writing – Embodying the Divine Feminine

SILVER LINING OF SICKNESS

December 16, 2025 Mary Katherine Spain

On November 21st, I tested positive for Covid–for the first time EVER!

For some reason, my immune system has resisted the coronavirus (or all of her mutations-) all these years we have been aware, and living with, Covid. But I guess my luck was up! In addition to not being able to attend the family Thanksgiving gathering with my in-laws, I wasn’t really hungry enough to eat the yummy leftovers Michael brought home for me.

And that wasn’t my only low point during my ‘bout’ with Covid. Not by a long shot…

…but sometimes the low-point IS THE POINT.

It’s just too easy, isn’t it, to feel sorry for yourself when you’re sick. The pity-party gets rocked up to the next level. ALSO: No wonder we were all masked and isolated–Covid is NO JOKE! I have never been so sick in my life! Maybe when I had Scarlett fever as a child, but I don’t remember that.

You know the drill: NyQuil, sleep, hack, pray for some breathing apparatus to appear by your bedside when you wake up. Calling out for “More juice!” down the stairs to Michael. Moaning for the pounding headache to subside. The PILES of used Kleenex on the bedside table. Magazines, books, and more YouTube videos than you thought your eyeballs could possibly handle watching. Sometimes I would text Michael passive aggressive texts from upstairs: “Are you home?” which really meant ‘I need something.’ Poor Molly got instituted real quick as my emotional support animal. I wondered if my liver or kidneys were shutting down from all of the dextromethorphan in the NyQuil.

Rinse, repeat. And on it went for four days.

When our bodies weaken, so do our minds, and spirits. One feels strung out, defeated, even depressed. Ennui creeps in, and then maybe you go a little deeper, maybe you go to the Dark Place: Who Loves Me? What’s It All For?

It is hard to look on the bright side when you feel like crappola. But there is a silver lining down there in the cellar: when you are struggling in mind, body, spirit and soul, you are compelled to ask the harder questions of yourself. Shadow arises more easily because you don’t have your defenses up; there are no protectors of the ego in the house. Those ego-loyalists are out to lunch, possibly out of the country–they are not interested in listening to the harder questions the defenseless self asks.

These ideas and perceptions are the edge I was walking. Ideas–both creative and self-lacerating–were coming to the surface to be dealt with. As I wallowed in the bed, I had to make peace with those edgy shadow dwellers. But how?

It all started with a Facebook post. SHOCKING, I know! If you’ve never gotten triggered by a Facebook post before, you probably aren’t on Facebook. One thing I know for sure about Facebook: if you are in a great mood, you don’t even check it. If you are in a good mood, you might be mildly amused by your feed’s content or pleasantly distracted for a bit. If you are in a bad mood, say, when you are sick, chances are you might get triggered by something you see or pissed off by something someone posts.

Just saying.

And so it was with me. I noticed that an acquaintance who I had been in a training with a while back was offering a very interesting 4-day retreat for women. It looked like one of these “re-wilding” events, a chance to resurrect our primal selves, paint ourselves with mud and drum under a full moon. In other words, it looked like something I SHOULD be offering. Tempted to sign up myself, I became fixated on ‘why’ I wasn’t doing more of ‘these kinds of events’ at Avalon. I could carry this off! What was so great about so-and-so, when we probably have very similar skills…

Then I went to the Dark Place: You will never be so-and-so because you have to split yourself between the Professor Spain life at UNE and Lady-of-the-Manse life at Avalon. You can’t be FULLY either, and so you suck at both.

Ok, yes, it was easy to go to the dark place because I had been lurking in the waiting room of the dark place for a few days. Finally I was in! Thanks Covid! I was at the Big Show of Shadow, and I was spiraling.

Having one foot in one world and one foot in the other, I was convinced it was my job somehow to carry a sense of fracturedness. (For those of you keeping score at home, this was the “stop at the Martyr Hotel” of the darkness walk). It wasn’t long before I started resenting being the one in the family who had to carry the health insurance, and therefore maintain the health insurance JOB, i.e., my UNE job! *Mind you, Michael did this for us for SEVERAL years as I did not get jack-diddly in terms of insurance as an adjunct professor…

I’ll save you more details of the spiral, but believe me: It wasn’t pretty. At least I was stuck in bed and so didn’t project my nonsense onto anyone in my life. Thankfully, after I just could not stand myself anymore, I was ready to listen.

My defenseless self was willing to listen to what the Mighty Magi of Shadow needed me to tell me, and it went something like this:

“First of all, little darlin, if you wanted to be so-and-so and howl at the moon for four days with the MANY friends and shamanistas that you know, YOU COULD. You could do that!

But is that what you want? Because if it was, you’d be doing that.

And health insurance not-withstanding, you’re actually an intellectual. Oh I know you love to imagine that you are channeling Morgan LeFay here at Avalon but you also wanted to go to college at U-Mass Amherst because you really, really loved Emily Dickinson, because you loved poetry. You LOVE WORDS, and what you can make of them. So don’t poo-poo your dependable, conventional job at the university. PLEASE!

And another thing: what is so wrong with doing both? You call it ‘being fractured’ but isn’t it being multi-talented? Multi-interested? Couldn’t you just see it as being dynamic?

I’m here to remind you: You are someone who needs to do things her own way, in form and fashion that does NOT follow the ways and trends of others. You choke on the words “being a follower”–a fate worse than death. No, no! You can’t copy anyone’s style, or offerings!

So if you are really all that unhappy about how you’re showing up in the world, only you can change that. But just so you know: you generally birth the creations that come to you. You share the inspirations that run through you, and most generously.

You are the intellectual, AND you are the wild woman of the woods. Your words can cast spells as easily as your high ceremonies. You actually are free to do either, or both, or none. Nobody’s stopping you.”

I AM BOTH, I realized. I DO need to be original! The silver lining of sickness: feeling powerless strips you of artifice; not having the regular conditioning plugged in about how you go about your day, your perspective gets shifted.

Covid facilitated an unexpected trip to the underworld I needed, a moment of getting triggered, in order to access the space of the internal world– what a gift!

When you feel great, everything’s great. When you are knocked on your ass, you have to deal with yourself, your weaknesses, your shadow, your warts, your bruises.

Can we be kind to ourselves, when we are stumbling around down there in the cellar?

Christmas time is a time of giving. It feels good to give gifts, to spend a little extra on food and drink, to treat your loved ones to something special. But please do not forget that holiday time can also be a time of triggers, of old hurts resurfacing, even of coveting. If you feel yourself going to the Dark Place, there might be some auspicious wise counselors down there. If this happens this holiday season, my wish for you is to have the courage to hear them out.

And please, please, be gentle with yourself as you listen.

Shine On,
Mary Katherine

FEATURED EVENT:
FORGING THE FIRE WITH BRIGID
Sunday, February 1st, 2026
1 PM- 4 PM
Avalon Acres
Suggested Donation: $20
(This is a FUNDRAISER for Through These Doors*)

Join me and my dear friend and fellow shamanic practitioner, Kristi for a special day spent mostly outside learning the ways of Brigid, the Celtic Goddess of Healing, Smithcraft, and Poetry.

Please consider what empowers you FROM THE INSIDE. External validation is subjective–how are you forging your internal passions? The more joy we generate by doing what truly feeds us, the brighter our lights shine.

Calling on CREATION that is the SPARK of the Divine Flame Within, we will build an outdoor altar to Brigid, hold a Witness and Reveal circle, and speak to what hopes we have for a fruitful, abundant year.

This event is a FUNDRAISER for Through These Doors, a Domestic Violence Non-Profit serving Cumberland County and beyond.

Domestic Violence Prevention is a topic near and dear to my heart, as I was in an abusive relationship for four years with my first husband. One thing I learned was that Super Bowl Sunday (which falls on Sun, 02/08 this year) is one of the busiest days of the year for domestic violence hotline calls. Let’s help those volunteers helping other women!

TO REGISTER or FMI: Email MK! ninepillarshealing@gmail.com

WISE WOMEN TALKING
WINTER SOLSTICE CELEBRATION
Sunday, December 21st
12:45 PM–3:30 PM
AVALON ACRES

[This event is capped! The maximum number has been met for this special event. Hope to see you in January! Please note 2026 circle dates and mark your calendar!]

2026 DATES for WISE WOMEN TALKING
Wise Women Talking meets on the 3rd Sunday of each month at Avalon Acres* in Hollis, Maine from 12:45 PM–3:30 PM

Here are the dates (with a few caveats-) for 2026:

JAN 18th (virtual unless someone wants to host at their house)
FEB 15th (virtual unless someone wants to host at their house)
MARCH 15th
APRIL 19th EARTH DAY FOCUS
MAY 24th (* This is actually the 4th Sunday, FYI)
JUNE 21st SUMMER SOLSTICE ceremony
JULY 19th POSSIBLE WATER LOCATION for this circle
AUGUST 16th NO CIRCLE FOR AUGUST
SEPT 20th FALL EQUINOX ceremony
OCT 18th
NOV 15th HONORING THE ANCESTORS
DEC 20th WINTER SOLSTICE CELEBRATION

*As the barn is not heated, it is difficult (and uncomfortable) to hold our circle in person for the winter months therefore for Jan and Feb, we will meet on Zoom

FMI or to read about what we do in this FREE, open circle, click HERE

AVALON NEWS

CSA AVALON BOXES 2026

We will be taking orders starting in January 2026. Who doesn’t love some home-grown, fresh ORGANIC produce grown by this guy?

FULL SHARES WILL BE $350, and that’s 12 weeks of delish starting end of June x 12 weeks

AND SPEAKING OF 2026….ARE YOU IN?

In addition to my own offerings at Avalon and a possible workshop on Monhegan, here’s a few of the fun, nourishing, and soulful events we have planned for 2026!

MICHELE LOWRY:
Animal Communicator
*I’ve confirmed Michele’s Workshop! mark your calendar for Feb 7th, 11 AM- 2 PM at Avalon Acres!

AMYLIA JAYNE:
Journey Dance

ŚRI DEVI MELISSA UREY:
Sacred Sound and Yoga Nidra Retreat
*Summer Solstice*

JULIETTE SUTHERLAND:
Keening Workshop and Ceremony
Anger Workshop and Ceremony

JENSYN PELLETIER:
Holistic Healing Practitioner & Herbalist
Sound Bath & Meditation

AMANDA PAINTER:
Astrology Readings (as part of a mini-retreat)

Would you like to offer a special event at Avalon in 2026? We’d love to hear your ideas! Do you know someone that could benefit from our special magic, events, a night at the Sweet Suite? Feel free to forward our website; to see our rental form and FAQs, click here.

Newsletter

HAPPY SAMHAIN

November 9, 2025November 9, 2025 Mary Katherine Spain

As I was getting a client booked last week (yes, I am seeing clients again! Please see “My Schedule is Open!” further down in this newsletter!), she requested that we skip the check in, stating, “I am thinking starting out verbal puts the mind first..” I was struck by how much I resonated with this suggestion! On one hand, language and communication are my currency. As a writer, words and how to use them are my jam. Other forms of communicating feel somewhat inferior to me.

On the other hand, I LOVED her reasoning: “what I want from energy work is [to] shift on all energetic planes of the body.” In essence, she was trusting her own 1)intuitive sense of how she wanted to receive, and 2) trusting that as we evolve, other forms of seeing each other, knowing each other–beyond words and language–are emerging; and 3)trusting me to step into that space. WOW!

In preparation for her visit, I had to come up with some creative ways to engage since I forfeited asking my preliminary check in questions. I learn a lot about where my clients are with those little chats before a session. I know my guides are weaving golden threads around them, aligning our energies, and even dropping me a hint or two about what to ask next.

Going with something totally new–and something suggested by a client–was glorious and challenging at the same time! I did what any faithful light worker would do: I asked Spirit to guide me. Spirit showed me an experience I had just had in my medicine wheel the day before, and some wonderful images and messages had come through.

So: I was to tell my client this story, and ask her to “just listen.” It was a wonderful session, and was infused with trust and stillness that I definitely want to experience more.

This whole conversation with my client led me to think about a nugget of wisdom I received in a meditation a long time ago:

SELF ANALYSIS LEADS TO JUDGEMENT

SELF REFLECTION LEADS TO INSIGHT

Just as my client determined: Verbal puts the mind first. Our world is packed with words, and our world often over-uses words, misuses words, or even makes up untruths with words. I feel that over-analyzing is connected to this over-dependency on word salads and the like. So many of us know how to evaluate and assess but do we really know how to express how we feel, what we might be sensing? Words lock things down, as do labels. What if we were able to more fluidly exist in stillness, and ask for an absence of information, instead of more?

You might be one of those people–like me–who has a tendency to be self-critical. Could our bad habit of self-criticism fade a bit if we stop analyzing so much? We analyze our actions–past, present and future. We definitely analyze others’ actions. “What did she mean by…?” or “Do you think he really wants to…?” Fill in the blank of What-Ifs! And friends, WE ALL DO IT.

What would it take to lean into more of the self-reflection, knowing that the kinder we are to ourselves, we may discover some insight about life, about the nature of being human? And that must lead to compassion.

If you find yourself mulling over something, or perseverating as my husband calls it, ask yourself if there’s a chance you might move over to the self-reflection column. I do feel that too much self-analysis does lead to judgement, and it’s just too limiting.

How freeing would it be to simply ask for less, instead of more? This truly is nothing short of a paradigm shift! But I love the ability my client possessed to ask for what she sensed was the best thing for HER session.

FEATURED PRACTITIONER: SHANNON MURPHY

Shannon Murphy is the owner and founder of Wise River Rolfing located in Portland, Maine. Rolfing Structural Integration is a holistic, full-body approach for finding better structural alignment and functional ease by addressing the fascial system of the body. She helps clients depattern fascial restrictions through manual fascial work and guided movement. Shannon helps her clients open to change movement patterns and behavior in order to create more vitality overall and better functional movement.

Through a 10 series protocol of Rolfing Structural Integration the work is customized to your specific needs. The reasons for starting a Rolfing journey are as varied as the clients who walk through the door. She would love to support you with your health and wellness goals through the modality of Rolfing.

Learn more or book your appointment today at her lovely website, Wise River Rolfing, or email her at info@wiseriverrolfing.com

POP UP JOURNAL PROMPT #1

“You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.” ~Brené Brown

What does the brilliant Brené mean by this? We hear a lot today about ‘what story are you carrying’ and the stories that may be old, outdated and flat but still we cling to them.

Explore what your CURRENT story is. Is it a celebration of your hard-won lessons? Is it itchy and out-of-date like an outfit from yester-year? If you could write a new story for yourself, how would it go?

Speaking of stories…

DO THE SCARY STUFF

On Saturday, November 8th, I will be attending the In Her Words WeHeroines Conference in Yarmouth. As the founder of WeHeroines Susanna Liller asserts, we will be listening to stories that are “Not stories from books or movies, but the living, breathing stories of real women.” In the conference, we will be learning how to tell OUR STORY, and how to build the confidence needed to be inspiring. I am feeling very nervous to be in the room with these Sheroes! However, I feel like it is important to push ourselves from time to time to do, as Eleanor Roosevelt insists, “one thing every day that scares you.”

SHOUT OUT: KATHLEEN LUKE

A profound experience happened to me this fall. One of my most treasured mentors (my therapist) asked me to read and edit her memoir, The Way of Soul. It’s a book about the way she does therapy, how her study of energy work and Jungian methodology co-mingled with her own experiences with an exercise Jung called Active Imagination. Part science, part intuitive brilliance, I was emotionally, intellectually and soulfully blown away by its power and insight. Initially, I was so nervous! Here was a woman who knew me inside and out, had seen sides of me I probably have not shown anyone, and been the game-changing mouth of wisdom for…17 years! Yes! I have seen this phenomenal woman for 17 years. Therapy with Kathleen is not for the weak. Of all the truth-talkers I have known in my day, she tops the lists. Now, I’m supposed to read and edit her precious words?! Well, you can imagine that was a moment that ole Eleanor Roosevelt and her ‘do something that scares you’ advice would have been very proud of. Because of course I said yes! How could I say no to someone who has had such a powerful effect on me?

Then I started reading it. WOW! All I’m going to say is: You will want to purchase this book when it hits. I will keep you updated with publication status.

And from the synchronicity department: on Friday of this week, Kathleen and I both will find ourselves in a “discovery call” with MAP. My own manuscript–the Nine Pillars of the Divine Feminine–is so very close to being finalized! I am so, so honored to nearly have this book birthed in the world; to have helped Kathleen along the way with hers has truly been one of the privileges of my life.

DO YOU HAVE A WRITING PROJECT that you would like to work on in a more focused way? Do you, too, have dreams of publishing something one day? I’d love to help! My rates for reading, editing and re-visioning written work is $50/hour, and the ‘2nd pair of eyes’ rate [basically proof reading] is $35/hour.

POP UP JOURNAL PROMPT #2

“I never teach my pupils; I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn.” ~Albert Einstein

Have you considered the conditions in which you absorb, observe, learn, grow? Do you even agree with Albert here? Why, or why not? As someone who teaches both in academia and in my shamanic circles, I know that teaching is most effective when students feel empowered. But how does that happen? We teachers do not wave a magic wand and whisper ‘Now be empowered!’

Explore ways that you learn and teach others.

WISE WOMEN TALKING

Honoring the Ancestors

Sunday, Nov.16th, 12:45 PM–3:30ish

Avalon Acres

*POTLUCK*

[click here to go to our Wise Women Talking page]

MY SCHEDULE IS OPEN! And things are a little different…

There will be a few alterations to my healing sessions:

90 minutes, which breaks down as follows: 20 min check in, 50 min session, 20 min integration/exploration of net steps.
In order for me to stay honest with the 90-min appointment, I may email you a few days before to begin the check in process. Some folks need a lot of time to update me! And, admittedly, I ask a lot of questions. Long check-ins make the session more like 2 hours, and if I want to truly keep good boundaries, I need to shoot for 90 minutes.
Sliding scale: The sliding scale model is intended for anyone who may be facing financial challenges to still receive the healing they need. It breaks down as follows:

__NEW CLIENTS (never before seen) REMAINS AT $150 for a 2-hr session

__ESTABLISHED CLIENTS: $85–$125

__ESTABLISHED CLIENTS: who cannot pay the low end ($85) can trade 2 hours of work on the farm, gardens, or any other variety of projects here at Avalon; timeline of trade MUST happen within 6 months of appointment.

DRUM, SING, DANCE YOUR HEART OPEN:

FULL MOON FIRE CEREMONY DEC 4TH

I will be honest here: because of the drought conditions this summer and fall, I have not had enough sacred fires (or other kinds of fire-) here at Avalon. And frankly, I feel a calling to connect to fire (the Great Transformer) in hopes to connect with the Flame Within. When we are LIT UP from the inside out, we always have a light to see our path…

This will be the LAST FULL MOON of 2025. How did your 2025 go? Ready to send that ole boss down the river?! Let’s do it in ceremony, together!

This is also a chance to share one of Athena’s Pillars! Pillar #5 states:

“Fire ceremony. ‘Fire ceremony’ is redundant…every ceremony must have fire. Fire is the ultimate life bearer. The flame of spirit is what truly sustains us. Being a torch bearer means having an intimate relationship with all elements but fire is what truly transforms. Fire is the ceremony–transformation is the point. Gather in a ceremonial way as it will sanctify the community. Circle the wagons. If you can’t build a fire, light a white candle every morning and call in the Great Goddess.”

After our fire ceremony, we will gather in the house (by the stove fire) and enjoy some home-made soup and tea.

WHAT TO BRING:

__Drums, rattles and other ways to express (bring your singing voice!)

__Travel mug for tea

__Layers: We will be outside, exploring this transcendental time of winter-dreaming!

__A Folly Dolly, if you are called to make one. We’ll burn these in the Yule-to-be fire!

Not sure what a Folly Dolly is? Click here to get the idea!

ENERGETIC EXCHANGE: FREE or LOVE DONATION OF $10

(The donations will go to Through These Doors, the domestic violence service in Portland and surrounding areas)

AVALON NEWS

Druid gathering!

Public Gatherings & Workshops

HOLIDAY (or not) GIFT IDEAS THAT SPIRIT APPROVES OF!

From AMANDA PAINTER, ASTROLOGER:

Not sure what November’s Mercury retrograde from Sagittarius back into Scorpio might mean for you? Mercury’s retrogrades can be valuable phases for review, revising, reconsidering, reclaiming…you get the idea. But it can be hard to access that perspective if hiccups and glitches start piling up — especially against the overall mental backdrop of a world in crisis, and the many ways it can impact us on a personal level.

I am offering a flash sale on a very limited number of micro readings between now and Nov. 20, when retrograde Mercury aligns with the Scorpio New Moon:

– 10 minutes for $20

– new clients only

– remote sessions only

– please note that results will be most accurate if you know your exact birth time

These are designed as just a taste! If you want to go deeper, the micro session will include a 10% discount on a full length session at a later date. (You’re welcome to read more about what I do at amanda-painter.com.)

Only 6 spots are available for these micro sessions! Please contact me if you are interested in using Mercury’s backwards dance for insight rather than just irritation.

With Love,

Amanda

From LUCILLE MELTZ, INTUITIVE GUIDE AND HAND READING PRACTITIONER:

As the holidays approach, are you perhaps seeking an unusual and meaningful gift for a loved one or for yourself!?

I am now offering, through Jan 10^th 2026, a 20 % holiday discount on all my hand readings.

Attached is the current price list for all the types of hand readings that I do, so simply take off 20 % and let me know if you would like to proceed.

Remember, all my readings are done by phone and it does not matter where anyone lives in the USA.

I am always reachable to answer any questions either by phone,( 207-650-4376) or email. (please, please no texts!)

Thank you… and may the inherent promised peace of the holiday season bring you and yours a renewal of spirit.

Light,Lucille

Another great holiday gift is the GIFT OF EXPERIENCE. Why not purchase a gift certificate or class-pass for some Vedic Chanting with my soul sister, Sri Devi? Here is her most recent newsletter with her MANY offerings!

Thank you for reading! Hope to see you soon!

Newsletter

Fall Joy and Grief: Balancing Both

September 22, 2025 Mary Katherine Spain

I handed the package to the UPS lady. She had dyed black hair, a black shirt, and black-painted nails, and asked about the complicated address.

“Does the college name go first?”

I looked at her and smiled. “You’re asking me?”

She stared at the screen and went on to tell me that oftentimes, customers think she is an Amazon employee, or a postal worker. “I just click, click, and hope it reads it, ya know? I don’t know everything.”

I chuckled, out of courtesy, more than anything else. I was sending my best friend’s son, Daniel, a care package. He’s been at college for three weeks now. I just wanted to brighten his day, remembering all of the care packages my mom sent me at ECU.

“What’s in here?” she asked, still puzzling over the 5 lines of address.

“Poundcake. Golf balls.”

“Sounds like a party to me!” she snapped and we both busted out laughing. We chatted easily then, and all of a sudden, she blurted, “It’s taken it! We got the entire address in there now. Look.” She swiveled the screen around so I could read it.

“That’s awesome. Thank you!” I paid, headed out to my car for the long drive back to Hollis from South Portland. But something really strange delayed my commute: I broke down crying.

Sitting in my car, I didn’t know if I was having a panic attack or what. I could NOT STOP crying. There was a multitude of feelings, untethered as they were, and they came fast and furious: sadness over whether Daniel would even have a planet upon graduation (or a democracy), the lady’s exuberance about getting the address right (it’s the little things, eh?), the unending, unapologetic pain my body has been experiencing for (–fill in the blank here, I lost count for how long!), the people I miss, the things I WANT to do (if only I had more energy), and the ALL-STARS of this list: the “energy” of this time, eclipse season of 2025.

Yup, I could not “ground” enough to get my shit together. I clearly needed the cry, but was there something I needed to address? Did I leave the psychic gate open, and was doing someone else’s work? My heart was pounding, so I went back to thinking ‘panic attack,’ although I have only ever had one of those, about 20 years ago when I was training as a medical assistant.

I gripped the wheel, telling myself and the interior of my car: “Come on! You can do this!” But I couldn’t. I could not start the car, and I did not want to drive.

So I reached. I reached out to a real powerhouse of a woman, and a beloved friend. I knew she could talk me down or at least, admit that the cosmic storm was wreaking havoc with her stability as well. Misery loves company, doesn’t it? When someone else is struggling, your own struggle doesn’t feel quite as nasty.

However we didn’t just share struggle-stories. First of all, she let me wail and blubber. I felt like a baby! I’m sure most of what I said didn’t make any sense–it didn’t even to me! I told her some days, I feel like I am walking with the Ascended Masters and other days, I can hardly get out of bed. I told her that I was just sooooo tired: was it the busyness of the farm, my Airbnb guests, the flush of events and classes happening every single week-end, not to mention working full time? Was I getting “too old” for all of it? Or was it an emotional fatigue I couldn’t quite put my finger on?

She listened more than she talked, then offered her insights. Something she said to me that really stuck, I am working with and holding this morning: You can’t leave the 3-D reality, as it is our job to bring the energy and essence of the 5-D into this material world/plane of the 3-D. ASCENSION IS AN INSIDE JOB.

By the end of our conversation, we were talking about arthritis and all of the amazing dreams that are coming true–for both of us.

As Mel Robbins says, “No one is coming.” We take care of ourselves, and when we can’t, we call someone who cares. We pray. We sing, and we CRY! We must, we must, we must SURRENDER TO THE PROCESS of these crumbling realities because the more we clutch on to the old ways, behaviors, and paradigms, the more pain we will be in.

It is my opinion that our very definition of ‘human’ is being re-formed, and from an expansive place–not cultural, not ego-centric, and certainly not driven by law/government. It is stimulating the collective consciousness, which is actually UNITY consciousness and all it wants is: Love, Joy, Hope, Grace, Compassion, Creativity, Justice. The more people who can SURRENDER to this PROCESS instead of rubber-necking around the debris, the chaos, the interminable un-truths, the better off we will be.

Are you feeling like a big, long-awaited cry is coming on? If you are sensitive to energy, this is a time to let it GO THROUGH YOU. Other practices you can adopt are:

__Sitting under direct sunlight for 20 minutes each day

__Sitting on the ground

__Placing bare feet and bare hands on the Earth

__Sleeping

__Breathing/meditation

__Saying ‘no’ to externals that really do not interest you

__Finding a tree, or trees, that you admire and love and spending time there

__CRY–get it out!

__Movement of the body–dancing, yoga, qigong

AND: sometimes you just need to lose your shit. You need to stay in bed some mornings, call in sick. Being on the planet is HARD right now. No one in their right mind can deny it! I didn’t come here with an instruction manual on how to master life, did you? We are all doing the best that we can. I sense that, much like those communities that get hit with a flood, wild fire, or tornado and have to put all of their fears, prejudices, and judgment aside in order to LIVE, to get through to the next day, our new normal will be one that we BUILD TOGETHER BECAUSE WE HAVE TO.

A sanctified space follows a big purge.

Shine On, dear ones. You can call me and wail, btw.

Stillness is the key ! Allow the Fall Equinox 09/22/25 to help you balance in the “in-between”!

Newsletter

SHINE BRIGHT BABY

July 31, 2025July 31, 2025 Mary Katherine Spain

HAPPY LUGHNASA!

She had won the 2-night stay at Avalon in a silent auction. The proceeds were supporting an organization called YES, or Youth Enrichment Services in Boston, which offers youth the opportunity to have outdoor experiences that build confidence and gives those who might not be able to afford a ski pass or ski lesson the chance to participate in winter sports. My old friend, Gene, who lives and works in Dorchester, was helping organize the fundraiser, telling me his own kids had benefitted from many programs YES offered. He also asked me if I would donate a healing session on top of the “get-away” to the Sweet Suite. SURE! YES seemed like a great cause, and I’m always looking for places to promote the wild and wondrous lands of Avalon…

When Louisa showed up for her Maine week-end at Avalon, I’m sure she really did not know what to expect. As this was my first time hosting the “solo immersion retreat” neither did I! But I came up with a few things I thought might move her out of the active mind and busy pace of her CPA job and into some rest and relaxation at the farm.

On Friday, after arrival around 1 pm, I encouraged her to settle in, explore the trails, and roam the property. I also asked her to fill out the form, “Stating an Intention,” that I would be picking up at 8 PM that evening. Her healing session was scheduled for Saturday at 11 AM, followed by an afternoon of integration, where she could nap, read, go to the beach or whatever she wanted. Then, our ceremonial fire would be around 7 PM, after dinner.

One of the questions on the “Stating an Intention” worksheet was:

“A common icebreaker to introduce to a group of people who don’t know one another very well is to ask the group “Who would you invite to dinner?” Famous or not, alive or dead, you get to invite 5 people over for dinner. As someone who regularly communicates with nature and all of her beings, tell me the 5 aspects/spirits of nature you would like to have an enchanting night with. Are they all plants, birds, beasts, insects? Maybe there are trees and star constellations in attendance. Who would be your treasured guests, and why? List at least five.”

This was so awesome! I actively called in the nature beings, ie. “dinner guests” she wrote down for her healing session and throughout the week-end. I also loved hearing about her “why” as to the 5 she named. What did they mean to her? Was it a new curiosity, or childhood favorite?

Although I have stopped seeing one-on-one clients, I haven’t stopped doing energy work, and her healing session was very therapeutic for her. It also reminded me that I do LOVE the work! ( I just really needed a break in the WAY I was doing it). Because I knew she was getting extra juice from Avalon’s healing vibe, I was really excited she was only traveling by foot back to the Sweet Suite, not hoping in her car to drive!

Speaking of the Sweet Suite, I had created a Despatcho caddy for her in the unit. A Despatcho is a ceremony where you make a prayer bundle (Despatcho) and either burn it or bury it. Items traditionally used are tobacco, cornmeal, dried flower petals, herbs, and the like. I found these “snack caddies” at Wal-Mart (!) and meticulously labeled all of the items in the little bins. I also included a ‘decoder’ for what the items represented, their healing qualities, and possible prayers one may say with them. Instructions for making the prayer bundle and how to prepare your mind for prayerful engagement were also included.

I asked Louisa to make the bundle prior to Saturday’s fire ceremony, where we would place the bundle in the sacred flames together. She loved it so much, she made two, and took one home to place on her new altar. Our fire ceremony was sweet and soulful, and the energy of the evening felt settled, safe and nourishing.

In the morning, my plan was to have a final council: sit with a story of her week-end, then reflect it back to her using the images, discoveries, and insights we had been exploring all week-end. But, she had tickets for a musical down in Portsmouth with her boyfriend and his family, so she got on the road pretty early.

After some reflection about how I would do this next time (and what I would charge), I realized that part of our mission here at Avalon (and Nine Pillars’ mission, too-) is to help pull the veil back, away from the mundane, away from the busy monkey-mindedness in order to help people re-capture their best selves, and to maybe glimpse something of what the soul is truly longing for. I know my work in the world is stitched into this kind of immersive experience–and that is one reason why I really did not want to offer the 2-hr sessions anymore. I want people to have an experience that will linger with them; some of you may say that my healing sessions have lingered but facilitating the power of ritual (Despatcho), of ceremony (fire), of the Spirit BATH one receives from just being at Avalon is where my calling is now. This was a multi-layered immersion, something my high-self has been trying to put into motion at Avalon for a while. I did it!

I also had a very willing guest! She even wanted to join me in my Saturday morning “powering up” by dancing the Medicine Wheel with me. She was a great hula-hooper! I did provide coffee, tea, two lite breakfasts and snacks for her in the Sweet Suite. She was on her own for other meals.

What has your YES brought to your shores? For me, saying YES to YES (the organization!) brought me a wonderful, willing sojourner who gave me the invaluable gift of feedback. Relishing my own experience, what I learned, and the gift of true connection with Lousia not only enriched my week-end and blessed Avalon, but this will inform next steps for how I’d like to offer this experience in the future.

I am so proud of the work I do. Lughnasa is an excellent time to remind ourselves of our strengths, our ‘best selves’ that we can offer the world. Although not encouraged in our world these days, the ancient Celts took boasting to an artform at Lughnasa. Part levity, part competition, it was celebrated and encouraged to boast, maybe even embellish your greatest gifts.

What we focus on, expands. So why not focus on the best parts of you?

Shine On,

PS. If you’d like to book a week-end retreat at Avalon to experience the immersion I’ve described here, I have one week-end left in September and two in October. The energetic exchange is $350 (or, $300 without the guided fire ceremony).

FEATURED EVENT:

“Embodied and Emboldened: Becoming an Intentional Human”

Saturday, September 27th and Oct 18th

Nature Wander Immersion and WORKSHOP:

Intention: To become an emboldened, embodied, intentional adult who understands her medicine and is ready to give it to the community by reclaiming the contours of self and soul and who has a curiosity about how to show up in a world which has dominated and distorted the soul’s energetics for way too long

ENGAGE WITH SOUL 8:30 AM–11:30 AM

Wander the land of Avalon to re-discover what story your soul is holding and how you might engage with it throughout the day. As you walk with the wild world, make inquiries as to how you, too, can become your most awakened self; fasting encouraged but not required

~Pls enjoy your bagged lunch from 11:30–12:30~

REFLECT WITH SELF 12:30 PM–1:30 PM

Honor the voices of soul you heard on the land by calling up the MAKER of you. Reflect in your journal through poetry, drawing or other forms of creation. Make a mandala on the earth, collage the story of your morning with images. Paint, sing or even dance the wisdom you received. Some art supplies will be provided but feel free to bring your own

~break 1:30 PM– 1:45 PM~

CONNECT IN COMMUNITY 1:45 PM-4 PM

Discover how the distilled pieces of soul and self dance together and are best served in the community. Here’s where we carry the “emboldened” self and soul into the world. You will be guided to make a covenant with yourself in service to your discoveries of truth and share with the group in council the ways you intend to apply your medicine

*THIS IS AN ALL-DAY EVENT. We will be sharing, revealing, honoring the TRUTH that arises in each of us. If you have been wondering where your passion or purpose has gone, this event is for you! But please do recognize it is crafted with the integrity to go deeply into the authentic places of self and soul that need (and deserve) tending.

*SLIDING SCALE: $50–$65; Venmo, PayPal cash or check by 09/12 (for 09/27) and 10/03 (for 10/18)

Fmi: Email ninepillarshealing@gmail.com or text 207-939-6863

Newsletter

HAPPY BELTANE!

May 4, 2025 Mary Katherine Spain

Dear Lovely 2-Leggeds,

I thought a bit of whimsy in the form of a story would best fit my mood here at Beltane! Hope you enjoy…

KEEPIN AN EYE ON THAT HOLY LAND

She figured that they must have a James Taylor CD somewhere. Her guilty pleasure, American Idol, featured the balladeer in Sunday’s episode. Gosh, he looks old (he IS old!) but those blue eyes are still sparkly. As one of the contestants crooned away on the minor chords of “Fire and Rain,” she decided that she definitely needed to listen to JT.

Because her new-to-her Subaru came with a CD player–a CD player!–she knew she wanted to give it a whirl on her commute. What’s this? Okaaay, the CDs have been moved but it makes sense: Husband moved them closer to the CD player, in the kitchen. The fact that the little shelf-not-shelf looks like it’s about to dissolve into the floor is no bother. And there in the midst of piled-high stacks reads, “JAMES TAYLOR: LIVE.”

Before she leaves for work, she goes through the usual routine: All doors locked? Is the door to the mudroom closed, so the cat can’t get it? Did I leave a candle burning on the altar? Do I have my computer? Is the charger for the computer at work, or is it in the carrier bag? Is the lunch in the lunch bag, and is that in the reusable grocery bag, are the clogs in the bottom of the bag (because when you reach a certain age, lots of changes of shoes are needed throughout the day-), and does the dog have fresh water? Does she need to go pee again? Is the chicken door securely tightened? Did the overnight tiny-home guest leave yet? If so, should I throw in a load of sheets before I leave?

DO I HAVE EVERYTHING she asks herself over and over again, each day, and often at different intervals of the day…

She slowly backs out of the driveway and when that new-to-her little Subrau is turned in the direction toward work, she slides ole JT in the CD slot. The crackle and whoop-whoop of a live audience fills the interior of the car. She puts the Subaru in drive.

She sings. “There is a young cowboy, he lives on the range…His horse and his cattle are his only companions..” As that sweet, gentle voice of JT pulses in her ears and through the car, the memories start to flood in. But where are they from, what are they OF? A feeling? A person? A time, long ago..? “Some things are just timeless” she thinks. Is it the lyrics, or the notes? Is it the affinity for good song-writing, or is it the way some songs–this song–melts into her veins and before she gets to Route 202, it’s become a part of her.

No, it’s been re-membered into her.

And this makes her think: what a glorious thing to be taken by something! A song! Or Anything! The feeling: is it old, or new? She knows every word and keeps singing, and lets herself be transported somewhere but where? It is without definition, there is no “zip code.”

Finally she asks herself: How can I hold this? This thrumming of Sweet Baby James with me, for the rest of the day? She thinks the sensation belongs in a museum for safe keeping, so others can know, understand what music does. And what does music “do”? That’s the mystery, much like other forms of art. And it’s not like James Taylor stopped there: he made SO MANY great songs! Maybe the mystery is what calls us to our particular inspirations, she thinks, how any one of us might dance with their muse, quantifying the unquantifiable just for the joy of it.

In her reverie, she loses track of the story the song is telling, now hears James sing, ‘singing works just fine for me’–is it a suggestion to move toward the thing that alleviates suffering? What elixir has JT found in the singing, the song-making? A simple anecdote, so simple it is profound…She wonders what ‘works for her.’

As she makes the right turn at the Buxton Hannaford, she decides right then and there “This was so much better than thinking about Dumpster-Child on TV tonight, being interviewed. This was so much better for my soul than NPR.”

And then she immediately feels guilty for ‘tuning out’ or being ‘privileged’ to tune out. “In the world but not of the world” as Jesus once suggested comes to mind. I can do this, she thinks. I CAN be here, in the world, but still turn OFF NPR.

A toy Jesus I found on the beach at Oak Island, the first week of April. Weirdly, my sister found a toy Jesus three days later in Farmville, NC!

“So good night you moon light ladies, Rock-A-Bye Sweet Baby James!” She’s cry-singing now as she passes O’Donal’s in Gorham, gripping the wheel, swaying from side to side in the front seat. She starts to remember all the other people in her life who love James Taylor. She thinks about the sad song, Fire and Rain. She thinks about Carole King, and Joni Mitchell–two of JT’s lovers. She thinks about whether there is a biography of JT out there? She even thinks about JT’s once-upon-a-time heroin addiction, and thinks she recalls that being the reason that Joni had to leave him.

DO I HAVE EVERYTHING? What Works For Me? Will I go down in those Dreams? She wonders…and sings herself through the parking lot, into the building, and through her day.

Shine On You Moon Light Ladies,

Mary Katherine

FEATURED PRACTITIONER:

ŚRI DEVI Melissa Urey

I met Śri Devi (Shree) last October when I went on retreat with her up to Borestone Mountain. It was 4 days of silence, yoga, vegan deliciousness and, well, the magic that is Borestone. Oh, and VEDIC CHANTING. The entire time I was in her presence I felt I was with a sprite. No fluff-sprite, however. A DEVOTED sprite to her practice, her heart-tending, her curiosity, and of course her mantras, which she chants with an other-worldy vibration. No joke, she is the real deal. If you get a chance to study with her, go on retreat with her, take one of her classes, DO IT.

Śri Devi Melissa Urey (Shree) is an intuitive energy & sound healer, Usui Reiki Master Level Teacher/Practitioner, ERYT-500, Vedic chanting teacher and meditation guide.

Śri is a holder of sacred space and has been immersed in the study of energy healing and the nature of reality since 1998. Over the years she has delved deeply into teaching various yogic practices and philosophy, Sanskrit, sound healing technologies and chanting. She is an authorized teacher of Veda chanting in the Mysore sampradaya of the Krishna Yajur Veda.

She offers private sessions, group events, classes, 40-day chanting practices and retreats both in-person and online.

A few of her upcoming offerings are:

Introduction to Vedic Chanting – Online 6-week course

Sacred Sound & SIlence ~ A Silent Retreat with Yoga & Sound Healing for Women

Monthly Community Kirtan & Hanuman Chalisa Practice

Bi-Monthly Restorative Yoga w/Reiki & Sound Healing

Reiki Level 1

Śri also offers regular free online community chanting circles.

To stay informed on upcoming offerings you can visit her website www.melissaurey.com or sign up for her mailing list HERE

FEATURED EVENT: ANGER CEREMONY

HOLDING SPACE FOR SACRED RAGE

Saturday, May 17th, 1 PM- 4 PM

Avalon Acres

Designed and Co-Led by Artist and Filmmaker, Juliette Sutherland

Are you a woman who is tired of being put in a box, confined to express “acceptable” emotions instead of the full human range?

Are you a woman who is tired of sugar-coating everything you say, worried not to offend someone?

Are you a woman who is confused, sickened, ANGRY at the rampant (continued) objectification of WOMEN in our world?

DO YOU HAVE SOME RAGE TO EXPRESS?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, THIS EVENT IS FOR YOU!

FMI or to Register: Please email Juliette: juliettesutherland89@gmail.com

WISE WOMEN TALKING

SUNDAY, MAY 18th, 12:45 PM–3:30 PM

AVALON ACRES

WE WILL FOCUS ON JOANNA MACY’S
WORK THAT RECONNECTS!

FMI: email me! ninepillarshealing@gmail.com or check out the website page for this group: https://ninepillarshealing.com/wise-women-talking/

AVALON NEWS

MEET WILEY!

(The Sweet Suite is unavailable from May 19th–June 21st, as Wiley will be lodging there)

Michael and I are first-timers for the WWOOF program [Willing Workers On Organic Farm], but think we have found the perfect fit! Wiley will soon graduate from Clarkson University with a BS in Electrical Engineering. He grew up in Groton, Massachusetts and played several sports throughout highschool. He comes with some experience farming, having helped out one summer on a farm in Maine that his sister was working at the time. He is even interested in the spiritual aspects of our operation. Yah!

How It Works: The WOOFER (Wiley) helps in the fields and all other facets of farming in exchange for room and board. No money is exchanged, and we make sure he’s fed! He’ll also have plenty of time to explore the area, take a run through our trails, read and rest. Wiley told us he was ready for some non-academic time. I think Avalon will be good for that!