I handed the package to the UPS lady. She had dyed black hair, a black shirt, and black-painted nails, and asked about the complicated address.
“Does the college name go first?”
I looked at her and smiled. “You’re asking me?”
She stared at the screen and went on to tell me that oftentimes, customers think she is an Amazon employee, or a postal worker. “I just click, click, and hope it reads it, ya know? I don’t know everything.”
I chuckled, out of courtesy, more than anything else. I was sending my best friend’s son, Daniel, a care package. He’s been at college for three weeks now. I just wanted to brighten his day, remembering all of the care packages my mom sent me at ECU.
“What’s in here?” she asked, still puzzling over the 5 lines of address.
“Poundcake. Golf balls.”
“Sounds like a party to me!” she snapped and we both busted out laughing. We chatted easily then, and all of a sudden, she blurted, “It’s taken it! We got the entire address in there now. Look.” She swiveled the screen around so I could read it.
“That’s awesome. Thank you!” I paid, headed out to my car for the long drive back to Hollis from South Portland. But something really strange delayed my commute: I broke down crying.
Sitting in my car, I didn’t know if I was having a panic attack or what. I could NOT STOP crying. There was a multitude of feelings, untethered as they were, and they came fast and furious: sadness over whether Daniel would even have a planet upon graduation (or a democracy), the lady’s exuberance about getting the address right (it’s the little things, eh?), the unending, unapologetic pain my body has been experiencing for (–fill in the blank here, I lost count for how long!), the people I miss, the things I WANT to do (if only I had more energy), and the ALL-STARS of this list: the “energy” of this time, eclipse season of 2025.
Yup, I could not “ground” enough to get my shit together. I clearly needed the cry, but was there something I needed to address? Did I leave the psychic gate open, and was doing someone else’s work? My heart was pounding, so I went back to thinking ‘panic attack,’ although I have only ever had one of those, about 20 years ago when I was training as a medical assistant.
I gripped the wheel, telling myself and the interior of my car: “Come on! You can do this!” But I couldn’t. I could not start the car, and I did not want to drive.
So I reached. I reached out to a real powerhouse of a woman, and a beloved friend. I knew she could talk me down or at least, admit that the cosmic storm was wreaking havoc with her stability as well. Misery loves company, doesn’t it? When someone else is struggling, your own struggle doesn’t feel quite as nasty.
However we didn’t just share struggle-stories. First of all, she let me wail and blubber. I felt like a baby! I’m sure most of what I said didn’t make any sense–it didn’t even to me! I told her some days, I feel like I am walking with the Ascended Masters and other days, I can hardly get out of bed. I told her that I was just sooooo tired: was it the busyness of the farm, my Airbnb guests, the flush of events and classes happening every single week-end, not to mention working full time? Was I getting “too old” for all of it? Or was it an emotional fatigue I couldn’t quite put my finger on?
She listened more than she talked, then offered her insights. Something she said to me that really stuck, I am working with and holding this morning: You can’t leave the 3-D reality, as it is our job to bring the energy and essence of the 5-D into this material world/plane of the 3-D. ASCENSION IS AN INSIDE JOB.
By the end of our conversation, we were talking about arthritis and all of the amazing dreams that are coming true–for both of us.
As Mel Robbins says, “No one is coming.” We take care of ourselves, and when we can’t, we call someone who cares. We pray. We sing, and we CRY! We must, we must, we must SURRENDER TO THE PROCESS of these crumbling realities because the more we clutch on to the old ways, behaviors, and paradigms, the more pain we will be in.
It is my opinion that our very definition of ‘human’ is being re-formed, and from an expansive place–not cultural, not ego-centric, and certainly not driven by law/government. It is stimulating the collective consciousness, which is actually UNITY consciousness and all it wants is: Love, Joy, Hope, Grace, Compassion, Creativity, Justice. The more people who can SURRENDER to this PROCESS instead of rubber-necking around the debris, the chaos, the interminable un-truths, the better off we will be.
Are you feeling like a big, long-awaited cry is coming on? If you are sensitive to energy, this is a time to let it GO THROUGH YOU. Other practices you can adopt are:
__Sitting under direct sunlight for 20 minutes each day
__Sitting on the ground
__Placing bare feet and bare hands on the Earth
__Sleeping
__Breathing/meditation
__Saying ‘no’ to externals that really do not interest you
__Finding a tree, or trees, that you admire and love and spending time there
__CRY–get it out!
__Movement of the body–dancing, yoga, qigong
AND: sometimes you just need to lose your shit. You need to stay in bed some mornings, call in sick. Being on the planet is HARD right now. No one in their right mind can deny it! I didn’t come here with an instruction manual on how to master life, did you? We are all doing the best that we can. I sense that, much like those communities that get hit with a flood, wild fire, or tornado and have to put all of their fears, prejudices, and judgment aside in order to LIVE, to get through to the next day, our new normal will be one that we BUILD TOGETHER BECAUSE WE HAVE TO.
A sanctified space follows a big purge.
Shine On, dear ones. You can call me and wail, btw.
Stillness is the key ! Allow the Fall Equinox 09/22/25 to help you balance in the “in-between”!
She had won the 2-night stay at Avalon in a silent auction. The proceeds were supporting an organization called YES, or Youth Enrichment Services in Boston, which offers youth the opportunity to have outdoor experiences that build confidence and gives those who might not be able to afford a ski pass or ski lesson the chance to participate in winter sports. My old friend, Gene, who lives and works in Dorchester, was helping organize the fundraiser, telling me his own kids had benefitted from many programs YES offered. He also asked me if I would donate a healing session on top of the “get-away” to the Sweet Suite. SURE! YES seemed like a great cause, and I’m always looking for places to promote the wild and wondrous lands of Avalon…
When Louisa showed up for her Maine week-end at Avalon, I’m sure she really did not know what to expect. As this was my first time hosting the “solo immersion retreat” neither did I! But I came up with a few things I thought might move her out of the active mind and busy pace of her CPA job and into some rest and relaxation at the farm.
On Friday, after arrival around 1 pm, I encouraged her to settle in, explore the trails, and roam the property. I also asked her to fill out the form, “Stating an Intention,” that I would be picking up at 8 PM that evening. Her healing session was scheduled for Saturday at 11 AM, followed by an afternoon of integration, where she could nap, read, go to the beach or whatever she wanted. Then, our ceremonial fire would be around 7 PM, after dinner.
One of the questions on the “Stating an Intention” worksheet was:
“A common icebreaker to introduce to a group of people who don’t know one another very well is to ask the group “Who would you invite to dinner?” Famous or not, alive or dead, you get to invite 5 people over for dinner. As someone who regularly communicates with nature and all of her beings, tell me the 5 aspects/spirits of nature you would like to have an enchanting night with. Are they all plants, birds, beasts, insects? Maybe there are trees and star constellations in attendance. Who would be your treasured guests, and why? List at least five.”
This was so awesome! I actively called in the nature beings, ie. “dinner guests” she wrote down for her healing session and throughout the week-end. I also loved hearing about her “why” as to the 5 she named. What did they mean to her? Was it a new curiosity, or childhood favorite?
Although I have stopped seeing one-on-one clients, I haven’t stopped doing energy work, and her healing session was very therapeutic for her. It also reminded me that I do LOVE the work! ( I just really needed a break in the WAY I was doing it). Because I knew she was getting extra juice from Avalon’s healing vibe, I was really excited she was only traveling by foot back to the Sweet Suite, not hoping in her car to drive!
Despatcho Caddy!
Speaking of the Sweet Suite, I had created a Despatcho caddy for her in the unit. A Despatcho is a ceremony where you make a prayer bundle (Despatcho) and either burn it or bury it. Items traditionally used are tobacco, cornmeal, dried flower petals, herbs, and the like. I found these “snack caddies” at Wal-Mart (!) and meticulously labeled all of the items in the little bins. I also included a ‘decoder’ for what the items represented, their healing qualities, and possible prayers one may say with them. Instructions for making the prayer bundle and how to prepare your mind for prayerful engagement were also included.
I asked Louisa to make the bundle prior to Saturday’s fire ceremony, where we would place the bundle in the sacred flames together. She loved it so much, she made two, and took one home to place on her new altar. Our fire ceremony was sweet and soulful, and the energy of the evening felt settled, safe and nourishing.
In the morning, my plan was to have a final council: sit with a story of her week-end, then reflect it back to her using the images, discoveries, and insights we had been exploring all week-end. But, she had tickets for a musical down in Portsmouth with her boyfriend and his family, so she got on the road pretty early.
After some reflection about how I would do this next time (and what I would charge), I realized that part of our mission here at Avalon (and Nine Pillars’ mission, too-) is to help pull the veil back, away from the mundane, away from the busy monkey-mindedness in order to help people re-capture their best selves, and to maybe glimpse something of what the soul is truly longing for. I know my work in the world is stitched into this kind of immersive experience–and that is one reason why I really did not want to offer the 2-hr sessions anymore. I want people to have an experience that will linger with them; some of you may say that my healing sessions have lingered but facilitating the power of ritual (Despatcho), of ceremony (fire), of the Spirit BATH one receives from just being at Avalon is where my calling is now. This was a multi-layered immersion, something my high-self has been trying to put into motion at Avalon for a while. I did it!
I also had a very willing guest! She even wanted to join me in my Saturday morning “powering up” by dancing the Medicine Wheel with me. She was a great hula-hooper! I did provide coffee, tea, two lite breakfasts and snacks for her in the Sweet Suite. She was on her own for other meals.
What has your YES brought to your shores? For me, saying YES to YES (the organization!) brought me a wonderful, willing sojourner who gave me the invaluable gift of feedback. Relishing my own experience, what I learned, and the gift of true connection with Lousia not only enriched my week-end and blessed Avalon, but this will inform next steps for how I’d like to offer this experience in the future.
I am so proud of the work I do. Lughnasa is an excellent time to remind ourselves of our strengths, our ‘best selves’ that we can offer the world. Although not encouraged in our world these days, the ancient Celts took boasting to an artform at Lughnasa. Part levity, part competition, it was celebrated and encouraged to boast, maybe even embellish your greatest gifts.
What we focus on, expands. So why not focus on the best parts of you?
Shine On,
PS. If you’d like to book a week-end retreat at Avalon to experience the immersion I’ve described here, I have one week-end left in September and two in October. The energetic exchange is $350 (or, $300 without the guided fire ceremony).
FEATURED EVENT:
“Embodied and Emboldened: Becoming an Intentional Human”
Saturday, September 27th and Oct 18th
Nature Wander Immersion and WORKSHOP:
Intention: To become an emboldened, embodied, intentional adult who understands her medicine and is ready to give it to the community by reclaiming the contours of self and soul and who has a curiosity about how to show up in a world which has dominated and distorted the soul’s energetics for way too long
ENGAGE WITH SOUL 8:30 AM–11:30 AM
Wander the land of Avalon to re-discover what story your soul is holding and how you might engage with it throughout the day. As you walk with the wild world, make inquiries as to how you, too, can become your most awakened self; fasting encouraged but not required
~Pls enjoy your bagged lunch from 11:30–12:30~
REFLECT WITH SELF 12:30 PM–1:30 PM
Honor the voices of soul you heard on the land by calling up the MAKER of you. Reflect in your journal through poetry, drawing or other forms of creation. Make a mandala on the earth, collage the story of your morning with images. Paint, sing or even dance the wisdom you received. Some art supplies will be provided but feel free to bring your own
~break 1:30 PM– 1:45 PM~
CONNECT IN COMMUNITY 1:45 PM-4 PM
Discover how the distilled pieces of soul and self dance together and are best served in the community. Here’s where we carry the “emboldened” self and soul into the world. You will be guided to make a covenant with yourself in service to your discoveries of truth and share with the group in council the ways you intend to apply your medicine
*THIS IS AN ALL-DAY EVENT. We will be sharing, revealing, honoring the TRUTH that arises in each of us. If you have been wondering where your passion or purpose has gone, this event is for you! But please do recognize it is crafted with the integrity to go deeply into the authentic places of self and soul that need (and deserve) tending.
*SLIDING SCALE: $50–$65; Venmo, PayPal cash or check by 09/12 (for 09/27) and 10/03 (for 10/18)
I downloaded this image many moons ago from the internet. If you zoom in, you can read the artist’s name. This image reminds me of the woman I am INSIDE, on her best day. It’s a good thing to have a “high self” you’re always striving towards…and never forgetting about.
Hello and Happy Samhain to You!
As we enter the “Dark Half of the Year” [OCT 31-MAY 1st], or simply ‘winter,’ we are called at this time to slow down. We relish, maybe even take pride in the full sentence of “No, thank you” [I need to rest, be by myself, do nothing]. We tug and then gently pull the threads of gratitude and thinking-about-what-matters through our prayer shawl.
What prayers are you muttering over the wool? Is it for community, for love to prevail? Maybe you are calling in your tribe to weather the change…maybe you just want things to settle down.
As I tee-up this most profound essay written by my dear friend and teacher, Lucille Meltz, I want to invite everyone who reads this newsletter to know that ultimately, we are all responsible for the quality of our relationships, the health of the planet, the cleanliness of our water, and the mental, intellectual and physical health of our children. Prayers for a brighter world are great but it takes action, too. Calls to action can be found anywhere, if you’re looking and listening. For this newsletter, I am gladly handing over my usual space to Lucille who, indeed, is calling out to each of us.
A brief introduction: Lucille is an author, an intuitive guide and the owner of Touch The Soul Life Coaching. She also performs hand analysis and is a dedicated protector of the natural world. Her writing over the years has brought me much joy, inspiration and a few tears and that is why I am so thrilled to offer you her insights this month.
In the essay below, she shares but a small snippet albeit a powerful one of her experience living through the recent hurricane that ravaged the Western Mountains of North Carolina. This area of my beloved home state is a soul home if there ever was one. It took me about 5 times to get through this essay, so you’ve been forewarned: Get your box of tissues and read on.
From Lucille:
Hurricane Helene has been a powerful teacher.
Living in the aftermath of a natural disaster in the mountains of Western North Carolina brings me to a deep reflection of all that was, all that is yet to be, and all that we may still need to learn.
The first hit of this unprecedented storm with torrential rainfalls of up to 30 inches and gale force 90 plus mph winds, causing thousands of ancient towering trees to crash over roadways, cars and homes, was all a devastatingly sudden shock. Buildings, streets, houses, steel and concrete bridges, interstates and all manner of roads and driveways washed out in a flash destroying lives, homes, businesses and all security for untold numbers of residents in mountain towns. And then there were the hundreds of terrifying monstrous landslides whose sound and roar alone traumatized so many, if they were fortunate enough to survive.
The power and terrorizing drama of this epic event has been dubbed by many as one of Biblical proportions.
Now, weeks later, as life resumes and each of us attempts to rebuild “normal”, the process of recovery begins. But what does that look like?
How do we learn from our experience on the most profound level?
The days immediately after the storm with virtually no or little cell communication, with all power and internet out, no refrigeration for perishable food, no hot water or no water at all, none of us could count on outside help. Fire and police rescue were already overloaded, barely able to handle life and death emergencies. We could not reach family in or out of the state.
Without our neighbors, many of whom, pre-storm, were almost strangers, life would have been impossible.
In my small condo complex, as the storm ended, people wandered hesitantly outdoors to survey the now almost unrecognizable landscape and immediately reached out to one another. “Are you OK?” “What do you need?” were the questions I heard over and over during those first post storm days.
One neighbor with an outdoor grill bringing a cooked breakfast to another who had no food in the house. Another chasing down and dragging back all the lost recycling and trash bins dangerously close to floating away in the nearby creek. Several of us mopping up the flooded living room of a single neighbor. Many of us checking on the slightly disabled elder resident whose doorway was blocked by an enormous downed tree. A new resident who I had never met knocking on my door to offer me a spare phone charger because she had heard I did not have one. Those with any extra cash giving or loaning it to others without funds, as we all struggled in a new cash only society, with all banks closed.
Simple, kind, helping deeds and reminders that we were not alone.
We shared meals, rides, checking in on one another about family missing or trapped in other parts of the mountains. Tears were frequent, but so were hugs, and surprisingly enough, at times, even laughter.
In the midst of a total lack of security, many of us forged a new community without regard for age, political values, lifestyle or religious beliefs. It was a terrifying time of uncertainty and yet, also, of saving connections that still lives in my heart as we all seek to return to a more settled life.
And as I now walk my once beautifully tree lined neighborhood, I am deeply saddened by the sight of the gigantic corpses and chopped up remnants of dozens of majestic gigantic oaks and pines that had graced our walkways. The vacuum created by their destruction fills me with a sorrow for their hundreds of years of life, gone in a whiplash, and destroying, with their lives, the habitats of countless birds and land based creatures.
My grief is not only for our human habitat. We share a planet with a bountiful number of beings who also now feel the tragic impact of this unprecedented event.
As human neighbors we came together to survive and assist one another in that survival. Now, individually and collectively, as we look to rebuild, what and how are we rebuilding? What qualities and provisions do we cultivate and store within and without, to create a more complete, prepared future for what may yet come for all of us, every living being?
None of what Hurricane Helene brought us should have been a surprise. On varied levels, through estimates and warnings by countless scientists, we have been told for decades of the process of climate change, what it means, and how it will increase and intensify hurricanes, floods, wildfires, tornadoes, all manner of natural disasters. And for those of us tuned into it, astrological, psychic predictions and Biblical prophecies have been forewarning us of these times.
We are no longer living in the times of warnings.The future is now; it has arrived.
As our outer landscape has been ravaged, we are being called to cultivate the awareness of our inner landscape, our emotional and spiritual patterns needed to guide us forward.
Almost three weeks after the storm I continually hear of the strength of WNC communities who put aside all differences to help one another. This alone may be one of the most important lessons of our lives. It is the essence of who we are, the primal need to help and support one another. It is the basic power of love that we have been taught in various faiths and beliefs systems, a universal truth. And it may be what saves our world.
While I stood in three hour long grocery lines and waited in mile-long gas lines, a quality which I immediately observed was patience. No one rushed anyone. No one rushed at all. Customers leaving the market routinely walked up and down the long waiting lines to offer their now empty carts to strangers. Store employees cruised the same lines offering bottled water at a time when it was a precious commodity. Phones were barely working, so interpersonal communication surged, smiles happened and all the waiting times felt infinitely shorter.
One of the most delightful events I witnessed was seeing so many children playing outside, biking, running, laughing, engaging in free form physical activity. Schools were closed, phones pretty much useless and kids became kids again. Never had I known that there were so many children in my neighborhood! Nor had I ever seen so many hikers, bike riders, dog walkers, and joggers.
The outdoors, decimated as it felt, called to all of us and we felt not just the refreshing calming peace of sunshine, but the common experience of being together, of all of us having survived a singular disaster.
Patience during a common shared catastrophe built kinder, more united communities in the wake of Helene. Also, compassionate understanding for the fears we all faced. Empathy for those who suffered with us. These are the qualities that reside deep within each of us and surface when we allow ourselves to let go of differences.
Helene is asking us: Why did you have to wait for me to come along to actually exhibit those qualities wholeheartedly, without restraint?
Do we have to keep reliving our fears to remember a basic spiritual tenet, that we are all one?
How and when do we universally acknowledge that patience, compassionate understanding and empathy also are needed by those who do not belong to the human race, but suffer along with us on our shared planet?
In the midst of survival tasks of finding food, caring for another and seeking safety, there is no thought of yesterday’s sorrows or tomorrow’s agenda. The spiritual concept of being present, living in the now is all there is. It becomes essential to focus on only the task at hand, and in doing so, a sense of peace and calm prevails.
Like so many Helene survivors,I am already gathering physical supplies for future possible disasters. My own consciousness has shifted dramatically in truly recognizing that the scientific predictions and prophecies are playing out right now. That is all important but my greatest, most valuable preparation is from within.
Here in the mountains of Western North Carolina, Helene has come to teach us that the tools of survival are not confined to the physical plane.
Finding peace in the midst of the storm requires first tapping into the peace reserve within our hearts and spirits. All the spiritual practices I have practiced and used for over 45 years served me in more profoundly effective ways than my ice cooler or my flashlights. My decades of meditation, practicing gratitude, positive affirmations, daily prayers, utilizing and expanding my intuition, tuning into nature and offerings of unconditional love are what kept me centered as the chaos swirled around me. And when the almost paralyzing fear arose, as it did for each of us in differing ways, I was usually able to separate out from my ego and seek a place of quiet inner contemplation to recharge and continue on.
My intention post-Helene is not just to stock up on solar lanterns. It is to plunge deeper into my own reserve of spiritual development, to explore and increase my own light within.
Helene has forged an awareness of the strength of my inner landscape, as it has for all who have come together in community, sharing resources, ingenuity, support, helping hands, supplies, sorrow, hopes, and especially, love.
Is it conceivable, in a world of ever increasing catastrophes, that if we actually learn and embrace the lessons that Helene has offered us, we may not need the teachings of more catastrophes? Is it possible that we can defy all the predictions and as an inner and outer connected species, uniting in love and acceptance, we might create a universal conscious energy of light instead of more darkness?
Might we redefine our survival?
~Lucille Meltz, October, 2024
FEATURED PRACTITIONER: MARSHA STULTZ and the HEART LOTUS EVOLUTION
The Heart Lotus Evolution certification program is a deep and powerful transformational process that will change your life. HLE is the original work of Marsha Stultz, having mined her 30-year career of being an energy healer in order to develop it. She works closely with her guides, and they have taught and advised her well. This 12-day program is offered in 6 weekends over 6 months January-June for healers, artists, parents and anyone ready to transform. It begins in January of 2025.
Based in quantum science, this training is for women and provides techniques to over-ride past programming and let go of old unhealthy patterns. In a safe and nurturing environment, you will learn to: shift to 5th dimensional energy, heal wounded inner child aspects, create paradigm shifts in thinking and living, release thought forms others project on to you, shed limiting belief systems, learn soul retrieval, heal past life trauma, evolve your energy systems, manifest consciously, channel, as well as learn practical hands-on healing techniques, and so much more.
In this time of the Divine Feminine rising, and as the Earth herself is going through a great shift, these tools are essential.
Read this testimony from my dear friend Martha:
“I initially resisted enrolling in the Heart Lotus Evolution program; I’ve taken a number of trainings over the years and felt like my toolbox was pretty full. Then I remembered what my private session with Marsha was like: such a broad offering of channelling, healing, releasing, reframing and even connecting with my dad who had passed away a year before.
The training offered guidance in all those practices but also healing and clearing for myself, an amazing upleveling of my own vibration, and a tremendous sense of community and safety in our circle. Marsha is a gifted and skilled teacher and healer; she met each of our needs with a generous and loving spirit along with her years of experience as a teacher and practitioner.
It was a profound, uplifting and inspiring experience.”
~Martha Williams, Founder of Soulfire Associates, Shamanic Practitioner, Yoga Instructor and Heart Lotus Evolution certified practitioner
Intrigued? Interested? For more information go to Marsha’s website marshastultz.com or email at marshas@maine.rr.com (you may also text at 207-653-8284)
WISE WOMEN (NOT*) TALKING Honoring the Women (and Men) Who Came Before Sunday, November 24th, 2024 Avalon Acres, 12:30-3:30 PM
Join us on Sunday, 11/24 for a very Special WWT as we build an Ancestor Altar, learn about the old tradition of a dumb supper, and take a guided journey to gather the wisdom of our lines
November. Ah, sweet Samhain. On November 1st, we enter the ‘dark half of the year.’ This heralds a time of slowing down, inner reflection and counting our blessings.
The leaves are now barely hanging on to their branches as if to ask: What are you clutching that holds no purpose for you now?
As wise women, we know we must LET GO for things to settle into their rich darkness, compost themselves and grow again come Spring.
November, then, seems like a perfect time to honor the Dead. In fact, I’m very much looking forward to my annual viewing of Coco on Friday night (11/01). “Dia de los Muertos” is a beloved holiday in Mexico and the Latin American countries. How often do you remember the stories your grandmother told you or the hymns your grandfather sang? What special “family tradition” do you recall with pride that your family incorporated into the upcoming holidays?
On Sunday, November 24th, we will have a slightly more formal circle so that we can take a “time out of time” moment and celebrate the blood and bone ancestors we came from. We will also create a table of our “gratitude” replete with family recipes, favorite dishes your family is fond of, or any other “special treat” that brings to mind family and home.
WHEN: Sunday, November 24th at Avalon Acres
TIME: 12:30-3:30 PM* [a little longer than usual]
WHAT TO BRING:
A dish to share that is somehow special to you: A family favorite, or a dish that was beloved by an ancestor.
Something that one of your ancestorsmade OR something that they gave you OR something that represents them (in your eyes)
A picture of an ancestor
Comfortable clothes for sitting in the barn and a camp chair that is comfortable
Your travel mug for hot tea or coffee, which I will provide
The farm table will be set with REAL CHINA–I am not messing around! In this vein, feel free to dress up a little, as if you were welcoming a dear family member to supper.
WATER HONORING RITUAL PINE POINT BEACH, SCARBORO SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 10th at 1 PM
Join my dear friend and fellow shamanic practitioner, Amylia Jayne, to honor water, one of the four sacred elements!
We will create a medicine mandala on the beach with shells, driftwood and whatever we find. A brief discussion about the elements and their associated direction will follow, as well as the importance of doing ceremony outside and engaging in ritual with GAIA. Lastly, we will dance! And Sing! Welcoming the changing tides of the ocean and all her beings.
Amylia is a talented shamanic practitioner and newly accredited Journey Dance Facilitator. I have longed for a partner to conduct ceremony in public space, so that all may witness and “feel the vibe.” Come to witness or participate!
(BELOW: Although you can’t see the ocean, this is me drumming up seals at Biddeford Pool. They came! Katy McLaren can attest! She was there!)
A PERFECT GIFT FOR THAT PERFECT INTROVERT: The SWEET SUITE!
(what a deal!!!)
Are you looking to give that special someone “an experience,” something that you just can’t find on Amazon? Great! Avalon Acres has the perfect gift!
WINTER GETAWAY at the SWEET SUITE! For $275! (normally $400!)
2-night stay
Enlightened Energy Healing Session with Mary Katherine
Breakfast (Both Mornings!)
(Other sundries are optional: snow shoes, ceremonial fire, a bottle of wine waiting for you! Offer good for December of 2024, January of 2025, and February of 2025)
WOW! Book it now! This deal will fill up for week-end slots and the winter school vaca week!
When I was 11, my dad got a new job. We left Siler City, North Carolina and moved to Greenville, North Carolina.
When I was 13, my dad got a new job. We left Greenville, North Carolina and moved to Macon, Georgia.
When I was 15, my dad got a new job. We left Macon, Georgia and moved to Woodstock, Virginia.
When I was 17, my dad got a new job. We left Woodstock, Virginia and moved to Hope Mills, North Carolina.
You might be thinking, “Wow, that must have been rough!” or “I wonder why they moved around so much” or even, “Yeah, my family moved a lot too–it stinks!” I can tell you it built no small amount of resentment and even animosity toward my dad, who was just doing what he knew how to do: survive (although I could hardly appreciate that at the time). In most instances, pay was better somewhere else; in at least one instance, his position was dissolved. For me, in all instances, it meant being the ‘new girl’ over and over, it meant being the new family in the neighborhood, it meant making friends I hoped I wouldn’t have to say goodbye to.
When my dad passed away in 1992, I was 20 years old. In fact, I was in the room with him when he died, as was my mom. We watched those labored, slow breaths as The Price Is Right blinged and binged in the background. I’ll never forget that most profound moment of revelation, the likes of which I had never had: get busy living or get busy dying. He was 55.
That’s why, only a few short months later, I moved 6 states away to Colorado, where I enrolled at Colorado State University. Is it every Eastcoast girl’s dream to grow your hair out, ditch the make-up and start prancing around barefoot in Colorado, the sweet trace of patchouli wafting in your wake? It was mine. The muscles in my legs took shape from hiking and mountain biking every chance I got. As my newly awakened “get busy living” mantra took root, I soaked up everything: new friends, love interests, books and writing, the delicious microbrews Colorado is known for, and even activism (I joined the Campus Women’s Alliance shortly after moving to Fort Collins). My friend and fellow English Major Stacey and I would often ditch our last class on Fridays and have a late lunch at a place called the Pickle Barrel, run by a couple of guys from New Jersey. It was the size of a broom closet, and they always had a line out the door.
My mom used to say that all that moving around made me adaptable, capable of being in any sort of company as well as holding my own in different kinds of conversations. I know she reads this, so I’m not talking out of school here: Mom, you are right! And I agree–it built a certain kind of confidence. But not the kind of confidence you might think.
What do I mean by that? In short, confidence can be birthed and cultivated by many different things. I feel that the way one experiences life can be boiled down to 2 different types of “beingness”: surviving and thriving. My “confidence” was born of needing to survive. Of course, on any given day, one could stumble and bumble their way between these two poles! Nothing is black and white.
What you know to be true, how you “hold yourself,” what credit or judgment you might give to yourself or someone else depends on if you are in a mindset of survival or thriving. Sometimes I like to call the thriving, “Thrumming,” because I like the symphonic rumble it brings to mind, like a well-oiled engine in a restored 1968 Mustang.
Between the time we moved away from Siler City and the time we moved to Hope Mills, I constantly asked myself: Is my hair straight enough, long enough, fun enough? Is my speech hip enough?Are we rich enough? Are my clothes cool enough? Do I have what it takes to get in the AP classes? Will they like me? Will they accept me? Will they talk shit about me?
Unfortunately, all that self-questioning and anxiety did not go away when I went off to college. Even the emancipated 21 year-old who drove into Fort Collins in her ‘81 Toyota Celica knew that making an impression–a good one!–meant survival.
In many ways, my situation is not unique. (Maybe all the moving around was-) But WE ALL DID SOMETHING to survive the hardships and trials of adolescence.
Can you check any of these boxes? How did you survive?
People pleaser (this can turn into a martyr complex as an adult)
Chameleon : I’ll be whatever you want me to be!
Isolationist/introvert/goth-girl: You think I suck? I don’t need you anyway
Repressed athlete in order to be a ‘pretty girl’
Repressed the blossoming woman who has sexual desires in order to be the goodie-goodie
Over-expressed the woman of desires/sexuality because, let’s face it, we women found out early that was powerful stuff
Became the Bully…learning early that ‘power over’ was the way of the patriarchy
Became the angry, tough girl to transmit ‘don’t fuck with me’ vibe
Over-ate, over-drank, over-did it to stuff the pain, fear, and confusion
I know I can check a few of those boxes.
Because this survivor mode gets activated in adolescence, it tends to stick with us. Adolescence =formative years. And we bring it into adulthood, unconsciously.
It wasn’t until recently that I realized the people pleaser inside of me is also the survivor. For years I’ve been trying to rehabilitate her. But SHE-WHO-MUST-BE-ACCEPTED is the one who actually survived 1982-1989 (and beyond!). I have to give her a high-five because, really, she might be the reason I’m still standing.
So, if you were looking at the above list and cringing, muttering to yourself, “Yeah, I did that, I was that, that was me,” it is a testament to your bad-ass warrior, your loyal soldier, your Team Captain. Don’t judge her/him/them.
Annnnnd: Is it time to set down the armor, the shield, the snarl? If you need a green light, here it is. You can take off the combat boots. You can sure as heck crawl out of those expensive Guess jeans and START TO THRIVE. You can DO FOR YOURSELF instead of somebody else. There’s actually no one to impress but YOU.
What grooves of survivorship are still with you?
Maybe your biggest bout of surviving didn’t happen 40 years ago, like mine did. Maybe you’re in the middle of surviving a divorce, a loss of perspective, an empty nest, an addiction. Survival can be your best friend until it’s time to part ways.
The Fall Equinox is a “threshold crossing” –we move from the playful, loud South Direction into the more contemplative, slower West Direction. The West is the land of the adult. The West shows us to take note of the beauty of the child (and adolescent) of summer and MAKE HER OURS AGAIN by becoming the responsible adult. That means becoming responsible for our emotional reality as well as for our actions…
Perhaps it’s also time to reflect on what types of survivorship are still “locked and loaded” inside of you that don’t need to be anymore.
What would it take to part ways with that old pal?
My Nester! The Flying Donkey. I’m probably about 7 years old here, in Siler City, NC
Embodying the Divine Feminine 