Winter Solstice – Embodying the Divine Feminine

SILVER LINING OF SICKNESS

December 16, 2025 Mary Katherine Spain

On November 21st, I tested positive for Covid–for the first time EVER!

For some reason, my immune system has resisted the coronavirus (or all of her mutations-) all these years we have been aware, and living with, Covid. But I guess my luck was up! In addition to not being able to attend the family Thanksgiving gathering with my in-laws, I wasn’t really hungry enough to eat the yummy leftovers Michael brought home for me.

And that wasn’t my only low point during my ‘bout’ with Covid. Not by a long shot…

…but sometimes the low-point IS THE POINT.

It’s just too easy, isn’t it, to feel sorry for yourself when you’re sick. The pity-party gets rocked up to the next level. ALSO: No wonder we were all masked and isolated–Covid is NO JOKE! I have never been so sick in my life! Maybe when I had Scarlett fever as a child, but I don’t remember that.

You know the drill: NyQuil, sleep, hack, pray for some breathing apparatus to appear by your bedside when you wake up. Calling out for “More juice!” down the stairs to Michael. Moaning for the pounding headache to subside. The PILES of used Kleenex on the bedside table. Magazines, books, and more YouTube videos than you thought your eyeballs could possibly handle watching. Sometimes I would text Michael passive aggressive texts from upstairs: “Are you home?” which really meant ‘I need something.’ Poor Molly got instituted real quick as my emotional support animal. I wondered if my liver or kidneys were shutting down from all of the dextromethorphan in the NyQuil.

Rinse, repeat. And on it went for four days.

When our bodies weaken, so do our minds, and spirits. One feels strung out, defeated, even depressed. Ennui creeps in, and then maybe you go a little deeper, maybe you go to the Dark Place: Who Loves Me? What’s It All For?

It is hard to look on the bright side when you feel like crappola. But there is a silver lining down there in the cellar: when you are struggling in mind, body, spirit and soul, you are compelled to ask the harder questions of yourself. Shadow arises more easily because you don’t have your defenses up; there are no protectors of the ego in the house. Those ego-loyalists are out to lunch, possibly out of the country–they are not interested in listening to the harder questions the defenseless self asks.

These ideas and perceptions are the edge I was walking. Ideas–both creative and self-lacerating–were coming to the surface to be dealt with. As I wallowed in the bed, I had to make peace with those edgy shadow dwellers. But how?

It all started with a Facebook post. SHOCKING, I know! If you’ve never gotten triggered by a Facebook post before, you probably aren’t on Facebook. One thing I know for sure about Facebook: if you are in a great mood, you don’t even check it. If you are in a good mood, you might be mildly amused by your feed’s content or pleasantly distracted for a bit. If you are in a bad mood, say, when you are sick, chances are you might get triggered by something you see or pissed off by something someone posts.

Just saying.

And so it was with me. I noticed that an acquaintance who I had been in a training with a while back was offering a very interesting 4-day retreat for women. It looked like one of these “re-wilding” events, a chance to resurrect our primal selves, paint ourselves with mud and drum under a full moon. In other words, it looked like something I SHOULD be offering. Tempted to sign up myself, I became fixated on ‘why’ I wasn’t doing more of ‘these kinds of events’ at Avalon. I could carry this off! What was so great about so-and-so, when we probably have very similar skills…

Then I went to the Dark Place: You will never be so-and-so because you have to split yourself between the Professor Spain life at UNE and Lady-of-the-Manse life at Avalon. You can’t be FULLY either, and so you suck at both.

Ok, yes, it was easy to go to the dark place because I had been lurking in the waiting room of the dark place for a few days. Finally I was in! Thanks Covid! I was at the Big Show of Shadow, and I was spiraling.

Having one foot in one world and one foot in the other, I was convinced it was my job somehow to carry a sense of fracturedness. (For those of you keeping score at home, this was the “stop at the Martyr Hotel” of the darkness walk). It wasn’t long before I started resenting being the one in the family who had to carry the health insurance, and therefore maintain the health insurance JOB, i.e., my UNE job! *Mind you, Michael did this for us for SEVERAL years as I did not get jack-diddly in terms of insurance as an adjunct professor…

I’ll save you more details of the spiral, but believe me: It wasn’t pretty. At least I was stuck in bed and so didn’t project my nonsense onto anyone in my life. Thankfully, after I just could not stand myself anymore, I was ready to listen.

My defenseless self was willing to listen to what the Mighty Magi of Shadow needed me to tell me, and it went something like this:

“First of all, little darlin, if you wanted to be so-and-so and howl at the moon for four days with the MANY friends and shamanistas that you know, YOU COULD. You could do that!

But is that what you want? Because if it was, you’d be doing that.

And health insurance not-withstanding, you’re actually an intellectual. Oh I know you love to imagine that you are channeling Morgan LeFay here at Avalon but you also wanted to go to college at U-Mass Amherst because you really, really loved Emily Dickinson, because you loved poetry. You LOVE WORDS, and what you can make of them. So don’t poo-poo your dependable, conventional job at the university. PLEASE!

And another thing: what is so wrong with doing both? You call it ‘being fractured’ but isn’t it being multi-talented? Multi-interested? Couldn’t you just see it as being dynamic?

I’m here to remind you: You are someone who needs to do things her own way, in form and fashion that does NOT follow the ways and trends of others. You choke on the words “being a follower”–a fate worse than death. No, no! You can’t copy anyone’s style, or offerings!

So if you are really all that unhappy about how you’re showing up in the world, only you can change that. But just so you know: you generally birth the creations that come to you. You share the inspirations that run through you, and most generously.

You are the intellectual, AND you are the wild woman of the woods. Your words can cast spells as easily as your high ceremonies. You actually are free to do either, or both, or none. Nobody’s stopping you.”

I AM BOTH, I realized. I DO need to be original! The silver lining of sickness: feeling powerless strips you of artifice; not having the regular conditioning plugged in about how you go about your day, your perspective gets shifted.

Covid facilitated an unexpected trip to the underworld I needed, a moment of getting triggered, in order to access the space of the internal world– what a gift!

When you feel great, everything’s great. When you are knocked on your ass, you have to deal with yourself, your weaknesses, your shadow, your warts, your bruises.

Can we be kind to ourselves, when we are stumbling around down there in the cellar?

Christmas time is a time of giving. It feels good to give gifts, to spend a little extra on food and drink, to treat your loved ones to something special. But please do not forget that holiday time can also be a time of triggers, of old hurts resurfacing, even of coveting. If you feel yourself going to the Dark Place, there might be some auspicious wise counselors down there. If this happens this holiday season, my wish for you is to have the courage to hear them out.

And please, please, be gentle with yourself as you listen.

Shine On,
Mary Katherine

FEATURED EVENT:
FORGING THE FIRE WITH BRIGID
Sunday, February 1st, 2026
1 PM- 4 PM
Avalon Acres
Suggested Donation: $20
(This is a FUNDRAISER for Through These Doors*)

Join me and my dear friend and fellow shamanic practitioner, Kristi for a special day spent mostly outside learning the ways of Brigid, the Celtic Goddess of Healing, Smithcraft, and Poetry.

Please consider what empowers you FROM THE INSIDE. External validation is subjective–how are you forging your internal passions? The more joy we generate by doing what truly feeds us, the brighter our lights shine.

Calling on CREATION that is the SPARK of the Divine Flame Within, we will build an outdoor altar to Brigid, hold a Witness and Reveal circle, and speak to what hopes we have for a fruitful, abundant year.

This event is a FUNDRAISER for Through These Doors, a Domestic Violence Non-Profit serving Cumberland County and beyond.

Domestic Violence Prevention is a topic near and dear to my heart, as I was in an abusive relationship for four years with my first husband. One thing I learned was that Super Bowl Sunday (which falls on Sun, 02/08 this year) is one of the busiest days of the year for domestic violence hotline calls. Let’s help those volunteers helping other women!

TO REGISTER or FMI: Email MK! ninepillarshealing@gmail.com

WISE WOMEN TALKING
WINTER SOLSTICE CELEBRATION
Sunday, December 21st
12:45 PM–3:30 PM
AVALON ACRES

[This event is capped! The maximum number has been met for this special event. Hope to see you in January! Please note 2026 circle dates and mark your calendar!]

2026 DATES for WISE WOMEN TALKING
Wise Women Talking meets on the 3rd Sunday of each month at Avalon Acres* in Hollis, Maine from 12:45 PM–3:30 PM

Here are the dates (with a few caveats-) for 2026:

JAN 18th (virtual unless someone wants to host at their house)
FEB 15th (virtual unless someone wants to host at their house)
MARCH 15th
APRIL 19th EARTH DAY FOCUS
MAY 24th (* This is actually the 4th Sunday, FYI)
JUNE 21st SUMMER SOLSTICE ceremony
JULY 19th POSSIBLE WATER LOCATION for this circle
AUGUST 16th NO CIRCLE FOR AUGUST
SEPT 20th FALL EQUINOX ceremony
OCT 18th
NOV 15th HONORING THE ANCESTORS
DEC 20th WINTER SOLSTICE CELEBRATION

*As the barn is not heated, it is difficult (and uncomfortable) to hold our circle in person for the winter months therefore for Jan and Feb, we will meet on Zoom

FMI or to read about what we do in this FREE, open circle, click HERE

AVALON NEWS

CSA AVALON BOXES 2026

We will be taking orders starting in January 2026. Who doesn’t love some home-grown, fresh ORGANIC produce grown by this guy?

FULL SHARES WILL BE $350, and that’s 12 weeks of delish starting end of June x 12 weeks

AND SPEAKING OF 2026….ARE YOU IN?

In addition to my own offerings at Avalon and a possible workshop on Monhegan, here’s a few of the fun, nourishing, and soulful events we have planned for 2026!

MICHELE LOWRY:
Animal Communicator
*I’ve confirmed Michele’s Workshop! mark your calendar for Feb 7th, 11 AM- 2 PM at Avalon Acres!

AMYLIA JAYNE:
Journey Dance

ŚRI DEVI MELISSA UREY:
Sacred Sound and Yoga Nidra Retreat
*Summer Solstice*

JULIETTE SUTHERLAND:
Keening Workshop and Ceremony
Anger Workshop and Ceremony

JENSYN PELLETIER:
Holistic Healing Practitioner & Herbalist
Sound Bath & Meditation

AMANDA PAINTER:
Astrology Readings (as part of a mini-retreat)

Would you like to offer a special event at Avalon in 2026? We’d love to hear your ideas! Do you know someone that could benefit from our special magic, events, a night at the Sweet Suite? Feel free to forward our website; to see our rental form and FAQs, click here.

Newsletter

WINTER SOLSTICE RENEWAL

December 20, 2024December 20, 2024 Mary Katherine Spain

Once upon a time, a young woman was having a really hard day with her three little girls (twins, mind you, plus a younger girl). The girls were not having a hard day; in fact, they were having a ball jumping from twin bed to twin bed, giggling, screaming, egging one another on. The youngest of the trio watched in awe from a nearby rocking chair, dreaming of when she too could join the mayhem.

“Stop it! Do you want to go into time-out AGAIN?” the mother screamed.

“Mommy is gonna put us in time out again! Mommy is gonna put us in time out again, we better stop!” one of the twins howled, not stopping at all.

“We’re baaaaad! We’re so bad, we are driving mommy craaaazzzzy!” Ping, ping, ping went their little bodies against the chenelle bed coverings, which were a shade of 80’s dusty rose. The sun streamed in the only window in the room and the mother thought that if her girls weren’t acting like circus monkeys, they may very well look angelic.

“Right now, you must stop right now before someone gets hurt and we’re all piled up in the station wagon going to the ER!” The mother was now standing between the twin beds in the small room, trying to tackle them as they jumped over the ‘river’ between the beds.

“Mommy, you’re in the river, the big fish is gonna get you!” one twin warned.

“Yeah, mommy, you might get eaten and then what will you do?” the other twin added, smacking mommy’s butt as she jumped to the bed.

At that moment, possibly because of the lack of control but maybe because THIS MOMENT was the pinnacle of many moments which had not gone as planned for the young woman, she screamed at the very top of her lungs, in a voice she herself did not even recognize: “GOD HELP ME!”

All three of her daughters stopped and stared, like wee possums blinded by a car’s high beams. A few seconds of utter stillness unfolded. But it did not last.

“There’s the fish now, he’s coming for mommy’s legs!” one twin pointed at the floor.

“We need to rescue mommy!” the other twin shouted.

The young mother angrily threw up her hands. “That’s it, we’re going in the car. Who wants to go on the roller coaster road? Let’s go, now!”

And she put them all in the station wagon. She did not know where she was going, or for what purpose, other than to GO. She had to get them out of that room, or she might have really and truly drowned in the river of insanity.

Off they went down the roller coaster road. The mother accelerated a bit at the top of each hill, letting the car glide freely at the bottom. The movement, the breeze, soothed them for a short while but then the girls began carrying on once again. The young woman began to sob silently, the tears clouding her vision. “What have I done? Is this my life?” she asked herself.

At that moment, she heard another voice in the car: “Pull over here.” Her entire body went stiff with fright, and she pulled into the very next driveway she saw. Gripping the wheel, she looked at the non-descript Cape, a small ring of wildflowers crowding the mailbox. There was no name on the box, and she did not know what to do. Again, she heard the deep, primordial voice: “Knock on the door.”

She approached the door and knocked, wiping the tears from her eyes. An old woman in a floral apron opened the door. “Yes, how can I help?”

The young woman stared at the lady, looked back at her daughters in their carseats, and turned back to the lady and said the only thing she could say, which was the truth. “I don’t know. I don’t know why I’m here.”

The old woman opened the door wider and stated, “Oh, good, then. Means God sent you. Do come in, dear, and bring the girls with you.”

And so she did. The young woman and the old woman sat, and talked as the girls played with a boxful of toys the old woman had sitting by the stove. The young woman cried and cried to the old woman, telling her about the immense fear she had about being a good mom (or not), trying to “do it all” and failing miserably, or so she thought.

The old woman nodded, shared a few tales of her own when her children were ‘rascals’ and the two women eventually laughed about the hardships of raising these little precious things called children. Although she did not understand why she was led there, the young woman felt a bit more stable for coming, and the girls appeared to be calming down as well. She thanked the old woman for her kind hospitality.

The old woman stood up, straightening her apron. “Now, you must do this, what I’m about to tell you. Whenever you are vacuuming, changing a diaper, washing dishes, anything, say ‘Thy Will Be Done.’ Over and over, you say that. Hum it, if you’d like.”

The young woman said the phrase back to her; the old woman affirmed. THY WILL BE DONE.

And so, the young woman and her three daughters returned home. The young woman, not seeing how ‘Thy Will Be Done’ could hurt anything in her world ( she was not overly religious-), began uttering this, just as the old woman had told her to do.

Three weeks passed. The sun was high in the sky, and it was a lovely early summer day. The girls had gone outside in the yard, where the young woman could watch them from the living room picture window. She noticed they were singing; their little hands were waving in the air, and they were moving in a circle.

The young woman moved closer to the window, not believing her eyes. Her three daughters were singing, “God is in me, God is in me, God is in me!” Her joy and amazement melded into a state of grace, for she was overcome with an indescribable state of bliss.

And then she saw it: In the picture window’s reflection, a golden light entered the top of her head and moved throughout her entire body. As she watched her own reflection in the picture window change, she became without words, and thoughts. The image became more distinct, and her daughters kept singing. The young woman watched her eyes turn an otherworldly shade of emerald green as her own hands shot into the air and she began to sing, “God is in me, God is in me, God is in me!”

This story ends here, although the woman who told me this story did not end it there. She shared many things, and this story came up because we were talking about Jesus the other day at the monthly circle I hold here at Avalon, Wise Women Talking. I wanted to share it with you because it is a reminder that miracles happen, that God is indeed with us, and angels are among us. Although you may not always know ‘what to do,’ you can always sing, and you can always ask for help. God is in YOU.

May Spirit speak to you this Yule season. You never know what may unfold.

Shine On,

Mary Katherine

FEATURED PRACTITIONER & EVENT: Vivian Rae

So it was Covid, and I needed a massage. I had seen this new name on our Healers Forum (FB) and was curious if she was taking new people? Turns out she was and that someone was Vivian Rae; at the time, I recall Vivian telling me she had just moved to the area from Bar Harbor. Incorporating tuning forks with the massage, I was deeply enveloped in the theta state of healing. But massage is only ONE of her many talents!

Vivian practices Ayurvedic medicine, is an herbalist, a sound practitioner and a peristeam hydrotherapist. In a recent interview, she stated, “I work in person and virtually, offering Ayurvedic Health Consults, Pelvic Health Steam Consults, Bodywork, Sound Therapy, and Herbal Products. I love integrating these modalities and giving my clients full spectrum guidance on their healing path. Ayurvedic consults support the foundation of a person’s unique constitution and teaches how to balance through food therapy, herbs, lifestyle, and environment. My Pelvic health steam consults offer an ancient and powerful way to connect to the root, release trauma, balance hormones, support pelvic health, replenish cycles, and provide sexual healing. My bodywork integrates sound therapy, herbal oil, and essence attunement so that the physical and energetic body feel vital and whole. And my herbal products are made from organic ingredients and many local herbs and support self care practices and nurturing for the whole body.”

UPCOMING EVENTS with VIVIAN RAE:

12/21 -Winter Solstice Sound Meditation
1/11-Pelvic Steam Ceremony
1/17-Sound Meditation

Want to know more or have a question? Visit Viv’s lovely website, sign up for her newsletter and find a nourishing winter experience with her healing medicine:

https://www.viviraewellness.com/about-vivian

WINTER SOLSTICE RITUAL and JOURNAL PROMPTS:

Mark the turn of the Wheel into Winter this Saturday, 12/21 by stepping into the North Direction! Ways to honor this time include powering down: quiet reflection, journaling, and rest; walks alone are on the menu. This can be a busy season, compelling us to go-go-go. The Winter Solstice is your choicepoint to STOP. In fact, Solstice means Sun-Standing-Still.

WINTER SOLSTICE RITUAL :

What would really renew you? This time of year (the solstice) got conflated with Christian doctrine but the message is the same: Hope is Here, among us. God is With Us (Emmanuel). The Light IS Everlasting…and YOU too have a chance to be re-born. Who do you want to be next? What can you leave in the decaying leaves of Fall for a true re-birth? Who, or what has been dead-weight in your life?

MAKE the room dark (if you can do this ritual right at sunset on the 21st–the initiatory point of the longest night of the year–that would bring extra magic to this ritual).

LIGHT a white Candle and set your sacred space in your usual way–simply making the intention of honoring the Solstice is a great way to “tune-in.” Take a few deep breaths through your heart. “Arrive” in your space; if it is your tradition, call in your helpers–power animals, ancestors, angels, guides. Meditate as long as you’d like–give yourself the lusciousness of SPACE!

PREPARE your Sacred Water: In a pot that can handle boiling water, place a medley of dried herbs in the pot. Clarifying and cleansing herbs could be rosemary, cedar, lavender, sage, and eucalyptus. A sprig from your Christmas tree would be great as well. You want to place your candle as close to the pot as possible. Put a tea kettle on to boil water. While you wait for it to boil, write down a few thoughts and reflections to the questions above. A glass pyrex bowl would be better than a pot however I have cracked many “heat resistant” glass bowls!

WHEN YOUR WATER is ready(and when you are ready), pour the hot water over the herbs. You have a few choices as to how you can interact with this sacred water, now infused with clarifying and healing herbs:

Say a prayer into the water for what you are calling you, what you are ready to birth
Say a prayer for ALL that you are letting go of, and all that you are ready to say goodbye to. A good, simple template is “I lovingly let go of_____.” Or “I lovingly cut my karmic ties with______.” Be creative!
Say a prayer outloud for a new teacher, a new love, a new job, a new anything: We are in the time of the Christmas angels. Prayers spoken now through Epiphany (01/06) are heard BY MULTITUDES. Be intentional
Say a prayer of gratitude, offering outloud all that you have learned this year, all that you have accomplished, all that you have been blessed with

As you breathe in the various aromas of the herbs, watch the steam swirl and rise up into the air. Trust that your prayers are being carried to where they need to go. With presence, know that YOU are part of ALL THAT IS and that you are RE-BORN!

JOURNAL PROMPTS for the WINTER SOLSTICE (or anytime during the “12 days of Christmas”)

The Winter Solstice marks the sun moving into Capricorn, a sign known to “get things done.” If you have ever heard the saying “Those who succeed just simply didn’t give up,” they were probably talking about a Capricorn, who personifies “Perseverance.”

Are your plans on target, are they realistic, achievable?
What changes in your life are you ready to accept, if your wildest dreams came true?
Are you ready to receive what you hope to manifest? Are you approaching your goals by the best route?
Is other help available, whether in Spirit/spirit allies or physical mentors, friends, or teachers in your midst? Call them in
What factors are still not fully fleshed out yet? What needs a bit more time to simmer?

At year’s end, it is a great time to “take stock” of the year, reviewing any highlights, trials and triumphs. If we don’t stop to reflect, we can’t make sense of our unique experiences

Happy Solstice Soul Friends!

WWT: Ongoing circle at Avalon is well into its 2nd year! I want to thank my co-pilot and co-plotter for this nourishing circle where the original intention was to ‘express freely’ –we do that and so much more! Last week, on 12/15, Nancy and I offered a Healing Circle. I also provided a “Rituals for the Winter Solstice” mini-gift bag for all attendees. If you are curious, interested, or looking for a soulful connection with women, join us next month!

OUR NEXT WISE WOMEN TALKING CIRCLE will be on Sunday, January 19th from 12:30-3 PM. Details to come for our 2025 theme!

My co-pilot, Nancy Cole…what a year it has been!

BLACK BEAN SOUP recipe!

Black Bean soup is a lovely, vegan, GF treat to serve on the winter solstice! This particular dish can be as straightforward or spicy/extravagant as you want. I tend to enjoy a little heat in my food so keep that in mind…adjust as necessary!

Black Beans (4 x 15 oz cans)

1 medium sized onion

2 stalks celery

2-3 medium sized carrots

1 container of veg broth

1 x 15 oz can of diced tomatoes (Rotel is best! They’re already mexican flavored)

1 small can of chopped green chilis

1 red bell pepper, diced

1 medium sized sweet potato

3-4 cloves garlic

S/P-to taste (*add a little salt to the 1st step, ie. sauteeing the mirepoix)

1 tsp cumin

1 tsp oregano

1 tsp parsley

A shake or two of red pepper flakes (skip it if you don’t want spice)

A shake or two of chili powder (skip it if you don’t want spice)

A shake only of cayenne (skip it if you don’t want spice

Peel and cut sweet potato into thirds and boil; once it is “just soft” (ie, not boiled to death), drain water in colander and let cool

In a large non-stick frying pan or a dutch oven, heat up about 2-3 TBS of oil (olive oil best) on medium heat.

Make mirepoix by dicing the onion, celery and carrots; you can crush or finely chop the garlic. Mirepoix is a traditional base for all soups; essentially medium chop the “trio” (onion, celery and carrots) then crush the garlic in when the onion begins to look translucent. If your pan is too hot, you may get a little burn on these veggies–for this soup, that’s ok! It will add a subtle smoky flavor. But not too much! *Sprinkle a little salt over these veggies as they will “sweat” more easily and cook more easily if they are salted

Chop and/or dice the red pepper and add to pan

As these things cook down, you may add your other spices; cook for about 5 minutes

Turn off heat or remove from heat altogether and prep your beans:

__With 2 cans of the beans, place entire contents in a cuisinart and pulse until they come out a grayish color, with some bean ‘skins’ visible

__Dump /scrape ‘bean paste’ in the dutch oven where you sauteed your mirepoix; if you sauteed the mirepoix in a frying pan, transfer both mirepoix and bean paste to a big soup pot

__Open the last two cans of beans and dump those in the dutch oven or soup pot

*Note: if you do not own a cuisinart, a blender will probably do although I have never put beans in my blender

Add the entire container of veg broth

Your sweet potato should be nice and cooled off by now; dice it and place in soup pot or dutch oven.

Add the can of chopped green chilis and your can of Rotel diced Tomatoes

Slowly bring your soup up to a simmer. A WHISK will be your best friend during this process because that bean paste will want to sink to the bottom and stick. Stir in the LOVE of the returning sun!

Let your black bean soup simmer, stirring occasionally. Turn it off for at least 15-20 minutes and let it “get happy” as it ‘sets’ –lid is slightly on, or “askew” so some air can escape

ACCOUTREMENTS to black bean soup: (my favorite part, but many of these things will make it not-vegan, fyi):

__CILANTRO! Yum.

__A dollop or two of SOUR CREAM!!

__Shredded cheddar or your fav cheese (the vegan cheese options aren’t bad! Especially if they melt into the soup)

__Tortilla or chips (or both!)

__chopped scallions

*Note: It is visually appealing to “swirl” your sour cream in a spiral into the black bean soup. This reminds us of the ongoing cycle of life, the returning sun, the changing seasons. Remember: We welcome WINTER on the Solstice!! Time to comfort yourself with warm, nutritious foods!

*As with most soups, this one gets better after a couple days! Makes a killer huevos rancheros as well

ARE YOU STILL WITH ME, SOUL FRIEND?! I thank you kindly…

CSA BOXES FROM AVALON! ORDER NOW! ORGANIC PRODUCE for YOU!

Our beautiful farm boxes of Avalon are now available for the 2025 season! We want to thank all of our customers who purchased a farm box last season–we truly could not do this without you!

Drop-off in Portland for any who can’t make it out to Hollis!
Half-shares (every other week-) available

Uncategorized

Soulful Solstice, Here You Are

December 21, 2021December 21, 2021 Mary Katherine Spain

Winter Solstice Newsletter 2021

“We get to carry each other…”

~U2, “One”

It is a privilege to take care of each other. Bono didn’t write We Carry Each Other; he wrote We GET to Carry Each Other, like it’s a special mission, a task entrusted to us by Creator. We are not obliged; no one is going to lose their house or job if they don’t stop for a motorist on the side of the road, stick a fiver in the hand of that homeless guy on the corner or forget to bring a lonely neighbor a piece of pie. But we do anyway. We GET to take care of each other, to carry one another through the times we’re living in.

One thing that Winter brings on in me is the sense of stillness, of quiet. When we think about the privilege of taking care of each other, let’s not forget what a privilege it is to take care of ourselves. To compost the guilt we may feel when we politely say, ‘No thank you’ to invites and events and classes and workshops and dates, outings, concerts, or shows. Even a walk with a friend might feel, for some, a bit too much of a commitment. Winter is a time for receiving. We GET to settle in, pour some hot water over our favorite teabag and keep it simple. We might go to bed at 7:30, 8 PM–every night, if we want. If you’re lucky enough to have a beloved furbaby and a fireplace, BONUS! You’ve got a recipe for deep self-care.

This year, like last, has been one for the books. A real doozie! In my youthful 50 years of being on the planet, I have never witnessed so much uncertainty by so many–myself included. Do you know ANYONE not experiencing regular waves of despair if not measurable anxiety right now? I know lots of people–strong people–who are doing everything they can to stay hopeful, to “keep their vibration up.” These are the same people who are giving themselves permission to “feel it all.” And we know what happens when we deny an aspect of our reality or our lived experience: it gets jammed into the Shadow which then has free-reign to incite us to act unconsciously.

But what if ‘feeling it all’ sounds horrible, like the very words might be code for complete destabilization? Haven’t we seen and felt enough? There’s the rub, the riddle of 2021 (and probably our challenge for 2022 as well): How do we allow the full gamut of feelings and emotions to be acknowledged and possibly even felt and still function? How do we avoid shutting down completely if we are courageous enough in staring down the political circus, Covid-hell, tornadoes, sex-trafficing, starving polar bears, refugees fleeing war, refugees fleeing gang violence, wildfires gulping up great swaths of land, rivers and ocean water choking with debris and plastic, addictions of every kind, burnt-out teachers (God Bless’em), heroic (and also burnt out) doctors and nurses…I could go on. Michael told me that last Friday, December 17th, was ‘National Shoot Up Your School Day.’ I don’t even know what to do with that. And I haven’t even mentioned the climate calamity.

I call this ability to NOT turn away from injustice while maintaining self-dominion BEING A WAKEFUL WITNESS. Shamans are especially good at it, as they are extremely sensitive yet their possession of The Self–in all of its forms–is intact, strong. I also have borrowed a term from Caitlin Mathews for this ability: Walking the Middle Way. To stand up, be seen, feel, respond with compassion, be okay with ambiguity…and to understand THOUGHT precedes FORM.

What you focus on is where your energy is.

We are at a choice point, folks. Well, we’ve been at several choice points over the last 20 months! Our reality is crumbling, and I’m not interested in sugar coating it. I AM interested in learning more about being a wakeful witness, about walking the middle way. In shamanic terms, we are experiencing a global dismemberment: when the psyche is torn apart so that something new and more expansive can emerge. Since we’ve essentially finished Year Two of the break-down stage, can we please just remember the old adage of psychotherapists: Things happen FOR you instead of TO you.

And let’s be careful and cognizant of aligning with language that talks about “when this is all over” or “when things go back to normal.” This language sets us up for disempowerment because it constructs a reality around the idea that the present time is somehow inferior to some other future “time.” We don’t want our language to be a delivery system that gives our power away.

Lucky for us, it’s Winter. A time to scale down our delusions and trust our insights and instincts. Not everyone likes the cold–I get it. But from an archetypal perspective, we actually have a chance in this frozen, bleak period to surrender to What Is, to practice being the Wakeful Witness. Not to cowboy up and tell one another “You got this!”

We get to find out what lasts in the winter. And…Only Love Lasts. Everything else is eaten, and dies with the cold.

How potent can you make your inner life this winter?

TIPS FOR A NOURISHING and SOULFUL WINTER

Start your day off in a way that you cherish. Sleep resets us. A restful night’s sleep can make the day ahead exciting and filled with magic. However, when we don’t get good, uninterrupted sleep, things feel a bit off and we’re prone to look at life’s limitations instead of life’s possibilities. Now, as a woman who feels like she won the lottery when she gets a really good night’s sleep, I decided to be more mindful of how my day starts–regardless of how I’m waking up. Whether it’s lighting a candle and making a simple intention for the day, sipping coffee alone or with your journal or getting right on the stationary bike, start your day YOUR WAY. When you do this, you’re sending a message of empowerment to your operating system. YOU get to set the tone. If it’s not “your” day, then whose is it?
Ask for help. A friend of mine who suffers from chronic depression and chronic pain said to me a few years ago, “Pain makes you pay attention.” If you’ve ever had a back injury, a migraine, sciatica or even an ingrown fingernail, it’s hard to ignore it. Once the pain is gone, we feel like we’ve gotten our lives back! I agree with my friend–pain colors all other experiences.

But what about emotional pain? It’s much easier to ignore than physical pain because it is nebulous and unformed. It shows up like an invisible rash you’re too self-conscious to scratch. It might look like depression, guilt, overreacting, over-eating (or limiting food to try and control something), binge-watching Netflix, sloth, self-criticism, reluctance to allow undesirable feelings to emerge, judgment of self and others, over-serving with drugs or alcohol..the list goes on. Where it is hard to modulate to physical pain, it’s kinda easy to modulate to emotional pain. Especially these days when the low-hanging fruit is about the only thing we have to nosh on.

In the cold, long night of Winter, in the blanket of Yuletide, ask yourself the hard question: Where have I gotten conditioned to my emotional pain? If the lens is muddy, ask a trusted friend where they think you’ve gotten too accustomed to the stubborn creature of emotional pain. Treat your emotional pain like you would a debilitating back injury: see a doctor, or in this case, a therapist. Ask for help through prayer, hot-yoga, automatic writing–whatever speaks to you! Allow your emotional pain the attention it deserves so that it can dissipate.

Attention is, afterall, just love.

Give it up to your teachers. I took a workshop online (Zoom, of course) over the spring with one of my beloved teachers, Barbara Bloecher. It was on the Medicine Wheel and Barbara opened the circle with a note of thanks to all of her teachers, especially the one who had taught her the most about the Medicine Wheel. I loved this idea! And adopted this practice of thanking one’s teachers as a way to open sacred space.

The other day when I was closing my yoga practice, I remembered this exercise of gratitude. I sat up, got comfy, closed my eyes and started to thank all of my teachers. I started with my shamanic teachers, my therapist, my dream coach, my sweet husband. I went through family members then old bosses and co-workers. Then the children in my life, kids I babysat 40 years ago! I thanked friends that taught me something in my younger life–a jewelry-maker friend who’d shown me how to bead. I thanked my ex-boyfriends, grade school teachers, even the mailman! I thanked the weather, the seasons! There are literally so many teachers in our lives! And I didn’t just think about them or “send them gratitude.” I got really in touch with how they showed up, what they shared with me specifically, how I have integrated their wisdom and the gifts that they freely gave.

By the end of this tour of gratitude, I could have blinded someone with the light that was beaming out of me! I was swimming in unconditional love.

And it made me think about how giving one’s time can save someone, can make a difference that truly changes someone’s life.

So, this Solstice, take a moment to FEEL what a privilege it is to take care of each other and yourself. Light a candle and reflect on all that you have learned from 2021 and when you blow that candle out, imagine all of those lessons firmly anchored inside of you. And then, go outside and look up. Look to the Ancient Ones calling us home to ourselves. And know that you are supported, even in these dark days of quiet contemplation and uncertainty.

Be watchful, and witness.

Shine On,
Mary Katherine

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!

After a very hard decision to not teach at UNE this Spring, a fantastic opportunity fell in my lap! I am teaming up and co-teaching a series called Sacred Storytelling Immersion with House of Indigo Publisher and Intuitive Coach Jessica Verrill. Jess and I have known each other for over 10 years and are excited to collaborate on this project!

If you have something to say, wisdom to share through written expression, and are ready to RISE UP and be seen, heard, and acknowledged for the soulful seeker you are, this class is for you!

Class starts in January 2022! To learn more or to register, click here

COMING SOON!

My calendar is sprouting with possibilities for 2022! I am currently planning and fine-tuning events, workshops, ceremony and several classes here at Avalon and beyond. From hula-hooping parties to glamping beta-testers to retreats at Borestone to drum making workshops (and SO MUCH MORE!), I will be letting you know through these newsletters as well as my website calendar what’s on the horizon. Stay tuned!

Looking for that perfect stocking stuffer? Nine Pillars has your Gift Certificate ready to go!

And finally…
From time to time, I like to direct my readers to the Resources page on my website. It’s a landing spot for several practitioners I know and work with. Do you need some acupuncture, chiropractic care? How about a private yoga lesson? Maybe you’re in search of a new therapist? Check out the list; it may get you through the holidays and beyond…

RESOURCES