Newsletter – Embodying the Divine Feminine

SILVER LINING OF SICKNESS

December 16, 2025 Mary Katherine Spain

On November 21st, I tested positive for Covid–for the first time EVER!

For some reason, my immune system has resisted the coronavirus (or all of her mutations-) all these years we have been aware, and living with, Covid. But I guess my luck was up! In addition to not being able to attend the family Thanksgiving gathering with my in-laws, I wasn’t really hungry enough to eat the yummy leftovers Michael brought home for me.

And that wasn’t my only low point during my ‘bout’ with Covid. Not by a long shot…

…but sometimes the low-point IS THE POINT.

It’s just too easy, isn’t it, to feel sorry for yourself when you’re sick. The pity-party gets rocked up to the next level. ALSO: No wonder we were all masked and isolated–Covid is NO JOKE! I have never been so sick in my life! Maybe when I had Scarlett fever as a child, but I don’t remember that.

You know the drill: NyQuil, sleep, hack, pray for some breathing apparatus to appear by your bedside when you wake up. Calling out for “More juice!” down the stairs to Michael. Moaning for the pounding headache to subside. The PILES of used Kleenex on the bedside table. Magazines, books, and more YouTube videos than you thought your eyeballs could possibly handle watching. Sometimes I would text Michael passive aggressive texts from upstairs: “Are you home?” which really meant ‘I need something.’ Poor Molly got instituted real quick as my emotional support animal. I wondered if my liver or kidneys were shutting down from all of the dextromethorphan in the NyQuil.

Rinse, repeat. And on it went for four days.

When our bodies weaken, so do our minds, and spirits. One feels strung out, defeated, even depressed. Ennui creeps in, and then maybe you go a little deeper, maybe you go to the Dark Place: Who Loves Me? What’s It All For?

It is hard to look on the bright side when you feel like crappola. But there is a silver lining down there in the cellar: when you are struggling in mind, body, spirit and soul, you are compelled to ask the harder questions of yourself. Shadow arises more easily because you don’t have your defenses up; there are no protectors of the ego in the house. Those ego-loyalists are out to lunch, possibly out of the country–they are not interested in listening to the harder questions the defenseless self asks.

These ideas and perceptions are the edge I was walking. Ideas–both creative and self-lacerating–were coming to the surface to be dealt with. As I wallowed in the bed, I had to make peace with those edgy shadow dwellers. But how?

It all started with a Facebook post. SHOCKING, I know! If you’ve never gotten triggered by a Facebook post before, you probably aren’t on Facebook. One thing I know for sure about Facebook: if you are in a great mood, you don’t even check it. If you are in a good mood, you might be mildly amused by your feed’s content or pleasantly distracted for a bit. If you are in a bad mood, say, when you are sick, chances are you might get triggered by something you see or pissed off by something someone posts.

Just saying.

And so it was with me. I noticed that an acquaintance who I had been in a training with a while back was offering a very interesting 4-day retreat for women. It looked like one of these “re-wilding” events, a chance to resurrect our primal selves, paint ourselves with mud and drum under a full moon. In other words, it looked like something I SHOULD be offering. Tempted to sign up myself, I became fixated on ‘why’ I wasn’t doing more of ‘these kinds of events’ at Avalon. I could carry this off! What was so great about so-and-so, when we probably have very similar skills…

Then I went to the Dark Place: You will never be so-and-so because you have to split yourself between the Professor Spain life at UNE and Lady-of-the-Manse life at Avalon. You can’t be FULLY either, and so you suck at both.

Ok, yes, it was easy to go to the dark place because I had been lurking in the waiting room of the dark place for a few days. Finally I was in! Thanks Covid! I was at the Big Show of Shadow, and I was spiraling.

Having one foot in one world and one foot in the other, I was convinced it was my job somehow to carry a sense of fracturedness. (For those of you keeping score at home, this was the “stop at the Martyr Hotel” of the darkness walk). It wasn’t long before I started resenting being the one in the family who had to carry the health insurance, and therefore maintain the health insurance JOB, i.e., my UNE job! *Mind you, Michael did this for us for SEVERAL years as I did not get jack-diddly in terms of insurance as an adjunct professor…

I’ll save you more details of the spiral, but believe me: It wasn’t pretty. At least I was stuck in bed and so didn’t project my nonsense onto anyone in my life. Thankfully, after I just could not stand myself anymore, I was ready to listen.

My defenseless self was willing to listen to what the Mighty Magi of Shadow needed me to tell me, and it went something like this:

“First of all, little darlin, if you wanted to be so-and-so and howl at the moon for four days with the MANY friends and shamanistas that you know, YOU COULD. You could do that!

But is that what you want? Because if it was, you’d be doing that.

And health insurance not-withstanding, you’re actually an intellectual. Oh I know you love to imagine that you are channeling Morgan LeFay here at Avalon but you also wanted to go to college at U-Mass Amherst because you really, really loved Emily Dickinson, because you loved poetry. You LOVE WORDS, and what you can make of them. So don’t poo-poo your dependable, conventional job at the university. PLEASE!

And another thing: what is so wrong with doing both? You call it ‘being fractured’ but isn’t it being multi-talented? Multi-interested? Couldn’t you just see it as being dynamic?

I’m here to remind you: You are someone who needs to do things her own way, in form and fashion that does NOT follow the ways and trends of others. You choke on the words “being a follower”–a fate worse than death. No, no! You can’t copy anyone’s style, or offerings!

So if you are really all that unhappy about how you’re showing up in the world, only you can change that. But just so you know: you generally birth the creations that come to you. You share the inspirations that run through you, and most generously.

You are the intellectual, AND you are the wild woman of the woods. Your words can cast spells as easily as your high ceremonies. You actually are free to do either, or both, or none. Nobody’s stopping you.”

I AM BOTH, I realized. I DO need to be original! The silver lining of sickness: feeling powerless strips you of artifice; not having the regular conditioning plugged in about how you go about your day, your perspective gets shifted.

Covid facilitated an unexpected trip to the underworld I needed, a moment of getting triggered, in order to access the space of the internal world– what a gift!

When you feel great, everything’s great. When you are knocked on your ass, you have to deal with yourself, your weaknesses, your shadow, your warts, your bruises.

Can we be kind to ourselves, when we are stumbling around down there in the cellar?

Christmas time is a time of giving. It feels good to give gifts, to spend a little extra on food and drink, to treat your loved ones to something special. But please do not forget that holiday time can also be a time of triggers, of old hurts resurfacing, even of coveting. If you feel yourself going to the Dark Place, there might be some auspicious wise counselors down there. If this happens this holiday season, my wish for you is to have the courage to hear them out.

And please, please, be gentle with yourself as you listen.

Shine On,
Mary Katherine

FEATURED EVENT:
FORGING THE FIRE WITH BRIGID
Sunday, February 1st, 2026
1 PM- 4 PM
Avalon Acres
Suggested Donation: $20
(This is a FUNDRAISER for Through These Doors*)

Join me and my dear friend and fellow shamanic practitioner, Kristi for a special day spent mostly outside learning the ways of Brigid, the Celtic Goddess of Healing, Smithcraft, and Poetry.

Please consider what empowers you FROM THE INSIDE. External validation is subjective–how are you forging your internal passions? The more joy we generate by doing what truly feeds us, the brighter our lights shine.

Calling on CREATION that is the SPARK of the Divine Flame Within, we will build an outdoor altar to Brigid, hold a Witness and Reveal circle, and speak to what hopes we have for a fruitful, abundant year.

This event is a FUNDRAISER for Through These Doors, a Domestic Violence Non-Profit serving Cumberland County and beyond.

Domestic Violence Prevention is a topic near and dear to my heart, as I was in an abusive relationship for four years with my first husband. One thing I learned was that Super Bowl Sunday (which falls on Sun, 02/08 this year) is one of the busiest days of the year for domestic violence hotline calls. Let’s help those volunteers helping other women!

TO REGISTER or FMI: Email MK! ninepillarshealing@gmail.com

WISE WOMEN TALKING
WINTER SOLSTICE CELEBRATION
Sunday, December 21st
12:45 PM–3:30 PM
AVALON ACRES

[This event is capped! The maximum number has been met for this special event. Hope to see you in January! Please note 2026 circle dates and mark your calendar!]

2026 DATES for WISE WOMEN TALKING
Wise Women Talking meets on the 3rd Sunday of each month at Avalon Acres* in Hollis, Maine from 12:45 PM–3:30 PM

Here are the dates (with a few caveats-) for 2026:

JAN 18th (virtual unless someone wants to host at their house)
FEB 15th (virtual unless someone wants to host at their house)
MARCH 15th
APRIL 19th EARTH DAY FOCUS
MAY 24th (* This is actually the 4th Sunday, FYI)
JUNE 21st SUMMER SOLSTICE ceremony
JULY 19th POSSIBLE WATER LOCATION for this circle
AUGUST 16th NO CIRCLE FOR AUGUST
SEPT 20th FALL EQUINOX ceremony
OCT 18th
NOV 15th HONORING THE ANCESTORS
DEC 20th WINTER SOLSTICE CELEBRATION

*As the barn is not heated, it is difficult (and uncomfortable) to hold our circle in person for the winter months therefore for Jan and Feb, we will meet on Zoom

FMI or to read about what we do in this FREE, open circle, click HERE

AVALON NEWS

CSA AVALON BOXES 2026

We will be taking orders starting in January 2026. Who doesn’t love some home-grown, fresh ORGANIC produce grown by this guy?

FULL SHARES WILL BE $350, and that’s 12 weeks of delish starting end of June x 12 weeks

AND SPEAKING OF 2026….ARE YOU IN?

In addition to my own offerings at Avalon and a possible workshop on Monhegan, here’s a few of the fun, nourishing, and soulful events we have planned for 2026!

MICHELE LOWRY:
Animal Communicator
*I’ve confirmed Michele’s Workshop! mark your calendar for Feb 7th, 11 AM- 2 PM at Avalon Acres!

AMYLIA JAYNE:
Journey Dance

ŚRI DEVI MELISSA UREY:
Sacred Sound and Yoga Nidra Retreat
*Summer Solstice*

JULIETTE SUTHERLAND:
Keening Workshop and Ceremony
Anger Workshop and Ceremony

JENSYN PELLETIER:
Holistic Healing Practitioner & Herbalist
Sound Bath & Meditation

AMANDA PAINTER:
Astrology Readings (as part of a mini-retreat)

Would you like to offer a special event at Avalon in 2026? We’d love to hear your ideas! Do you know someone that could benefit from our special magic, events, a night at the Sweet Suite? Feel free to forward our website; to see our rental form and FAQs, click here.

Newsletter

HAPPY SAMHAIN

November 9, 2025November 9, 2025 Mary Katherine Spain

As I was getting a client booked last week (yes, I am seeing clients again! Please see “My Schedule is Open!” further down in this newsletter!), she requested that we skip the check in, stating, “I am thinking starting out verbal puts the mind first..” I was struck by how much I resonated with this suggestion! On one hand, language and communication are my currency. As a writer, words and how to use them are my jam. Other forms of communicating feel somewhat inferior to me.

On the other hand, I LOVED her reasoning: “what I want from energy work is [to] shift on all energetic planes of the body.” In essence, she was trusting her own 1)intuitive sense of how she wanted to receive, and 2) trusting that as we evolve, other forms of seeing each other, knowing each other–beyond words and language–are emerging; and 3)trusting me to step into that space. WOW!

In preparation for her visit, I had to come up with some creative ways to engage since I forfeited asking my preliminary check in questions. I learn a lot about where my clients are with those little chats before a session. I know my guides are weaving golden threads around them, aligning our energies, and even dropping me a hint or two about what to ask next.

Going with something totally new–and something suggested by a client–was glorious and challenging at the same time! I did what any faithful light worker would do: I asked Spirit to guide me. Spirit showed me an experience I had just had in my medicine wheel the day before, and some wonderful images and messages had come through.

So: I was to tell my client this story, and ask her to “just listen.” It was a wonderful session, and was infused with trust and stillness that I definitely want to experience more.

This whole conversation with my client led me to think about a nugget of wisdom I received in a meditation a long time ago:

SELF ANALYSIS LEADS TO JUDGEMENT

SELF REFLECTION LEADS TO INSIGHT

Just as my client determined: Verbal puts the mind first. Our world is packed with words, and our world often over-uses words, misuses words, or even makes up untruths with words. I feel that over-analyzing is connected to this over-dependency on word salads and the like. So many of us know how to evaluate and assess but do we really know how to express how we feel, what we might be sensing? Words lock things down, as do labels. What if we were able to more fluidly exist in stillness, and ask for an absence of information, instead of more?

You might be one of those people–like me–who has a tendency to be self-critical. Could our bad habit of self-criticism fade a bit if we stop analyzing so much? We analyze our actions–past, present and future. We definitely analyze others’ actions. “What did she mean by…?” or “Do you think he really wants to…?” Fill in the blank of What-Ifs! And friends, WE ALL DO IT.

What would it take to lean into more of the self-reflection, knowing that the kinder we are to ourselves, we may discover some insight about life, about the nature of being human? And that must lead to compassion.

If you find yourself mulling over something, or perseverating as my husband calls it, ask yourself if there’s a chance you might move over to the self-reflection column. I do feel that too much self-analysis does lead to judgement, and it’s just too limiting.

How freeing would it be to simply ask for less, instead of more? This truly is nothing short of a paradigm shift! But I love the ability my client possessed to ask for what she sensed was the best thing for HER session.

FEATURED PRACTITIONER: SHANNON MURPHY

Shannon Murphy is the owner and founder of Wise River Rolfing located in Portland, Maine. Rolfing Structural Integration is a holistic, full-body approach for finding better structural alignment and functional ease by addressing the fascial system of the body. She helps clients depattern fascial restrictions through manual fascial work and guided movement. Shannon helps her clients open to change movement patterns and behavior in order to create more vitality overall and better functional movement.

Through a 10 series protocol of Rolfing Structural Integration the work is customized to your specific needs. The reasons for starting a Rolfing journey are as varied as the clients who walk through the door. She would love to support you with your health and wellness goals through the modality of Rolfing.

Learn more or book your appointment today at her lovely website, Wise River Rolfing, or email her at info@wiseriverrolfing.com

POP UP JOURNAL PROMPT #1

“You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.” ~Brené Brown

What does the brilliant Brené mean by this? We hear a lot today about ‘what story are you carrying’ and the stories that may be old, outdated and flat but still we cling to them.

Explore what your CURRENT story is. Is it a celebration of your hard-won lessons? Is it itchy and out-of-date like an outfit from yester-year? If you could write a new story for yourself, how would it go?

Speaking of stories…

DO THE SCARY STUFF

On Saturday, November 8th, I will be attending the In Her Words WeHeroines Conference in Yarmouth. As the founder of WeHeroines Susanna Liller asserts, we will be listening to stories that are “Not stories from books or movies, but the living, breathing stories of real women.” In the conference, we will be learning how to tell OUR STORY, and how to build the confidence needed to be inspiring. I am feeling very nervous to be in the room with these Sheroes! However, I feel like it is important to push ourselves from time to time to do, as Eleanor Roosevelt insists, “one thing every day that scares you.”

SHOUT OUT: KATHLEEN LUKE

A profound experience happened to me this fall. One of my most treasured mentors (my therapist) asked me to read and edit her memoir, The Way of Soul. It’s a book about the way she does therapy, how her study of energy work and Jungian methodology co-mingled with her own experiences with an exercise Jung called Active Imagination. Part science, part intuitive brilliance, I was emotionally, intellectually and soulfully blown away by its power and insight. Initially, I was so nervous! Here was a woman who knew me inside and out, had seen sides of me I probably have not shown anyone, and been the game-changing mouth of wisdom for…17 years! Yes! I have seen this phenomenal woman for 17 years. Therapy with Kathleen is not for the weak. Of all the truth-talkers I have known in my day, she tops the lists. Now, I’m supposed to read and edit her precious words?! Well, you can imagine that was a moment that ole Eleanor Roosevelt and her ‘do something that scares you’ advice would have been very proud of. Because of course I said yes! How could I say no to someone who has had such a powerful effect on me?

Then I started reading it. WOW! All I’m going to say is: You will want to purchase this book when it hits. I will keep you updated with publication status.

And from the synchronicity department: on Friday of this week, Kathleen and I both will find ourselves in a “discovery call” with MAP. My own manuscript–the Nine Pillars of the Divine Feminine–is so very close to being finalized! I am so, so honored to nearly have this book birthed in the world; to have helped Kathleen along the way with hers has truly been one of the privileges of my life.

DO YOU HAVE A WRITING PROJECT that you would like to work on in a more focused way? Do you, too, have dreams of publishing something one day? I’d love to help! My rates for reading, editing and re-visioning written work is $50/hour, and the ‘2nd pair of eyes’ rate [basically proof reading] is $35/hour.

POP UP JOURNAL PROMPT #2

“I never teach my pupils; I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn.” ~Albert Einstein

Have you considered the conditions in which you absorb, observe, learn, grow? Do you even agree with Albert here? Why, or why not? As someone who teaches both in academia and in my shamanic circles, I know that teaching is most effective when students feel empowered. But how does that happen? We teachers do not wave a magic wand and whisper ‘Now be empowered!’

Explore ways that you learn and teach others.

WISE WOMEN TALKING

Honoring the Ancestors

Sunday, Nov.16th, 12:45 PM–3:30ish

Avalon Acres

*POTLUCK*

[click here to go to our Wise Women Talking page]

MY SCHEDULE IS OPEN! And things are a little different…

There will be a few alterations to my healing sessions:

90 minutes, which breaks down as follows: 20 min check in, 50 min session, 20 min integration/exploration of net steps.
In order for me to stay honest with the 90-min appointment, I may email you a few days before to begin the check in process. Some folks need a lot of time to update me! And, admittedly, I ask a lot of questions. Long check-ins make the session more like 2 hours, and if I want to truly keep good boundaries, I need to shoot for 90 minutes.
Sliding scale: The sliding scale model is intended for anyone who may be facing financial challenges to still receive the healing they need. It breaks down as follows:

__NEW CLIENTS (never before seen) REMAINS AT $150 for a 2-hr session

__ESTABLISHED CLIENTS: $85–$125

__ESTABLISHED CLIENTS: who cannot pay the low end ($85) can trade 2 hours of work on the farm, gardens, or any other variety of projects here at Avalon; timeline of trade MUST happen within 6 months of appointment.

DRUM, SING, DANCE YOUR HEART OPEN:

FULL MOON FIRE CEREMONY DEC 4TH

I will be honest here: because of the drought conditions this summer and fall, I have not had enough sacred fires (or other kinds of fire-) here at Avalon. And frankly, I feel a calling to connect to fire (the Great Transformer) in hopes to connect with the Flame Within. When we are LIT UP from the inside out, we always have a light to see our path…

This will be the LAST FULL MOON of 2025. How did your 2025 go? Ready to send that ole boss down the river?! Let’s do it in ceremony, together!

This is also a chance to share one of Athena’s Pillars! Pillar #5 states:

“Fire ceremony. ‘Fire ceremony’ is redundant…every ceremony must have fire. Fire is the ultimate life bearer. The flame of spirit is what truly sustains us. Being a torch bearer means having an intimate relationship with all elements but fire is what truly transforms. Fire is the ceremony–transformation is the point. Gather in a ceremonial way as it will sanctify the community. Circle the wagons. If you can’t build a fire, light a white candle every morning and call in the Great Goddess.”

After our fire ceremony, we will gather in the house (by the stove fire) and enjoy some home-made soup and tea.

WHAT TO BRING:

__Drums, rattles and other ways to express (bring your singing voice!)

__Travel mug for tea

__Layers: We will be outside, exploring this transcendental time of winter-dreaming!

__A Folly Dolly, if you are called to make one. We’ll burn these in the Yule-to-be fire!

Not sure what a Folly Dolly is? Click here to get the idea!

ENERGETIC EXCHANGE: FREE or LOVE DONATION OF $10

(The donations will go to Through These Doors, the domestic violence service in Portland and surrounding areas)

AVALON NEWS

Druid gathering!

Public Gatherings & Workshops

HOLIDAY (or not) GIFT IDEAS THAT SPIRIT APPROVES OF!

From AMANDA PAINTER, ASTROLOGER:

Not sure what November’s Mercury retrograde from Sagittarius back into Scorpio might mean for you? Mercury’s retrogrades can be valuable phases for review, revising, reconsidering, reclaiming…you get the idea. But it can be hard to access that perspective if hiccups and glitches start piling up — especially against the overall mental backdrop of a world in crisis, and the many ways it can impact us on a personal level.

I am offering a flash sale on a very limited number of micro readings between now and Nov. 20, when retrograde Mercury aligns with the Scorpio New Moon:

– 10 minutes for $20

– new clients only

– remote sessions only

– please note that results will be most accurate if you know your exact birth time

These are designed as just a taste! If you want to go deeper, the micro session will include a 10% discount on a full length session at a later date. (You’re welcome to read more about what I do at amanda-painter.com.)

Only 6 spots are available for these micro sessions! Please contact me if you are interested in using Mercury’s backwards dance for insight rather than just irritation.

With Love,

Amanda

From LUCILLE MELTZ, INTUITIVE GUIDE AND HAND READING PRACTITIONER:

As the holidays approach, are you perhaps seeking an unusual and meaningful gift for a loved one or for yourself!?

I am now offering, through Jan 10^th 2026, a 20 % holiday discount on all my hand readings.

Attached is the current price list for all the types of hand readings that I do, so simply take off 20 % and let me know if you would like to proceed.

Remember, all my readings are done by phone and it does not matter where anyone lives in the USA.

I am always reachable to answer any questions either by phone,( 207-650-4376) or email. (please, please no texts!)

Thank you… and may the inherent promised peace of the holiday season bring you and yours a renewal of spirit.

Light,Lucille

Another great holiday gift is the GIFT OF EXPERIENCE. Why not purchase a gift certificate or class-pass for some Vedic Chanting with my soul sister, Sri Devi? Here is her most recent newsletter with her MANY offerings!

Thank you for reading! Hope to see you soon!

Newsletter

Fall Joy and Grief: Balancing Both

September 22, 2025 Mary Katherine Spain

I handed the package to the UPS lady. She had dyed black hair, a black shirt, and black-painted nails, and asked about the complicated address.

“Does the college name go first?”

I looked at her and smiled. “You’re asking me?”

She stared at the screen and went on to tell me that oftentimes, customers think she is an Amazon employee, or a postal worker. “I just click, click, and hope it reads it, ya know? I don’t know everything.”

I chuckled, out of courtesy, more than anything else. I was sending my best friend’s son, Daniel, a care package. He’s been at college for three weeks now. I just wanted to brighten his day, remembering all of the care packages my mom sent me at ECU.

“What’s in here?” she asked, still puzzling over the 5 lines of address.

“Poundcake. Golf balls.”

“Sounds like a party to me!” she snapped and we both busted out laughing. We chatted easily then, and all of a sudden, she blurted, “It’s taken it! We got the entire address in there now. Look.” She swiveled the screen around so I could read it.

“That’s awesome. Thank you!” I paid, headed out to my car for the long drive back to Hollis from South Portland. But something really strange delayed my commute: I broke down crying.

Sitting in my car, I didn’t know if I was having a panic attack or what. I could NOT STOP crying. There was a multitude of feelings, untethered as they were, and they came fast and furious: sadness over whether Daniel would even have a planet upon graduation (or a democracy), the lady’s exuberance about getting the address right (it’s the little things, eh?), the unending, unapologetic pain my body has been experiencing for (–fill in the blank here, I lost count for how long!), the people I miss, the things I WANT to do (if only I had more energy), and the ALL-STARS of this list: the “energy” of this time, eclipse season of 2025.

Yup, I could not “ground” enough to get my shit together. I clearly needed the cry, but was there something I needed to address? Did I leave the psychic gate open, and was doing someone else’s work? My heart was pounding, so I went back to thinking ‘panic attack,’ although I have only ever had one of those, about 20 years ago when I was training as a medical assistant.

I gripped the wheel, telling myself and the interior of my car: “Come on! You can do this!” But I couldn’t. I could not start the car, and I did not want to drive.

So I reached. I reached out to a real powerhouse of a woman, and a beloved friend. I knew she could talk me down or at least, admit that the cosmic storm was wreaking havoc with her stability as well. Misery loves company, doesn’t it? When someone else is struggling, your own struggle doesn’t feel quite as nasty.

However we didn’t just share struggle-stories. First of all, she let me wail and blubber. I felt like a baby! I’m sure most of what I said didn’t make any sense–it didn’t even to me! I told her some days, I feel like I am walking with the Ascended Masters and other days, I can hardly get out of bed. I told her that I was just sooooo tired: was it the busyness of the farm, my Airbnb guests, the flush of events and classes happening every single week-end, not to mention working full time? Was I getting “too old” for all of it? Or was it an emotional fatigue I couldn’t quite put my finger on?

She listened more than she talked, then offered her insights. Something she said to me that really stuck, I am working with and holding this morning: You can’t leave the 3-D reality, as it is our job to bring the energy and essence of the 5-D into this material world/plane of the 3-D. ASCENSION IS AN INSIDE JOB.

By the end of our conversation, we were talking about arthritis and all of the amazing dreams that are coming true–for both of us.

As Mel Robbins says, “No one is coming.” We take care of ourselves, and when we can’t, we call someone who cares. We pray. We sing, and we CRY! We must, we must, we must SURRENDER TO THE PROCESS of these crumbling realities because the more we clutch on to the old ways, behaviors, and paradigms, the more pain we will be in.

It is my opinion that our very definition of ‘human’ is being re-formed, and from an expansive place–not cultural, not ego-centric, and certainly not driven by law/government. It is stimulating the collective consciousness, which is actually UNITY consciousness and all it wants is: Love, Joy, Hope, Grace, Compassion, Creativity, Justice. The more people who can SURRENDER to this PROCESS instead of rubber-necking around the debris, the chaos, the interminable un-truths, the better off we will be.

Are you feeling like a big, long-awaited cry is coming on? If you are sensitive to energy, this is a time to let it GO THROUGH YOU. Other practices you can adopt are:

__Sitting under direct sunlight for 20 minutes each day

__Sitting on the ground

__Placing bare feet and bare hands on the Earth

__Sleeping

__Breathing/meditation

__Saying ‘no’ to externals that really do not interest you

__Finding a tree, or trees, that you admire and love and spending time there

__CRY–get it out!

__Movement of the body–dancing, yoga, qigong

AND: sometimes you just need to lose your shit. You need to stay in bed some mornings, call in sick. Being on the planet is HARD right now. No one in their right mind can deny it! I didn’t come here with an instruction manual on how to master life, did you? We are all doing the best that we can. I sense that, much like those communities that get hit with a flood, wild fire, or tornado and have to put all of their fears, prejudices, and judgment aside in order to LIVE, to get through to the next day, our new normal will be one that we BUILD TOGETHER BECAUSE WE HAVE TO.

A sanctified space follows a big purge.

Shine On, dear ones. You can call me and wail, btw.

Stillness is the key ! Allow the Fall Equinox 09/22/25 to help you balance in the “in-between”!

Newsletter

SHINE BRIGHT BABY

July 31, 2025July 31, 2025 Mary Katherine Spain

HAPPY LUGHNASA!

She had won the 2-night stay at Avalon in a silent auction. The proceeds were supporting an organization called YES, or Youth Enrichment Services in Boston, which offers youth the opportunity to have outdoor experiences that build confidence and gives those who might not be able to afford a ski pass or ski lesson the chance to participate in winter sports. My old friend, Gene, who lives and works in Dorchester, was helping organize the fundraiser, telling me his own kids had benefitted from many programs YES offered. He also asked me if I would donate a healing session on top of the “get-away” to the Sweet Suite. SURE! YES seemed like a great cause, and I’m always looking for places to promote the wild and wondrous lands of Avalon…

When Louisa showed up for her Maine week-end at Avalon, I’m sure she really did not know what to expect. As this was my first time hosting the “solo immersion retreat” neither did I! But I came up with a few things I thought might move her out of the active mind and busy pace of her CPA job and into some rest and relaxation at the farm.

On Friday, after arrival around 1 pm, I encouraged her to settle in, explore the trails, and roam the property. I also asked her to fill out the form, “Stating an Intention,” that I would be picking up at 8 PM that evening. Her healing session was scheduled for Saturday at 11 AM, followed by an afternoon of integration, where she could nap, read, go to the beach or whatever she wanted. Then, our ceremonial fire would be around 7 PM, after dinner.

One of the questions on the “Stating an Intention” worksheet was:

“A common icebreaker to introduce to a group of people who don’t know one another very well is to ask the group “Who would you invite to dinner?” Famous or not, alive or dead, you get to invite 5 people over for dinner. As someone who regularly communicates with nature and all of her beings, tell me the 5 aspects/spirits of nature you would like to have an enchanting night with. Are they all plants, birds, beasts, insects? Maybe there are trees and star constellations in attendance. Who would be your treasured guests, and why? List at least five.”

This was so awesome! I actively called in the nature beings, ie. “dinner guests” she wrote down for her healing session and throughout the week-end. I also loved hearing about her “why” as to the 5 she named. What did they mean to her? Was it a new curiosity, or childhood favorite?

Although I have stopped seeing one-on-one clients, I haven’t stopped doing energy work, and her healing session was very therapeutic for her. It also reminded me that I do LOVE the work! ( I just really needed a break in the WAY I was doing it). Because I knew she was getting extra juice from Avalon’s healing vibe, I was really excited she was only traveling by foot back to the Sweet Suite, not hoping in her car to drive!

Speaking of the Sweet Suite, I had created a Despatcho caddy for her in the unit. A Despatcho is a ceremony where you make a prayer bundle (Despatcho) and either burn it or bury it. Items traditionally used are tobacco, cornmeal, dried flower petals, herbs, and the like. I found these “snack caddies” at Wal-Mart (!) and meticulously labeled all of the items in the little bins. I also included a ‘decoder’ for what the items represented, their healing qualities, and possible prayers one may say with them. Instructions for making the prayer bundle and how to prepare your mind for prayerful engagement were also included.

I asked Louisa to make the bundle prior to Saturday’s fire ceremony, where we would place the bundle in the sacred flames together. She loved it so much, she made two, and took one home to place on her new altar. Our fire ceremony was sweet and soulful, and the energy of the evening felt settled, safe and nourishing.

In the morning, my plan was to have a final council: sit with a story of her week-end, then reflect it back to her using the images, discoveries, and insights we had been exploring all week-end. But, she had tickets for a musical down in Portsmouth with her boyfriend and his family, so she got on the road pretty early.

After some reflection about how I would do this next time (and what I would charge), I realized that part of our mission here at Avalon (and Nine Pillars’ mission, too-) is to help pull the veil back, away from the mundane, away from the busy monkey-mindedness in order to help people re-capture their best selves, and to maybe glimpse something of what the soul is truly longing for. I know my work in the world is stitched into this kind of immersive experience–and that is one reason why I really did not want to offer the 2-hr sessions anymore. I want people to have an experience that will linger with them; some of you may say that my healing sessions have lingered but facilitating the power of ritual (Despatcho), of ceremony (fire), of the Spirit BATH one receives from just being at Avalon is where my calling is now. This was a multi-layered immersion, something my high-self has been trying to put into motion at Avalon for a while. I did it!

I also had a very willing guest! She even wanted to join me in my Saturday morning “powering up” by dancing the Medicine Wheel with me. She was a great hula-hooper! I did provide coffee, tea, two lite breakfasts and snacks for her in the Sweet Suite. She was on her own for other meals.

What has your YES brought to your shores? For me, saying YES to YES (the organization!) brought me a wonderful, willing sojourner who gave me the invaluable gift of feedback. Relishing my own experience, what I learned, and the gift of true connection with Lousia not only enriched my week-end and blessed Avalon, but this will inform next steps for how I’d like to offer this experience in the future.

I am so proud of the work I do. Lughnasa is an excellent time to remind ourselves of our strengths, our ‘best selves’ that we can offer the world. Although not encouraged in our world these days, the ancient Celts took boasting to an artform at Lughnasa. Part levity, part competition, it was celebrated and encouraged to boast, maybe even embellish your greatest gifts.

What we focus on, expands. So why not focus on the best parts of you?

Shine On,

PS. If you’d like to book a week-end retreat at Avalon to experience the immersion I’ve described here, I have one week-end left in September and two in October. The energetic exchange is $350 (or, $300 without the guided fire ceremony).

FEATURED EVENT:

“Embodied and Emboldened: Becoming an Intentional Human”

Saturday, September 27th and Oct 18th

Nature Wander Immersion and WORKSHOP:

Intention: To become an emboldened, embodied, intentional adult who understands her medicine and is ready to give it to the community by reclaiming the contours of self and soul and who has a curiosity about how to show up in a world which has dominated and distorted the soul’s energetics for way too long

ENGAGE WITH SOUL 8:30 AM–11:30 AM

Wander the land of Avalon to re-discover what story your soul is holding and how you might engage with it throughout the day. As you walk with the wild world, make inquiries as to how you, too, can become your most awakened self; fasting encouraged but not required

~Pls enjoy your bagged lunch from 11:30–12:30~

REFLECT WITH SELF 12:30 PM–1:30 PM

Honor the voices of soul you heard on the land by calling up the MAKER of you. Reflect in your journal through poetry, drawing or other forms of creation. Make a mandala on the earth, collage the story of your morning with images. Paint, sing or even dance the wisdom you received. Some art supplies will be provided but feel free to bring your own

~break 1:30 PM– 1:45 PM~

CONNECT IN COMMUNITY 1:45 PM-4 PM

Discover how the distilled pieces of soul and self dance together and are best served in the community. Here’s where we carry the “emboldened” self and soul into the world. You will be guided to make a covenant with yourself in service to your discoveries of truth and share with the group in council the ways you intend to apply your medicine

*THIS IS AN ALL-DAY EVENT. We will be sharing, revealing, honoring the TRUTH that arises in each of us. If you have been wondering where your passion or purpose has gone, this event is for you! But please do recognize it is crafted with the integrity to go deeply into the authentic places of self and soul that need (and deserve) tending.

*SLIDING SCALE: $50–$65; Venmo, PayPal cash or check by 09/12 (for 09/27) and 10/03 (for 10/18)

Fmi: Email ninepillarshealing@gmail.com or text 207-939-6863

Newsletter

HAPPY BELTANE!

May 4, 2025 Mary Katherine Spain

Dear Lovely 2-Leggeds,

I thought a bit of whimsy in the form of a story would best fit my mood here at Beltane! Hope you enjoy…

KEEPIN AN EYE ON THAT HOLY LAND

She figured that they must have a James Taylor CD somewhere. Her guilty pleasure, American Idol, featured the balladeer in Sunday’s episode. Gosh, he looks old (he IS old!) but those blue eyes are still sparkly. As one of the contestants crooned away on the minor chords of “Fire and Rain,” she decided that she definitely needed to listen to JT.

Because her new-to-her Subaru came with a CD player–a CD player!–she knew she wanted to give it a whirl on her commute. What’s this? Okaaay, the CDs have been moved but it makes sense: Husband moved them closer to the CD player, in the kitchen. The fact that the little shelf-not-shelf looks like it’s about to dissolve into the floor is no bother. And there in the midst of piled-high stacks reads, “JAMES TAYLOR: LIVE.”

Before she leaves for work, she goes through the usual routine: All doors locked? Is the door to the mudroom closed, so the cat can’t get it? Did I leave a candle burning on the altar? Do I have my computer? Is the charger for the computer at work, or is it in the carrier bag? Is the lunch in the lunch bag, and is that in the reusable grocery bag, are the clogs in the bottom of the bag (because when you reach a certain age, lots of changes of shoes are needed throughout the day-), and does the dog have fresh water? Does she need to go pee again? Is the chicken door securely tightened? Did the overnight tiny-home guest leave yet? If so, should I throw in a load of sheets before I leave?

DO I HAVE EVERYTHING she asks herself over and over again, each day, and often at different intervals of the day…

She slowly backs out of the driveway and when that new-to-her little Subrau is turned in the direction toward work, she slides ole JT in the CD slot. The crackle and whoop-whoop of a live audience fills the interior of the car. She puts the Subaru in drive.

She sings. “There is a young cowboy, he lives on the range…His horse and his cattle are his only companions..” As that sweet, gentle voice of JT pulses in her ears and through the car, the memories start to flood in. But where are they from, what are they OF? A feeling? A person? A time, long ago..? “Some things are just timeless” she thinks. Is it the lyrics, or the notes? Is it the affinity for good song-writing, or is it the way some songs–this song–melts into her veins and before she gets to Route 202, it’s become a part of her.

No, it’s been re-membered into her.

And this makes her think: what a glorious thing to be taken by something! A song! Or Anything! The feeling: is it old, or new? She knows every word and keeps singing, and lets herself be transported somewhere but where? It is without definition, there is no “zip code.”

Finally she asks herself: How can I hold this? This thrumming of Sweet Baby James with me, for the rest of the day? She thinks the sensation belongs in a museum for safe keeping, so others can know, understand what music does. And what does music “do”? That’s the mystery, much like other forms of art. And it’s not like James Taylor stopped there: he made SO MANY great songs! Maybe the mystery is what calls us to our particular inspirations, she thinks, how any one of us might dance with their muse, quantifying the unquantifiable just for the joy of it.

In her reverie, she loses track of the story the song is telling, now hears James sing, ‘singing works just fine for me’–is it a suggestion to move toward the thing that alleviates suffering? What elixir has JT found in the singing, the song-making? A simple anecdote, so simple it is profound…She wonders what ‘works for her.’

As she makes the right turn at the Buxton Hannaford, she decides right then and there “This was so much better than thinking about Dumpster-Child on TV tonight, being interviewed. This was so much better for my soul than NPR.”

And then she immediately feels guilty for ‘tuning out’ or being ‘privileged’ to tune out. “In the world but not of the world” as Jesus once suggested comes to mind. I can do this, she thinks. I CAN be here, in the world, but still turn OFF NPR.

A toy Jesus I found on the beach at Oak Island, the first week of April. Weirdly, my sister found a toy Jesus three days later in Farmville, NC!

“So good night you moon light ladies, Rock-A-Bye Sweet Baby James!” She’s cry-singing now as she passes O’Donal’s in Gorham, gripping the wheel, swaying from side to side in the front seat. She starts to remember all the other people in her life who love James Taylor. She thinks about the sad song, Fire and Rain. She thinks about Carole King, and Joni Mitchell–two of JT’s lovers. She thinks about whether there is a biography of JT out there? She even thinks about JT’s once-upon-a-time heroin addiction, and thinks she recalls that being the reason that Joni had to leave him.

DO I HAVE EVERYTHING? What Works For Me? Will I go down in those Dreams? She wonders…and sings herself through the parking lot, into the building, and through her day.

Shine On You Moon Light Ladies,

Mary Katherine

FEATURED PRACTITIONER:

ŚRI DEVI Melissa Urey

I met Śri Devi (Shree) last October when I went on retreat with her up to Borestone Mountain. It was 4 days of silence, yoga, vegan deliciousness and, well, the magic that is Borestone. Oh, and VEDIC CHANTING. The entire time I was in her presence I felt I was with a sprite. No fluff-sprite, however. A DEVOTED sprite to her practice, her heart-tending, her curiosity, and of course her mantras, which she chants with an other-worldy vibration. No joke, she is the real deal. If you get a chance to study with her, go on retreat with her, take one of her classes, DO IT.

Śri Devi Melissa Urey (Shree) is an intuitive energy & sound healer, Usui Reiki Master Level Teacher/Practitioner, ERYT-500, Vedic chanting teacher and meditation guide.

Śri is a holder of sacred space and has been immersed in the study of energy healing and the nature of reality since 1998. Over the years she has delved deeply into teaching various yogic practices and philosophy, Sanskrit, sound healing technologies and chanting. She is an authorized teacher of Veda chanting in the Mysore sampradaya of the Krishna Yajur Veda.

She offers private sessions, group events, classes, 40-day chanting practices and retreats both in-person and online.

A few of her upcoming offerings are:

Introduction to Vedic Chanting – Online 6-week course

Sacred Sound & SIlence ~ A Silent Retreat with Yoga & Sound Healing for Women

Monthly Community Kirtan & Hanuman Chalisa Practice

Bi-Monthly Restorative Yoga w/Reiki & Sound Healing

Reiki Level 1

Śri also offers regular free online community chanting circles.

To stay informed on upcoming offerings you can visit her website www.melissaurey.com or sign up for her mailing list HERE

FEATURED EVENT: ANGER CEREMONY

HOLDING SPACE FOR SACRED RAGE

Saturday, May 17th, 1 PM- 4 PM

Avalon Acres

Designed and Co-Led by Artist and Filmmaker, Juliette Sutherland

Are you a woman who is tired of being put in a box, confined to express “acceptable” emotions instead of the full human range?

Are you a woman who is tired of sugar-coating everything you say, worried not to offend someone?

Are you a woman who is confused, sickened, ANGRY at the rampant (continued) objectification of WOMEN in our world?

DO YOU HAVE SOME RAGE TO EXPRESS?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, THIS EVENT IS FOR YOU!

FMI or to Register: Please email Juliette: juliettesutherland89@gmail.com

WISE WOMEN TALKING

SUNDAY, MAY 18th, 12:45 PM–3:30 PM

AVALON ACRES

WE WILL FOCUS ON JOANNA MACY’S
WORK THAT RECONNECTS!

FMI: email me! ninepillarshealing@gmail.com or check out the website page for this group: https://ninepillarshealing.com/wise-women-talking/

AVALON NEWS

MEET WILEY!

(The Sweet Suite is unavailable from May 19th–June 21st, as Wiley will be lodging there)

Michael and I are first-timers for the WWOOF program [Willing Workers On Organic Farm], but think we have found the perfect fit! Wiley will soon graduate from Clarkson University with a BS in Electrical Engineering. He grew up in Groton, Massachusetts and played several sports throughout highschool. He comes with some experience farming, having helped out one summer on a farm in Maine that his sister was working at the time. He is even interested in the spiritual aspects of our operation. Yah!

How It Works: The WOOFER (Wiley) helps in the fields and all other facets of farming in exchange for room and board. No money is exchanged, and we make sure he’s fed! He’ll also have plenty of time to explore the area, take a run through our trails, read and rest. Wiley told us he was ready for some non-academic time. I think Avalon will be good for that!

Newsletter

PERSIST, PERSIST, PERSIST

January 23, 2025 Mary Katherine Spain

Newsletter

WINTER SOLSTICE RENEWAL

December 20, 2024December 20, 2024 Mary Katherine Spain

Once upon a time, a young woman was having a really hard day with her three little girls (twins, mind you, plus a younger girl). The girls were not having a hard day; in fact, they were having a ball jumping from twin bed to twin bed, giggling, screaming, egging one another on. The youngest of the trio watched in awe from a nearby rocking chair, dreaming of when she too could join the mayhem.

“Stop it! Do you want to go into time-out AGAIN?” the mother screamed.

“Mommy is gonna put us in time out again! Mommy is gonna put us in time out again, we better stop!” one of the twins howled, not stopping at all.

“We’re baaaaad! We’re so bad, we are driving mommy craaaazzzzy!” Ping, ping, ping went their little bodies against the chenelle bed coverings, which were a shade of 80’s dusty rose. The sun streamed in the only window in the room and the mother thought that if her girls weren’t acting like circus monkeys, they may very well look angelic.

“Right now, you must stop right now before someone gets hurt and we’re all piled up in the station wagon going to the ER!” The mother was now standing between the twin beds in the small room, trying to tackle them as they jumped over the ‘river’ between the beds.

“Mommy, you’re in the river, the big fish is gonna get you!” one twin warned.

“Yeah, mommy, you might get eaten and then what will you do?” the other twin added, smacking mommy’s butt as she jumped to the bed.

At that moment, possibly because of the lack of control but maybe because THIS MOMENT was the pinnacle of many moments which had not gone as planned for the young woman, she screamed at the very top of her lungs, in a voice she herself did not even recognize: “GOD HELP ME!”

All three of her daughters stopped and stared, like wee possums blinded by a car’s high beams. A few seconds of utter stillness unfolded. But it did not last.

“There’s the fish now, he’s coming for mommy’s legs!” one twin pointed at the floor.

“We need to rescue mommy!” the other twin shouted.

The young mother angrily threw up her hands. “That’s it, we’re going in the car. Who wants to go on the roller coaster road? Let’s go, now!”

And she put them all in the station wagon. She did not know where she was going, or for what purpose, other than to GO. She had to get them out of that room, or she might have really and truly drowned in the river of insanity.

Off they went down the roller coaster road. The mother accelerated a bit at the top of each hill, letting the car glide freely at the bottom. The movement, the breeze, soothed them for a short while but then the girls began carrying on once again. The young woman began to sob silently, the tears clouding her vision. “What have I done? Is this my life?” she asked herself.

At that moment, she heard another voice in the car: “Pull over here.” Her entire body went stiff with fright, and she pulled into the very next driveway she saw. Gripping the wheel, she looked at the non-descript Cape, a small ring of wildflowers crowding the mailbox. There was no name on the box, and she did not know what to do. Again, she heard the deep, primordial voice: “Knock on the door.”

She approached the door and knocked, wiping the tears from her eyes. An old woman in a floral apron opened the door. “Yes, how can I help?”

The young woman stared at the lady, looked back at her daughters in their carseats, and turned back to the lady and said the only thing she could say, which was the truth. “I don’t know. I don’t know why I’m here.”

The old woman opened the door wider and stated, “Oh, good, then. Means God sent you. Do come in, dear, and bring the girls with you.”

And so she did. The young woman and the old woman sat, and talked as the girls played with a boxful of toys the old woman had sitting by the stove. The young woman cried and cried to the old woman, telling her about the immense fear she had about being a good mom (or not), trying to “do it all” and failing miserably, or so she thought.

The old woman nodded, shared a few tales of her own when her children were ‘rascals’ and the two women eventually laughed about the hardships of raising these little precious things called children. Although she did not understand why she was led there, the young woman felt a bit more stable for coming, and the girls appeared to be calming down as well. She thanked the old woman for her kind hospitality.

The old woman stood up, straightening her apron. “Now, you must do this, what I’m about to tell you. Whenever you are vacuuming, changing a diaper, washing dishes, anything, say ‘Thy Will Be Done.’ Over and over, you say that. Hum it, if you’d like.”

The young woman said the phrase back to her; the old woman affirmed. THY WILL BE DONE.

And so, the young woman and her three daughters returned home. The young woman, not seeing how ‘Thy Will Be Done’ could hurt anything in her world ( she was not overly religious-), began uttering this, just as the old woman had told her to do.

Three weeks passed. The sun was high in the sky, and it was a lovely early summer day. The girls had gone outside in the yard, where the young woman could watch them from the living room picture window. She noticed they were singing; their little hands were waving in the air, and they were moving in a circle.

The young woman moved closer to the window, not believing her eyes. Her three daughters were singing, “God is in me, God is in me, God is in me!” Her joy and amazement melded into a state of grace, for she was overcome with an indescribable state of bliss.

And then she saw it: In the picture window’s reflection, a golden light entered the top of her head and moved throughout her entire body. As she watched her own reflection in the picture window change, she became without words, and thoughts. The image became more distinct, and her daughters kept singing. The young woman watched her eyes turn an otherworldly shade of emerald green as her own hands shot into the air and she began to sing, “God is in me, God is in me, God is in me!”

This story ends here, although the woman who told me this story did not end it there. She shared many things, and this story came up because we were talking about Jesus the other day at the monthly circle I hold here at Avalon, Wise Women Talking. I wanted to share it with you because it is a reminder that miracles happen, that God is indeed with us, and angels are among us. Although you may not always know ‘what to do,’ you can always sing, and you can always ask for help. God is in YOU.

May Spirit speak to you this Yule season. You never know what may unfold.

Shine On,

Mary Katherine

FEATURED PRACTITIONER & EVENT: Vivian Rae

So it was Covid, and I needed a massage. I had seen this new name on our Healers Forum (FB) and was curious if she was taking new people? Turns out she was and that someone was Vivian Rae; at the time, I recall Vivian telling me she had just moved to the area from Bar Harbor. Incorporating tuning forks with the massage, I was deeply enveloped in the theta state of healing. But massage is only ONE of her many talents!

Vivian practices Ayurvedic medicine, is an herbalist, a sound practitioner and a peristeam hydrotherapist. In a recent interview, she stated, “I work in person and virtually, offering Ayurvedic Health Consults, Pelvic Health Steam Consults, Bodywork, Sound Therapy, and Herbal Products. I love integrating these modalities and giving my clients full spectrum guidance on their healing path. Ayurvedic consults support the foundation of a person’s unique constitution and teaches how to balance through food therapy, herbs, lifestyle, and environment. My Pelvic health steam consults offer an ancient and powerful way to connect to the root, release trauma, balance hormones, support pelvic health, replenish cycles, and provide sexual healing. My bodywork integrates sound therapy, herbal oil, and essence attunement so that the physical and energetic body feel vital and whole. And my herbal products are made from organic ingredients and many local herbs and support self care practices and nurturing for the whole body.”

UPCOMING EVENTS with VIVIAN RAE:

12/21 -Winter Solstice Sound Meditation
1/11-Pelvic Steam Ceremony
1/17-Sound Meditation

Want to know more or have a question? Visit Viv’s lovely website, sign up for her newsletter and find a nourishing winter experience with her healing medicine:

https://www.viviraewellness.com/about-vivian

WINTER SOLSTICE RITUAL and JOURNAL PROMPTS:

Mark the turn of the Wheel into Winter this Saturday, 12/21 by stepping into the North Direction! Ways to honor this time include powering down: quiet reflection, journaling, and rest; walks alone are on the menu. This can be a busy season, compelling us to go-go-go. The Winter Solstice is your choicepoint to STOP. In fact, Solstice means Sun-Standing-Still.

WINTER SOLSTICE RITUAL :

What would really renew you? This time of year (the solstice) got conflated with Christian doctrine but the message is the same: Hope is Here, among us. God is With Us (Emmanuel). The Light IS Everlasting…and YOU too have a chance to be re-born. Who do you want to be next? What can you leave in the decaying leaves of Fall for a true re-birth? Who, or what has been dead-weight in your life?

MAKE the room dark (if you can do this ritual right at sunset on the 21st–the initiatory point of the longest night of the year–that would bring extra magic to this ritual).

LIGHT a white Candle and set your sacred space in your usual way–simply making the intention of honoring the Solstice is a great way to “tune-in.” Take a few deep breaths through your heart. “Arrive” in your space; if it is your tradition, call in your helpers–power animals, ancestors, angels, guides. Meditate as long as you’d like–give yourself the lusciousness of SPACE!

PREPARE your Sacred Water: In a pot that can handle boiling water, place a medley of dried herbs in the pot. Clarifying and cleansing herbs could be rosemary, cedar, lavender, sage, and eucalyptus. A sprig from your Christmas tree would be great as well. You want to place your candle as close to the pot as possible. Put a tea kettle on to boil water. While you wait for it to boil, write down a few thoughts and reflections to the questions above. A glass pyrex bowl would be better than a pot however I have cracked many “heat resistant” glass bowls!

WHEN YOUR WATER is ready(and when you are ready), pour the hot water over the herbs. You have a few choices as to how you can interact with this sacred water, now infused with clarifying and healing herbs:

Say a prayer into the water for what you are calling you, what you are ready to birth
Say a prayer for ALL that you are letting go of, and all that you are ready to say goodbye to. A good, simple template is “I lovingly let go of_____.” Or “I lovingly cut my karmic ties with______.” Be creative!
Say a prayer outloud for a new teacher, a new love, a new job, a new anything: We are in the time of the Christmas angels. Prayers spoken now through Epiphany (01/06) are heard BY MULTITUDES. Be intentional
Say a prayer of gratitude, offering outloud all that you have learned this year, all that you have accomplished, all that you have been blessed with

As you breathe in the various aromas of the herbs, watch the steam swirl and rise up into the air. Trust that your prayers are being carried to where they need to go. With presence, know that YOU are part of ALL THAT IS and that you are RE-BORN!

JOURNAL PROMPTS for the WINTER SOLSTICE (or anytime during the “12 days of Christmas”)

The Winter Solstice marks the sun moving into Capricorn, a sign known to “get things done.” If you have ever heard the saying “Those who succeed just simply didn’t give up,” they were probably talking about a Capricorn, who personifies “Perseverance.”

Are your plans on target, are they realistic, achievable?
What changes in your life are you ready to accept, if your wildest dreams came true?
Are you ready to receive what you hope to manifest? Are you approaching your goals by the best route?
Is other help available, whether in Spirit/spirit allies or physical mentors, friends, or teachers in your midst? Call them in
What factors are still not fully fleshed out yet? What needs a bit more time to simmer?

At year’s end, it is a great time to “take stock” of the year, reviewing any highlights, trials and triumphs. If we don’t stop to reflect, we can’t make sense of our unique experiences

Happy Solstice Soul Friends!

WWT: Ongoing circle at Avalon is well into its 2nd year! I want to thank my co-pilot and co-plotter for this nourishing circle where the original intention was to ‘express freely’ –we do that and so much more! Last week, on 12/15, Nancy and I offered a Healing Circle. I also provided a “Rituals for the Winter Solstice” mini-gift bag for all attendees. If you are curious, interested, or looking for a soulful connection with women, join us next month!

OUR NEXT WISE WOMEN TALKING CIRCLE will be on Sunday, January 19th from 12:30-3 PM. Details to come for our 2025 theme!

My co-pilot, Nancy Cole…what a year it has been!

BLACK BEAN SOUP recipe!

Black Bean soup is a lovely, vegan, GF treat to serve on the winter solstice! This particular dish can be as straightforward or spicy/extravagant as you want. I tend to enjoy a little heat in my food so keep that in mind…adjust as necessary!

Black Beans (4 x 15 oz cans)

1 medium sized onion

2 stalks celery

2-3 medium sized carrots

1 container of veg broth

1 x 15 oz can of diced tomatoes (Rotel is best! They’re already mexican flavored)

1 small can of chopped green chilis

1 red bell pepper, diced

1 medium sized sweet potato

3-4 cloves garlic

S/P-to taste (*add a little salt to the 1st step, ie. sauteeing the mirepoix)

1 tsp cumin

1 tsp oregano

1 tsp parsley

A shake or two of red pepper flakes (skip it if you don’t want spice)

A shake or two of chili powder (skip it if you don’t want spice)

A shake only of cayenne (skip it if you don’t want spice

Peel and cut sweet potato into thirds and boil; once it is “just soft” (ie, not boiled to death), drain water in colander and let cool

In a large non-stick frying pan or a dutch oven, heat up about 2-3 TBS of oil (olive oil best) on medium heat.

Make mirepoix by dicing the onion, celery and carrots; you can crush or finely chop the garlic. Mirepoix is a traditional base for all soups; essentially medium chop the “trio” (onion, celery and carrots) then crush the garlic in when the onion begins to look translucent. If your pan is too hot, you may get a little burn on these veggies–for this soup, that’s ok! It will add a subtle smoky flavor. But not too much! *Sprinkle a little salt over these veggies as they will “sweat” more easily and cook more easily if they are salted

Chop and/or dice the red pepper and add to pan

As these things cook down, you may add your other spices; cook for about 5 minutes

Turn off heat or remove from heat altogether and prep your beans:

__With 2 cans of the beans, place entire contents in a cuisinart and pulse until they come out a grayish color, with some bean ‘skins’ visible

__Dump /scrape ‘bean paste’ in the dutch oven where you sauteed your mirepoix; if you sauteed the mirepoix in a frying pan, transfer both mirepoix and bean paste to a big soup pot

__Open the last two cans of beans and dump those in the dutch oven or soup pot

*Note: if you do not own a cuisinart, a blender will probably do although I have never put beans in my blender

Add the entire container of veg broth

Your sweet potato should be nice and cooled off by now; dice it and place in soup pot or dutch oven.

Add the can of chopped green chilis and your can of Rotel diced Tomatoes

Slowly bring your soup up to a simmer. A WHISK will be your best friend during this process because that bean paste will want to sink to the bottom and stick. Stir in the LOVE of the returning sun!

Let your black bean soup simmer, stirring occasionally. Turn it off for at least 15-20 minutes and let it “get happy” as it ‘sets’ –lid is slightly on, or “askew” so some air can escape

ACCOUTREMENTS to black bean soup: (my favorite part, but many of these things will make it not-vegan, fyi):

__CILANTRO! Yum.

__A dollop or two of SOUR CREAM!!

__Shredded cheddar or your fav cheese (the vegan cheese options aren’t bad! Especially if they melt into the soup)

__Tortilla or chips (or both!)

__chopped scallions

*Note: It is visually appealing to “swirl” your sour cream in a spiral into the black bean soup. This reminds us of the ongoing cycle of life, the returning sun, the changing seasons. Remember: We welcome WINTER on the Solstice!! Time to comfort yourself with warm, nutritious foods!

*As with most soups, this one gets better after a couple days! Makes a killer huevos rancheros as well

ARE YOU STILL WITH ME, SOUL FRIEND?! I thank you kindly…

CSA BOXES FROM AVALON! ORDER NOW! ORGANIC PRODUCE for YOU!

Our beautiful farm boxes of Avalon are now available for the 2025 season! We want to thank all of our customers who purchased a farm box last season–we truly could not do this without you!

Drop-off in Portland for any who can’t make it out to Hollis!
Half-shares (every other week-) available

Newsletter

Blessings of Samhain

November 3, 2024November 3, 2024 Mary Katherine Spain

I downloaded this image many moons ago from the internet. If you zoom in, you can read the artist’s name. This image reminds me of the woman I am INSIDE, on her best day. It’s a good thing to have a “high self” you’re always striving towards…and never forgetting about.

Hello and Happy Samhain to You!

As we enter the “Dark Half of the Year” [OCT 31-MAY 1st], or simply ‘winter,’ we are called at this time to slow down. We relish, maybe even take pride in the full sentence of “No, thank you” [I need to rest, be by myself, do nothing]. We tug and then gently pull the threads of gratitude and thinking-about-what-matters through our prayer shawl.

What prayers are you muttering over the wool? Is it for community, for love to prevail? Maybe you are calling in your tribe to weather the change…maybe you just want things to settle down.

As I tee-up this most profound essay written by my dear friend and teacher, Lucille Meltz, I want to invite everyone who reads this newsletter to know that ultimately, we are all responsible for the quality of our relationships, the health of the planet, the cleanliness of our water, and the mental, intellectual and physical health of our children. Prayers for a brighter world are great but it takes action, too. Calls to action can be found anywhere, if you’re looking and listening. For this newsletter, I am gladly handing over my usual space to Lucille who, indeed, is calling out to each of us.

A brief introduction: Lucille is an author, an intuitive guide and the owner of Touch The Soul Life Coaching. She also performs hand analysis and is a dedicated protector of the natural world. Her writing over the years has brought me much joy, inspiration and a few tears and that is why I am so thrilled to offer you her insights this month.

In the essay below, she shares but a small snippet albeit a powerful one of her experience living through the recent hurricane that ravaged the Western Mountains of North Carolina. This area of my beloved home state is a soul home if there ever was one. It took me about 5 times to get through this essay, so you’ve been forewarned: Get your box of tissues and read on.

From Lucille:

Hurricane Helene has been a powerful teacher.

Living in the aftermath of a natural disaster in the mountains of Western North Carolina brings me to a deep reflection of all that was, all that is yet to be, and all that we may still need to learn.

The first hit of this unprecedented storm with torrential rainfalls of up to 30 inches and gale force 90 plus mph winds, causing thousands of ancient towering trees to crash over roadways, cars and homes, was all a devastatingly sudden shock. Buildings, streets, houses, steel and concrete bridges, interstates and all manner of roads and driveways washed out in a flash destroying lives, homes, businesses and all security for untold numbers of residents in mountain towns. And then there were the hundreds of terrifying monstrous landslides whose sound and roar alone traumatized so many, if they were fortunate enough to survive.

The power and terrorizing drama of this epic event has been dubbed by many as one of Biblical proportions.

Now, weeks later, as life resumes and each of us attempts to rebuild “normal”, the process of recovery begins. But what does that look like?

How do we learn from our experience on the most profound level?

The days immediately after the storm with virtually no or little cell communication, with all power and internet out, no refrigeration for perishable food, no hot water or no water at all, none of us could count on outside help. Fire and police rescue were already overloaded, barely able to handle life and death emergencies. We could not reach family in or out of the state.

Without our neighbors, many of whom, pre-storm, were almost strangers, life would have been impossible.

In my small condo complex, as the storm ended, people wandered hesitantly outdoors to survey the now almost unrecognizable landscape and immediately reached out to one another. “Are you OK?” “What do you need?” were the questions I heard over and over during those first post storm days.

One neighbor with an outdoor grill bringing a cooked breakfast to another who had no food in the house. Another chasing down and dragging back all the lost recycling and trash bins dangerously close to floating away in the nearby creek. Several of us mopping up the flooded living room of a single neighbor. Many of us checking on the slightly disabled elder resident whose doorway was blocked by an enormous downed tree. A new resident who I had never met knocking on my door to offer me a spare phone charger because she had heard I did not have one. Those with any extra cash giving or loaning it to others without funds, as we all struggled in a new cash only society, with all banks closed.

Simple, kind, helping deeds and reminders that we were not alone.

We shared meals, rides, checking in on one another about family missing or trapped in other parts of the mountains. Tears were frequent, but so were hugs, and surprisingly enough, at times, even laughter.

In the midst of a total lack of security, many of us forged a new community without regard for age, political values, lifestyle or religious beliefs. It was a terrifying time of uncertainty and yet, also, of saving connections that still lives in my heart as we all seek to return to a more settled life.

And as I now walk my once beautifully tree lined neighborhood, I am deeply saddened by the sight of the gigantic corpses and chopped up remnants of dozens of majestic gigantic oaks and pines that had graced our walkways. The vacuum created by their destruction fills me with a sorrow for their hundreds of years of life, gone in a whiplash, and destroying, with their lives, the habitats of countless birds and land based creatures.

My grief is not only for our human habitat. We share a planet with a bountiful number of beings who also now feel the tragic impact of this unprecedented event.

As human neighbors we came together to survive and assist one another in that survival. Now, individually and collectively, as we look to rebuild, what and how are we rebuilding? What qualities and provisions do we cultivate and store within and without, to create a more complete, prepared future for what may yet come for all of us, every living being?

None of what Hurricane Helene brought us should have been a surprise. On varied levels, through estimates and warnings by countless scientists, we have been told for decades of the process of climate change, what it means, and how it will increase and intensify hurricanes, floods, wildfires, tornadoes, all manner of natural disasters. And for those of us tuned into it, astrological, psychic predictions and Biblical prophecies have been forewarning us of these times.

We are no longer living in the times of warnings.The future is now; it has arrived.

As our outer landscape has been ravaged, we are being called to cultivate the awareness of our inner landscape, our emotional and spiritual patterns needed to guide us forward.

Almost three weeks after the storm I continually hear of the strength of WNC communities who put aside all differences to help one another. This alone may be one of the most important lessons of our lives. It is the essence of who we are, the primal need to help and support one another. It is the basic power of love that we have been taught in various faiths and beliefs systems, a universal truth. And it may be what saves our world.

While I stood in three hour long grocery lines and waited in mile-long gas lines, a quality which I immediately observed was patience. No one rushed anyone. No one rushed at all. Customers leaving the market routinely walked up and down the long waiting lines to offer their now empty carts to strangers. Store employees cruised the same lines offering bottled water at a time when it was a precious commodity. Phones were barely working, so interpersonal communication surged, smiles happened and all the waiting times felt infinitely shorter.

One of the most delightful events I witnessed was seeing so many children playing outside, biking, running, laughing, engaging in free form physical activity. Schools were closed, phones pretty much useless and kids became kids again. Never had I known that there were so many children in my neighborhood! Nor had I ever seen so many hikers, bike riders, dog walkers, and joggers.

The outdoors, decimated as it felt, called to all of us and we felt not just the refreshing calming peace of sunshine, but the common experience of being together, of all of us having survived a singular disaster.

Patience during a common shared catastrophe built kinder, more united communities in the wake of Helene. Also, compassionate understanding for the fears we all faced. Empathy for those who suffered with us. These are the qualities that reside deep within each of us and surface when we allow ourselves to let go of differences.

Helene is asking us: Why did you have to wait for me to come along to actually exhibit those qualities wholeheartedly, without restraint?

Do we have to keep reliving our fears to remember a basic spiritual tenet, that we are all one?

How and when do we universally acknowledge that patience, compassionate understanding and empathy also are needed by those who do not belong to the human race, but suffer along with us on our shared planet?

In the midst of survival tasks of finding food, caring for another and seeking safety, there is no thought of yesterday’s sorrows or tomorrow’s agenda. The spiritual concept of being present, living in the now is all there is. It becomes essential to focus on only the task at hand, and in doing so, a sense of peace and calm prevails.

Like so many Helene survivors,I am already gathering physical supplies for future possible disasters. My own consciousness has shifted dramatically in truly recognizing that the scientific predictions and prophecies are playing out right now. That is all important but my greatest, most valuable preparation is from within.

Here in the mountains of Western North Carolina, Helene has come to teach us that the tools of survival are not confined to the physical plane.

Finding peace in the midst of the storm requires first tapping into the peace reserve within our hearts and spirits. All the spiritual practices I have practiced and used for over 45 years served me in more profoundly effective ways than my ice cooler or my flashlights. My decades of meditation, practicing gratitude, positive affirmations, daily prayers, utilizing and expanding my intuition, tuning into nature and offerings of unconditional love are what kept me centered as the chaos swirled around me. And when the almost paralyzing fear arose, as it did for each of us in differing ways, I was usually able to separate out from my ego and seek a place of quiet inner contemplation to recharge and continue on.

My intention post-Helene is not just to stock up on solar lanterns. It is to plunge deeper into my own reserve of spiritual development, to explore and increase my own light within.

Helene has forged an awareness of the strength of my inner landscape, as it has for all who have come together in community, sharing resources, ingenuity, support, helping hands, supplies, sorrow, hopes, and especially, love.

Is it conceivable, in a world of ever increasing catastrophes, that if we actually learn and embrace the lessons that Helene has offered us, we may not need the teachings of more catastrophes? Is it possible that we can defy all the predictions and as an inner and outer connected species, uniting in love and acceptance, we might create a universal conscious energy of light instead of more darkness?

Might we redefine our survival?

~Lucille Meltz, October, 2024

FEATURED PRACTITIONER: MARSHA STULTZ
and the HEART LOTUS EVOLUTION

The Heart Lotus Evolution certification program is a deep and powerful transformational process that will change your life. HLE is the original work of Marsha Stultz, having mined her 30-year career of being an energy healer in order to develop it. She works closely with her guides, and they have taught and advised her well. This 12-day program is offered in 6 weekends over 6 months January-June for healers, artists, parents and anyone ready to transform. It begins in January of 2025.

Based in quantum science, this training is for women and provides techniques to over-ride past programming and let go of old unhealthy patterns. In a safe and nurturing environment, you will learn to: shift to 5th dimensional energy, heal wounded inner child aspects, create paradigm shifts in thinking and living, release thought forms others project on to you, shed limiting belief systems, learn soul retrieval, heal past life trauma, evolve your energy systems, manifest consciously, channel, as well as learn practical hands-on healing techniques, and so much more.

In this time of the Divine Feminine rising, and as the Earth herself is going through a great shift, these tools are essential.

Read this testimony from my dear friend Martha:

“I initially resisted enrolling in the Heart Lotus Evolution program; I’ve taken a number of trainings over the years and felt like my toolbox was pretty full. Then I remembered what my private session with Marsha was like: such a broad offering of channelling, healing, releasing, reframing and even connecting with my dad who had passed away a year before.

The training offered guidance in all those practices but also healing and clearing for myself, an amazing upleveling of my own vibration, and a tremendous sense of community and safety in our circle. Marsha is a gifted and skilled teacher and healer; she met each of our needs with a generous and loving spirit along with her years of experience as a teacher and practitioner.

It was a profound, uplifting and inspiring experience.”

~Martha Williams, Founder of Soulfire Associates, Shamanic Practitioner, Yoga Instructor and Heart Lotus Evolution certified practitioner

Intrigued? Interested? For more information go to Marsha’s website marshastultz.com or email at marshas@maine.rr.com (you may also text at 207-653-8284)

WISE WOMEN (NOT*) TALKING
Honoring the Women (and Men) Who Came Before
Sunday, November 24th, 2024
Avalon Acres, 12:30-3:30 PM

Join us on Sunday, 11/24 for a very Special WWT as we build an Ancestor Altar, learn about the old tradition of a dumb supper, and take a guided journey to gather the wisdom of our lines

November. Ah, sweet Samhain. On November 1st, we enter the ‘dark half of the year.’ This heralds a time of slowing down, inner reflection and counting our blessings.

The leaves are now barely hanging on to their branches as if to ask: What are you clutching that holds no purpose for you now?

As wise women, we know we must LET GO for things to settle into their rich darkness, compost themselves and grow again come Spring.

November, then, seems like a perfect time to honor the Dead. In fact, I’m very much looking forward to my annual viewing of Coco on Friday night (11/01). “Dia de los Muertos” is a beloved holiday in Mexico and the Latin American countries. How often do you remember the stories your grandmother told you or the hymns your grandfather sang? What special “family tradition” do you recall with pride that your family incorporated into the upcoming holidays?

On Sunday, November 24th, we will have a slightly more formal circle so that we can take a “time out of time” moment and celebrate the blood and bone ancestors we came from. We will also create a table of our “gratitude” replete with family recipes, favorite dishes your family is fond of, or any other “special treat” that brings to mind family and home.

WHEN: Sunday, November 24th at Avalon Acres

TIME: 12:30-3:30 PM* [a little longer than usual]

WHAT TO BRING:

A dish to share that is somehow special to you: A family favorite, or a dish that was beloved by an ancestor.
Something that one of your ancestors made OR something that they gave you OR something that represents them (in your eyes)
A picture of an ancestor
Comfortable clothes for sitting in the barn and a camp chair that is comfortable
Your travel mug for hot tea or coffee, which I will provide

The farm table will be set with REAL CHINA–I am not messing around! In this vein, feel free to dress up a little, as if you were welcoming a dear family member to supper.

FMI: Email me! ninepillarshealing@gmail.com
To read more about what we do in this circle, check out my website page!

WATER HONORING RITUAL
PINE POINT BEACH, SCARBORO
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 10th at 1 PM

Join my dear friend and fellow shamanic practitioner, Amylia Jayne, to honor water, one of the four sacred elements!

We will create a medicine mandala on the beach with shells, driftwood and whatever we find. A brief discussion about the elements and their associated direction will follow, as well as the importance of doing ceremony outside and engaging in ritual with GAIA. Lastly, we will dance! And Sing! Welcoming the changing tides of the ocean and all her beings.

Amylia is a talented shamanic practitioner and newly accredited Journey Dance Facilitator. I have longed for a partner to conduct ceremony in public space, so that all may witness and “feel the vibe.” Come to witness or participate!

FMI, email me or text! This event is FREE!

(*Meet at 12:50 PM in the municipal parking lot of Pine Point–no need to RSVP, just come!)

(BELOW: Although you can’t see the ocean, this is me drumming up seals at Biddeford Pool. They came! Katy McLaren can attest! She was there!)

A PERFECT GIFT FOR THAT PERFECT INTROVERT:
The SWEET SUITE!

(what a deal!!!)

Are you looking to give that special someone “an experience,” something that you just can’t find on Amazon? Great! Avalon Acres has the perfect gift!

WINTER GETAWAY at the SWEET SUITE! For $275! (normally $400!)

2-night stay
Enlightened Energy Healing Session with Mary Katherine
Breakfast (Both Mornings!)

(Other sundries are optional: snow shoes, ceremonial fire, a bottle of wine waiting for you! Offer good for December of 2024, January of 2025, and February of 2025)

WOW! Book it now! This deal will fill up for week-end slots and the winter school vaca week!

FMI: email avalonacresofhollis@gmai.com

AND LASTLY…If it needs to be said, here it is:

Newsletter

Surviving or Thriving?

September 24, 2024September 24, 2024 Mary Katherine Spain

When I was 11, my dad got a new job. We left Siler City, North Carolina and moved to Greenville, North Carolina.

When I was 13, my dad got a new job. We left Greenville, North Carolina and moved to Macon, Georgia.

When I was 15, my dad got a new job. We left Macon, Georgia and moved to Woodstock, Virginia.

When I was 17, my dad got a new job. We left Woodstock, Virginia and moved to Hope Mills, North Carolina.

You might be thinking, “Wow, that must have been rough!” or “I wonder why they moved around so much” or even, “Yeah, my family moved a lot too–it stinks!” I can tell you it built no small amount of resentment and even animosity toward my dad, who was just doing what he knew how to do: survive (although I could hardly appreciate that at the time). In most instances, pay was better somewhere else; in at least one instance, his position was dissolved. For me, in all instances, it meant being the ‘new girl’ over and over, it meant being the new family in the neighborhood, it meant making friends I hoped I wouldn’t have to say goodbye to.

When my dad passed away in 1992, I was 20 years old. In fact, I was in the room with him when he died, as was my mom. We watched those labored, slow breaths as The Price Is Right blinged and binged in the background. I’ll never forget that most profound moment of revelation, the likes of which I had never had: get busy living or get busy dying. He was 55.

That’s why, only a few short months later, I moved 6 states away to Colorado, where I enrolled at Colorado State University. Is it every Eastcoast girl’s dream to grow your hair out, ditch the make-up and start prancing around barefoot in Colorado, the sweet trace of patchouli wafting in your wake? It was mine. The muscles in my legs took shape from hiking and mountain biking every chance I got. As my newly awakened “get busy living” mantra took root, I soaked up everything: new friends, love interests, books and writing, the delicious microbrews Colorado is known for, and even activism (I joined the Campus Women’s Alliance shortly after moving to Fort Collins). My friend and fellow English Major Stacey and I would often ditch our last class on Fridays and have a late lunch at a place called the Pickle Barrel, run by a couple of guys from New Jersey. It was the size of a broom closet, and they always had a line out the door.

My mom used to say that all that moving around made me adaptable, capable of being in any sort of company as well as holding my own in different kinds of conversations. I know she reads this, so I’m not talking out of school here: Mom, you are right! And I agree–it built a certain kind of confidence. But not the kind of confidence you might think.

What do I mean by that? In short, confidence can be birthed and cultivated by many different things. I feel that the way one experiences life can be boiled down to 2 different types of “beingness”: surviving and thriving. My “confidence” was born of needing to survive. Of course, on any given day, one could stumble and bumble their way between these two poles! Nothing is black and white.

What you know to be true, how you “hold yourself,” what credit or judgment you might give to yourself or someone else depends on if you are in a mindset of survival or thriving. Sometimes I like to call the thriving, “Thrumming,” because I like the symphonic rumble it brings to mind, like a well-oiled engine in a restored 1968 Mustang.

Between the time we moved away from Siler City and the time we moved to Hope Mills, I constantly asked myself: Is my hair straight enough, long enough, fun enough? Is my speech hip enough?Are we rich enough? Are my clothes cool enough? Do I have what it takes to get in the AP classes? Will they like me? Will they accept me? Will they talk shit about me?

Unfortunately, all that self-questioning and anxiety did not go away when I went off to college. Even the emancipated 21 year-old who drove into Fort Collins in her ‘81 Toyota Celica knew that making an impression–a good one!–meant survival.

In many ways, my situation is not unique. (Maybe all the moving around was-) But WE ALL DID SOMETHING to survive the hardships and trials of adolescence.

Can you check any of these boxes? How did you survive?

People pleaser (this can turn into a martyr complex as an adult)
Chameleon : I’ll be whatever you want me to be!
Isolationist/introvert/goth-girl: You think I suck? I don’t need you anyway
Repressed athlete in order to be a ‘pretty girl’
Repressed the blossoming woman who has sexual desires in order to be the goodie-goodie
Over-expressed the woman of desires/sexuality because, let’s face it, we women found out early that was powerful stuff
Became the Bully…learning early that ‘power over’ was the way of the patriarchy
Became the angry, tough girl to transmit ‘don’t fuck with me’ vibe
Over-ate, over-drank, over-did it to stuff the pain, fear, and confusion

I know I can check a few of those boxes.

Because this survivor mode gets activated in adolescence, it tends to stick with us. Adolescence =formative years. And we bring it into adulthood, unconsciously.

It wasn’t until recently that I realized the people pleaser inside of me is also the survivor. For years I’ve been trying to rehabilitate her. But SHE-WHO-MUST-BE-ACCEPTED is the one who actually survived 1982-1989 (and beyond!). I have to give her a high-five because, really, she might be the reason I’m still standing.

So, if you were looking at the above list and cringing, muttering to yourself, “Yeah, I did that, I was that, that was me,” it is a testament to your bad-ass warrior, your loyal soldier, your Team Captain. Don’t judge her/him/them.

Annnnnd: Is it time to set down the armor, the shield, the snarl? If you need a green light, here it is. You can take off the combat boots. You can sure as heck crawl out of those expensive Guess jeans and START TO THRIVE. You can DO FOR YOURSELF instead of somebody else. There’s actually no one to impress but YOU.

What grooves of survivorship are still with you?

Maybe your biggest bout of surviving didn’t happen 40 years ago, like mine did. Maybe you’re in the middle of surviving a divorce, a loss of perspective, an empty nest, an addiction. Survival can be your best friend until it’s time to part ways.

The Fall Equinox is a “threshold crossing” –we move from the playful, loud South Direction into the more contemplative, slower West Direction. The West is the land of the adult. The West shows us to take note of the beauty of the child (and adolescent) of summer and MAKE HER OURS AGAIN by becoming the responsible adult. That means becoming responsible for our emotional reality as well as for our actions…

Perhaps it’s also time to reflect on what types of survivorship are still “locked and loaded” inside of you that don’t need to be anymore.

What would it take to part ways with that old pal?

My Nester! The Flying Donkey. I’m probably about 7 years old here, in Siler City, NC

Newsletter

SOW, REAP, REPEAT

August 1, 2024 Mary Katherine Spain

*How are you feeding yourself this summer? Time to load up on the greens! Our Milkweed at Avalon is being throughly enjoyed by these soon-to-be monarchs!*

LUGHNASA GREETINGS FRIENDS!

The fires of Lughnasa, or “1st Harvest” as it is known in Ireland, Scotland and Wales, are about to be lit! Summer, for our ancient kin, was a time of WORK, of toiling under the hot sun, of praying to the weather gods or capital-G god (depending on what century-) to ensure rain would come. But by the first of August, they were ready to celebrate their hard work and start harvesting the ripening fruit! What a wonderful feeling it must have been for them: “Yah, we get to feed our families!”

There’s all kinds of work in the world, isn’t there? Some might think writing is ‘work’ too…and I suppose you’d be right. But as the old adage says: “Do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.” In other words, writing is not work for me. Nor is shamanic healing. Nor is teaching college students how to write more efficiently. Nor is holding the monthly circle we host here at Avalon, Wise Women Talking. Nor is watering all those plants…nor is harvesting! (now weeding: THAT’S WORK!)

But seriously: how many of us get to say we really, truly, LOVE our work? I spent YEARS not loving my work as a medical assistant at a big medical practice. Wow, was that stressful, mentally and emotionally draining, and a LOT OF OUTPUT. However, the doctor I worked for was one of the very best in his field, had patented endoscopic equipment, taught incoming fellows and made A LOT of people feel better. I’ll bet he didn’t see what he did in the world as work but rather why he was put on the Earth.

Is it that ‘work’ has a bad reputation? Might the meaning of work need to be re-cast? Work does not, should not make us miserable. But sometimes our “paycheck work” is not our passion; some of us must do our passion “on the side.” In fact, no matter what kind of work you do, sometimes you have to take one for the team and give up a cushy job for one with health insurance (or to be closer to an ailing parent, or find one where the kids can enjoy a better school system or, or, or-). Maybe you or your partner get ill and you have to stop working. This feels disempowering, even if you “hated” your job. Better to be WELL and go to a crappy job than get sick…and be forced to stay home.

We Americans spend a lot of time working. Working is highly valued in our country. God forbid you be “out of work” and get the glance of pity or, worse, judgment. Why do people automatically assume that if someone is “out of work,” they really must have done something bad. Only lazy people are out of work, right?

No! Really highly motivated, dedicated employees get dismissed or “canned” every day. There are a lot of endings happening right now, both in our personal lives as well as on a much broader scale. And most folks who “lose” a job could share a litany of explanations as to why this befell them. Even though the phenomenon of losing a job happens to nearly everyone, at some point, why do we feel so compelled to defend ourselves, to assert our value, skill, aptitude?

Because the workplace is where most of us gain our value, understand our purpose in the world. But there’s other kinds of work we are also contracted to do. Recently, I was instructed by one of my spirit guides about the nature of the “work you were sent here to do.” As someone who, at the ripe age of seventeen, vividly recalls crying on the bathroom floor at our home in Hope Mills, North Carolina, pray-screaming at God to please, please, please show me how I can serve you, I’ve always wondered what “my work” in the world was. However, Spirit does not paint you a crystal clear picture of how to serve your best self to the world–not at seventeen, nor at fifty-three.

The message I received about the work I was sent here to do went something like this: “All you need is inside of you, in your safe, soul place and in your heart. You can get trampled, pulled in and trapped in any number of narratives out there. But what is YOUR narrative? What is the treasure map of you leading you towards?”

What a wonderful invitation! We DO get to write our own stories! It is so easy to get pulled into someone else’s narrative, hoping to gain approval, acceptance, or even love. How many times did I get pulled into the narrative of a boyfriend, family member or even friend? I’m sure my intention was pure, likely “wanting to help.” But my spirit guide was saying: Let’s look at the map you HOLD, the one that your soul designed. What’s the storyline all about? What plot twists are coming up that might prove extraordinary?

We forget that being gifted a message such as this is ‘work’ too. I feel an obligation to “work the energy” of this revelation and to honor what my spirit teacher has shared with me. But: it feels like a lot of work to turn away from “dependable narratives!” For now, I’m trying to surrender to the wisdom I sense it holds. And to imagine that treasure map with me wherever I go!

If you feel like you’re struggling through your own narrative, make sure it’s YOUR narrative. Sometimes we need to change the story we’re telling ourselves–for it may be outdated, delinquent in its relevance, and even harmful for who the soul is trying to usher out into the world.

WARNING: when you start to tell yourself a new story about WHO YOU ARE, things on the outside will change. Some relationships may drop away; some habits will crisp up in the hot wind and blow off. You may even find yourself ready to quit a (reliable, financially solvent) job that just does not suit who you are anymore.

As Pam Gregory likes to say: Life is an inside job. Consider the work of the evolving soul. There’s no better work than that!! Surrender to the fact that all you NEED is INSIDE OF YOU.

Happy Lughnassa!
May abundance and harvest blessings find you…

Shine On, Mary Katherine