I handed the package to the UPS lady. She had dyed black hair, a black shirt, and black-painted nails, and asked about the complicated address.
“Does the college name go first?”
I looked at her and smiled. “You’re asking me?”
She stared at the screen and went on to tell me that oftentimes, customers think she is an Amazon employee, or a postal worker. “I just click, click, and hope it reads it, ya know? I don’t know everything.”
I chuckled, out of courtesy, more than anything else. I was sending my best friend’s son, Daniel, a care package. He’s been at college for three weeks now. I just wanted to brighten his day, remembering all of the care packages my mom sent me at ECU.
“What’s in here?” she asked, still puzzling over the 5 lines of address.
“Poundcake. Golf balls.”
“Sounds like a party to me!” she snapped and we both busted out laughing. We chatted easily then, and all of a sudden, she blurted, “It’s taken it! We got the entire address in there now. Look.” She swiveled the screen around so I could read it.
“That’s awesome. Thank you!” I paid, headed out to my car for the long drive back to Hollis from South Portland. But something really strange delayed my commute: I broke down crying.
Sitting in my car, I didn’t know if I was having a panic attack or what. I could NOT STOP crying. There was a multitude of feelings, untethered as they were, and they came fast and furious: sadness over whether Daniel would even have a planet upon graduation (or a democracy), the lady’s exuberance about getting the address right (it’s the little things, eh?), the unending, unapologetic pain my body has been experiencing for (–fill in the blank here, I lost count for how long!), the people I miss, the things I WANT to do (if only I had more energy), and the ALL-STARS of this list: the “energy” of this time, eclipse season of 2025.
Yup, I could not “ground” enough to get my shit together. I clearly needed the cry, but was there something I needed to address? Did I leave the psychic gate open, and was doing someone else’s work? My heart was pounding, so I went back to thinking ‘panic attack,’ although I have only ever had one of those, about 20 years ago when I was training as a medical assistant.
I gripped the wheel, telling myself and the interior of my car: “Come on! You can do this!” But I couldn’t. I could not start the car, and I did not want to drive.
So I reached. I reached out to a real powerhouse of a woman, and a beloved friend. I knew she could talk me down or at least, admit that the cosmic storm was wreaking havoc with her stability as well. Misery loves company, doesn’t it? When someone else is struggling, your own struggle doesn’t feel quite as nasty.
However we didn’t just share struggle-stories. First of all, she let me wail and blubber. I felt like a baby! I’m sure most of what I said didn’t make any sense–it didn’t even to me! I told her some days, I feel like I am walking with the Ascended Masters and other days, I can hardly get out of bed. I told her that I was just sooooo tired: was it the busyness of the farm, my Airbnb guests, the flush of events and classes happening every single week-end, not to mention working full time? Was I getting “too old” for all of it? Or was it an emotional fatigue I couldn’t quite put my finger on?
She listened more than she talked, then offered her insights. Something she said to me that really stuck, I am working with and holding this morning: You can’t leave the 3-D reality, as it is our job to bring the energy and essence of the 5-D into this material world/plane of the 3-D. ASCENSION IS AN INSIDE JOB.
By the end of our conversation, we were talking about arthritis and all of the amazing dreams that are coming true–for both of us.
As Mel Robbins says, “No one is coming.” We take care of ourselves, and when we can’t, we call someone who cares. We pray. We sing, and we CRY! We must, we must, we must SURRENDER TO THE PROCESS of these crumbling realities because the more we clutch on to the old ways, behaviors, and paradigms, the more pain we will be in.
It is my opinion that our very definition of ‘human’ is being re-formed, and from an expansive place–not cultural, not ego-centric, and certainly not driven by law/government. It is stimulating the collective consciousness, which is actually UNITY consciousness and all it wants is: Love, Joy, Hope, Grace, Compassion, Creativity, Justice. The more people who can SURRENDER to this PROCESS instead of rubber-necking around the debris, the chaos, the interminable un-truths, the better off we will be.
Are you feeling like a big, long-awaited cry is coming on? If you are sensitive to energy, this is a time to let it GO THROUGH YOU. Other practices you can adopt are:
__Sitting under direct sunlight for 20 minutes each day
__Sitting on the ground
__Placing bare feet and bare hands on the Earth
__Sleeping
__Breathing/meditation
__Saying ‘no’ to externals that really do not interest you
__Finding a tree, or trees, that you admire and love and spending time there
__CRY–get it out!
__Movement of the body–dancing, yoga, qigong
AND: sometimes you just need to lose your shit. You need to stay in bed some mornings, call in sick. Being on the planet is HARD right now. No one in their right mind can deny it! I didn’t come here with an instruction manual on how to master life, did you? We are all doing the best that we can. I sense that, much like those communities that get hit with a flood, wild fire, or tornado and have to put all of their fears, prejudices, and judgment aside in order to LIVE, to get through to the next day, our new normal will be one that we BUILD TOGETHER BECAUSE WE HAVE TO.
A sanctified space follows a big purge.
Shine On, dear ones. You can call me and wail, btw.
Embodying the Divine Feminine 