MAKING A FOLLY DOLLY
WHAT IS A FOLLY DOLLY?
A Folly Dolly is a doll that is an outward expression of your foibles and personal ‘follies.’ It can be constructed from scratch using fabric, thread, foam, pantyhose and other materials. You may also purchase a doll of some sort (dog toys, cheap dolls at the bargain stores, or even lightly used dolls from Goodwill could be substituted for making one from scratch).
WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF A FOLLY DOLLY?
A quick Google search on the definition of a folly is ‘lack of good sense’ and ‘foolishness.’ When we think about our less-than-desirable traits, a lot of judgement arises. The Folly Dolly works to help you embrace your shadow and love your foibles. When we outwardly name something that has been lurking in the shadow, that thing is brought out into the light of day, where we can familiarize ourselves with its energy and practice self-compassion every time we see the doll.
HOW DOES THE FOLLY DOLLY WORK?
As stated above [‘WHAT IS A FOLLY DOLLY?’], you can make your dolly from scratch (if you are crafty) or purchase a new or used doll and “retro-fit” it to your needs. I love making things, so the first time I did this, I stuffed foam into panty hose, made yellow hair from string, and even made my dolly a little outfit. The “stories” of my follies and foibles were then adorned onto the dolly. At the time, I was struggling with massive self-doubt and insecurity around not being good enough, among other narratives that were limiting my growth as a woman. So, I wrote those “stories” in black Sharpie on the doll: not good enough, low self-worth, unworthy of having a seat at the table, etc.
The point is to really get in touch with the specifics of self-judgment: what limiting stories are you telling yourself about yourself? If it is not feasible to write those words onto the doll, you could write them on pieces of paper and make her a little necklace with the paper, or make her ‘hair’ the streamers of paper.
WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY FOLLY DOLLY?
With familiarity comes acceptance. Because this ritual is ultimately to heal those parts in us we have a hard time accepting, place your folly dolly out in the open, where you will see her regularly. This could be on your night stand, or perhaps a bookshelf. Maybe you want to place your Folly Dolly on the mantle, a la ‘Elf on the Shelf.’ Or, design her a little pillowy throne for your altar. Anywhere that you will see her is great, and when you see her, you can say words of encouragement: “I love ALL of you, Folly Dolly!” or “I know you think you need to be perfect, but you really don’t have to. It’s not a prerequisite for love.” Maybe after a while she has a name (‘Fabulous Flo’) and eventually, it will be obvious that her duty in helping you accept all of you has come to its sacred close: burn her. Or, if you have built her out of natural fibers and materials, you could bury her.
The first Folly Dolly I made, I actually needed a witness for disposal. For reasons I cannot recall, I needed my Folly Dolly to go into the ocean, so I nestled her in a yogurt container and set her into the slurping waves on Willard Beach in South Portland, Maine. Because I did not (obviously) want a plastic yogurt container floating around in Mother Ocean, my friend Rebecca was there to witness the ritual and to retrieve the yogurt container (and she probably disposed of Folly Dolly for me as well-).
When you say your goodbyes, thank your Folly Dolly for all that she has carried and assure her that her job is done. Gratitude, as we know, opens the heart, and this in and of itself is healing.
If you have made your Folly Dolly with a group, it may be prudent to then dispose of the collection of Folly Dollies as a ceremony, with room to speak to how the exercise worked for you or how it altered your perceptions. As with all ceremony, there should be intention and sacred space setting before the circle commences.
Embodying the Divine Feminine 