Hello and Happy Fall!

It’s been a minute. 

Generally, I send my newsletters out at those cherished stops of the wheel (Solstices, Equinoxes and cross-quarter sabbats). However, the Summer Solstice came and went and no newsletter. Then Lughnasasa snuck up on me, and no newsletter. Argh! I was determined to get my “news” out for the Fall Equinox. 

The fact is: A lot has been going on, and the following is a very personal and very revealing “update” on me. I have trimmed down some details for sake of brevity but suffice it to say that the summer of 2022 proved to be one of the most difficult periods of life I’ve experienced. 

I’ll start my story with some background: A much-anticipated training I took at the end of May with Animas Valley Institute launched me into an initiation, a personal crisis, a dark night of the soul. 

The training was around mirroring, and the art of council. I had wanted to learn how to guide using the techniques of mirroring and council ever since I was guided by two phenomenal women I’ll call Fran and Tiffany. Located on a remote island off the coast of Maine, in June of 2007, I participated in a women-only retreat designed for any woman who wanted to have a ‘soul encounter’ through an immersion in nature.

The practice of immersing oneself in nature, walking with the spirit of the island, consisted of being outside, fasting from 6 AM to 5 PM. Once we returned to the meeting place at 5 PM, we broke our fast in silence then joined one another in council (there were around twelve women). Being in council meant speaking from the heart, and listening from the heart. And each and every one of us told our story of the day: what we experienced, what signs and signals nature offered us, what bubbled up that was difficult to sit with. To really get to the core, the heart of the matter, one must be still. Sadly, stillness is not a practice or a propensity anyone in the modern world is very familiar with.

That fateful retreat led me to do many more retreats with Fran. I’ve not only participated numerous times in what she calls ‘Walks’ or ‘Wanders’, I’ve experienced dream councils where Fran guides you through the territory of a particular dream you feel called to investigate. Both with dream circles as well as nature councils, the soul-charged technique of mirroring is employed.

When was the last time you SAT on Mother Earth for eleven hours? To be instead of do, to rest and reflect instead of organize and execute is a gift only wise people give themselves. But the juicy part was the mirroring: after you shared your story with the group, Fran and Tiffany re-told your story back to you, implementing metaphor and tossing about images in a way that told the story under the story. Fran might mention a poem from the opening council the night before; Tiffany might back-pedal to something you mentioned in passing, in casual conversation over dinner. It’s really hard to describe how powerful this experience is; it takes a skilled guide to hold that much space with active listening and mental tracking. And it’s transformative. I knew what ‘happened’ to me out there but after sharing it in circle, with witnesses and Fran and Tiffany working their magic?! So healing. Hence, from that very first circle, I was hooked. I wanted to hold space in that way, on those deeply engaging levels.

It is revelatory what becomes of the human mind when the only demands of the body are sitting, watching, listening, observing. With no distractions, the soul speaks. On a wander, you are encouraged to ‘follow the thread’ of how your soul is nudging you toward this reflection or that; if it’s freedom you’ve been craving, maybe you take off your shoes, your shirt, your bra and dance around. The edge you might be walking could be one of grief, of loss, maybe even anger so you build an altar made of seaweed and pine cones to honor these emotions. With the ego having a time-out, other systems of engagement are able to come forth. And our souls get busy inciting a sense of wonder, of curiosity that easily takes over our reality. Plus, the extended stay in nature allows for one to hear the innermost truths about ourselves that are waiting to be revealed. Whether you want to hear them or not…

Fast forward fifteen years and it’s 2022. I was finally ready to commit to taking my long-ago desire to be a guide, a mirror for others, to the next level. The technique of mirroring is a staple for the programs at Animas Valley Institute, an organization based in Durango, Colorado and founded by Bill Plotkin. An organization where vision quests are the substantial bulk of their offerings, AVI also offers a variety of retreats and apprenticeships in guiding. If I was going to be a Fran, I needed to start with some of their foundational workshops.

I landed on “The Art of Council and Mirroring” which was scheduled for the last week in May, in Vermont. I did a quick Google Map search and figured I could make the drive from Hollis to Shaftsbury, VT in about four and a half hours. The facility was called Spirit Hollow and was run impeccably by a woman who is an Animas-trained guide. I’ll stop short of sharing everything that transpired in those five days at Spirit Hollow because, frankly, I’m not sure I have the language to get anywhere close to do it justice (but more for the reason of confidentiality). That much “time-out-of-time” does something funky to one’s perceptions, and much of what I experienced happened to all of those in attendance. At the risk of sounding cliche, I’ll just say: you had to be there. I’m not talking about levitating or roaming the woods naked with deer antlers affixed to my head. I’m talking about something much more extraordinary than that: the Descent to Soul. If you think sitting alone fasting on an island sounds pretty intense, imagine the immersion happening for five days, albeit not fasting. Imagine being in company with some of the most articulate, passionate people you could ever meet. Imagine not being able to get to know them by asking the (prohibitive) questions of where are you from, what do you do and the like. These more authentic ways of interaction split my heart wide open, and made carvings on my psyche with a spiritual precision that unlocked something I hadn’t anticipated: meeting an alternative Me.

But was it a meeting, or a remembering? Again, it would be difficult to attempt to explain how and why the emergence of my soul identity revealed itself. A descent to soul often includes meeting your shadow. And meeting one’s shadow is hardly pleasant. Who wants to cozy up to every single insecurity they’ve ever known, be shown every single one of their methods of protection? And! After seeing these things, try to puzzle out what replaces modes of protection, once the reasoning behind those behaviors is lovingly unraveled and understood, in the face of Awakening? What, by God, can sustain a soul after this type of spiritual workout?

Trying to answer these things is one reason this newsletter is three months late. I walked into a mental, emotional and spiritual crisis. Admittedly, I enjoy evoking hyperbole for the sake of a good yarn but I do not exaggerate when I say: I initiated myself into a dark night of the soul. Whether I was ready to look at, sit with and admire the contours of soul and shadow mattered not–I was swimming in it, swinging from vine to vine in the costly endeavor of seeing all aspects of myself. I unwittingly unburdened myself with my persona–that adoption of conditioning that churns out our personality. Like any good dark night, this one asked me Who are you? Are you the sum of all of your woundings, your triggers? Is your coat of arms a little too snug? Lay it down, I heard over and over again.

No mud, no lotus. If you want to touch the flame, be prepared to be burned. And nothing compares to that flame! When you come to terms with your shadow, you get to own it. No one tells you this is one of the most empowering feelings in the world! Yes, you have to go through hell to realize it. And another irony is that I had no idea what to do with myself upon re-entering my life after the training. Well, that’s not exactly true. I thought I had the world by its balls, as the strict review of who and what was or was not working in my life got underway. The saturation of soul in the Vermont woods was the beginning of diluting the bullshit out of my life, of leeching the untruths I’d gotten accustomed to. I chucked paltry relationships out the window, attempting to purge anything or anyone who might not be able to handle the New Me, although I hardly had a handle on who that was.

This next bit is difficult to write and I’ll start by saying BE MINDFUL on your first week of enlightenment because you very well may discard people who do, in fact, care about you and you just didn’t realize it, or know it. Or, maybe you simply haven’t seen those people in a long time and are mistaking the absence of connection as a ‘fake’ relationship. For the love of God, do not slash and burn the way I did upon re-entry. When I realized that my mental and spiritual house-cleaning was a rather astute way for my ego to continue its protection routine, I doubled-down on my humility. If you think a dark night of the soul is unbearable, try putting relationships back together as the fallout of your Awakening looms ever larger.

And here’s where my story reveals what I may never understand, and I am finally okay with that because life doesn’t come with a user’s guide. One way in which I tried to honor the Wake Up Call I received in my descent to soul was to regularly check my motivation. Again, once the conditioning starts to lift and you can stand witness to all the reasons you did this or said that at any particular moment in life, you are left with wondering about new conditioning. You may go about seeking mentors, wise ones who have been there. You realize you are a tabula rosa at this stage, a blank slate eager to get going on some kind of window dressing–at least–in order to function in the world. However, Disorientation, as described in Campbell’s Hero’s Journey, only promises this: Be prepared to NOT be prepared. I ask you: why would anyone sign up for this willingly?

Again: no mud, no lotus. As Joni Mitchell once said of her songwriting, ‘It’s the sand that makes the pearl.’ We, too, are left to grind away at some unnamable irritation as we stare, drooling, half out of our minds, at the blank slate that is suddenly our lives. If you’ve been lucky enough to have a legit dark night of the soul, then you know what I am talking about. The old adage bears repeating here: Enlightenment is not for the weak.

There’s no “right” way to enter an initiation, or to go through one. After Vermont, returning to the construct of a life that held the unenlightened woman has been challenging on good days and torturous on bad days. But feeling empowered to own your shadow is a game-changer. However, knowing how to function in the present-day world (yikes!), carrying my newfound awareness, is a feat not many are able to actually succeed at. I’m not sure I’m succeeding at it. Not by a long shot. It could be said that this is exactly where enlightenment takes hold, unlocks something inside of us that escorts us to the edge of madness, then pulls us back a wee bit.

We will never really comprehend what happens to someone in their encounter with soul, with shadow, and so if you’re still reading this, I thank you for honoring my journey. We can maybe get the gist of another person’s crisis, and we can certainly sympathize. ‘Intrigued’ is also a possibility but we can’t understand why the initiated is all of a sudden in the breakdown lane, unable to make sense of life.

And that’s because life doesn’t make sense. I was a mess. Depression, lethargy, feeling like there was nothing in my brain–like no thoughts to contend with! I felt erased, and I was the one holding the enormous pencil. The distractions and amnesia spray of the modern world keep most of us locked into a quasi-belief that we could make sense of life if only, therefore we keep hustling. Having seen the source of the suffering, the initiate might install some new ways of being in the world because, really, what is there to lose? I don’t have to tell you: not everyone in your life will appreciate this move. Some folks might be outwardly cheering you on but secretly hoping for the day when “everything goes back to normal.”

It’s personal, so let it be. My antidote for recalibrating not only to a “new me” but to the process of destabilization with the hopes of designing some fresh conditioning has been mutli-faceted, and I will save you the details. I also have a LOT of people to thank; I had to say goodbye to some people in my life as well. One of the guiding principles for the inner-work that AVI advocates (and the essential invitation during my training) was a simple/not simple question: What is your deepest longing? The Animas guides repeated this question over and over again. How I dance with that question on any given day is unpredictable, unscripted. Most of the time, my deepest longing is to not suffer this dark night any longer.

And I truly feel the dawn is coming, the hours of darkness are quantifiable now. This summer, I met with Fran to unpack my experience with AVI and the training in Vermont. She offered me the great gift of mirroring the experience! Another level of integration was achieved. One thing that she said to me that day struck me so profoundly, and it has been my mantra henceforth: Respect the pace of the unfolding.

We do not know where the soul wants to take us. If we are very lucky, we can catch a glimpse, a flash of light coming through the forest. Surrender to the longing, to your longings. Believe me, it has nothing to do with being brave or courageous. As I swim to the surface, I do not regret going under.

Shine On, Friends.

Oh Shining One….

GREETINGS on this LUGHNASA!    I tried something different this month. Something that scared me. I leaned in, and asked my Mom to see me. And you know what? She did.    The picture above is my mom sitting at my kitchen table, holding a prayer bundle. After nearly two years of long-distance connection only, Mom made the trek from North Carolina to Maine a few weeks ago. She wanted to see me and Michael, our new home. And meet Molly!    Two years is a long time to go without seeing a parent, especially a mother. Especially my mother. My mother happens to be my #1 Fan, which I think everyone needs. Everyone needs one person to champion them, unconditionally. My mom is that person. She has always praised me, cheering me on in difficult jobs, relationships or personal struggles. As a raucous and rebellious teenager, she never judged me or told me I was out of line, out of my mind, or embarrassing–which, looking back, she sure could have said those things. Mom nurtured my friends as well, and while she had her “favorites” of the men I dated, she never dismissed any of them or stated disapproval. And believe me, there were a lot.    Naturally, I wanted to make her visit special. My mom loves baseball so Michael ordered some Sea Dogs tickets. I planned a day of planting annuals because my mom loves her some flowers! She also wanted to see my best friend, Karen Lamb, and her kids. And she wanted to see a special lady named Anne L., who I used to work with at Portland Gastroenterology. I wanted other folks to meet my mom so I planned a FOR-REAL dinner party. Finally! I’d have the sound of loud conversations and clinking glasses in my home! (Good riddance, Covid)    Sadly, Mom was a bit under the weather while she was here. Sinus congestion with a rugged-sounding cough made us worry enough to go to Urgent Care and get a Covid test. Thankfully, she was negative. She just felt awful, tired, run down. We skipped the Sea Dogs game (too wet) and I decided to cancel the dinner party. I wanted to create a peaceful, restful environment for her to heal, recover. And she did see Karen and Anne and even Michael’s child, Charlie.    The time that she was here–about seven days–fell over the new moon in Cancer, on July 9th. The new moon, for me, is a time of ritual “seeding”–setting intentions for what I want to grow and manifest. Normally, this ritual would look like me setting sacred space with some incense, candles and calling in the Directions. I would also journey to a helping spirit (Journeying is a shamanic technique I learned long ago to connect with the imaginal realm; the guides who help me there know much better than I what seeds to plant for my highest good!). Once the information is revealed, I may place physical seeds such as apple seeds or pumpkin seeds in a jar or bowl of dirt, tobacco or marbles. The sacred action is symbolic, meaning it is a stand-in for my intention and devotion towards nurturing what helps me grow.    Since my mom was here, I wanted to share this ritual with her. It didn’t feel right for me to sneak off and disappear to perform this important monthly rite in my office. And although I wasn’t sure how she would respond, I knew I wanted to invite her into my world.    I was raised in a Christian home. Baptist (and then Presbyterian). We went to Sunday school followed by church service every Sunday. We’d leave the house around 9 AM and get back around 12:30 PM. Did I mention every Sunday? You had to be really sick to skip church, and no one in my family ever skipped church.    I am so proud and grateful for the religious foundation the church gave me. Although I do not go to church anymore or identify as a Christian, I often pray to Jesus and Mother Mary and also to a ton of angels. Today, my church is the land, the stream, the mountain. The cry of a hungry Red-Tailed Hawk, the glistening dew on a spider’s web. I meet God in a lot of different spots these days and that program fits me, suits my earthy soul just fine.    But my mom is still very much a church lady. She goes to her Presbyterian church in Greenville, N.C. regularly and has, at other times, served as deacon and elder at other churches. She says Merry Christmas to people at the holidays and does not apologize for it. And she reads her Bible, and prays.    Because I wanted both my mom and Michael to participate in my new moon ritual, I decided we’d make a prayer bundle together, or despacho. “A what?” Mom asked. I said the word again, and spelled it for her. She immediately googled it on her phone! According to the website The Four Winds, a despacho is “a prayer bundle or offering…that holds symbolic elements and the prayers of the participants.”   After the package is wrapped up and tied, it can either be burned or buried. To create a despacho, you need materials. You need biodegradable items, preferably from nature. Things that will easily burn, or things that can easily biodegrade. The materials we used were: tobacco, corn meal, lavender, pine chips, salt, chocolate, dried flower petals, dried cedar, and sage.    You also need a big piece of paper, or tissue paper to serve as the base. This time, I asked my mom to write the words, ‘All Is Well’ on a paper plate. We placed that on the paper, face-down. This “cradle” would hold all of the other offerings.    I explained the procedure to my mom: take a pinch of one of the offerings, hold it while you speak the prayer, then place it on the paper plate. She wanted to know if we were praying for anyone in particular. I told her we could pray for whatever and whomever we wanted.    So we prayed for our loved ones and family members, friends and neighbors. We prayed for the environment and the government, both local and national. We prayed for God’s creatures, the cleanliness of rivers, for the people who had to move out of this beautiful home Michael and I now live in. We prayed lots of gratitude prayers for the front-liners in the Covid fight, for all of those therapists out there, listening to horror stories. We asked for those who are depressed, addicted, or lonely to find just one person who cared, or could find them some help. We prayed for the “state of the world” in all of her messiness. We prayed for the little babies, those just coming onto the Earth scene, faced with who-knows-what for a viable planet. We prayed for hope, instead of fear, to trickle down to those who have hate in their hearts. We prayed for teachers, everywhere, of every ilk.    We rotated around and around until nearly all of the offerings were gone. Mom and I both were shamelessly letting the tears roll down our faces. I think it was Michael who, when it got to his about fiftieth time, said, “I think that’s all I have for today.” Then, we thanked the Spirit of the New Moon in Cancer—the sign of the Mother–for listening and taking in all of our prayers and offerings. I tied it up, decorated it with some lavender and a piece of driftwood in the shape of a coyote’s head. It sat in my living room under the watchful protection of Brigid, the Celtic Goddess of Hearth and Home, of Poetry and Healing, until the following full moon, which was July 23rd. This moon in Aquarius was appropriately named the Blessing Moon.    Although Mom was not here when Michael and I burned it, her presence was very much with us. It is said that as a prayer bundle burns, the prayers are released, the smoke carrying the prayers where they need to go. Fire is the Sacred Alchemist, turning “this” into “that” and never going back to What Was.    After the despacho ceremony, I thanked my mom for being willing to try something new and different. I stopped short of giving her the “this-is-how-I-worship-now” speech–a willful daughter trying to be seen, and accepted for Who She Is Now. I didn’t do that because, honestly, I didn’t have to. What we had created together exceeded the need to differentiate between Her Way of worshipping and My Way. It was important to create something sacred together, and it was really important for me to share my spiritual practice with my mom.    Why did it feel so vulnerable to introduce this thing to mom? I think it’s because we are especially protective of the things in life that are important to us, that are extensions of our soul. Everyone harbors a fear of rejection, as it is human nature. But my mother has always “gotten me” no matter what because she has always loved me for exactly who I am.   And that is the greatest gift you can ever give anyone.     Blessings on this 1st Harvest! May the bright, shining gifts of Lughnasa rain down upon your path. May you show up with your vulnerable self, as I did with my mom, to dismantle the illusion of separation.  Shine on! ~Mary Katherine    FEATURED PRACTITIONER: KAT BEAUDOIN   I met Kat at a shamanism class nearly 10 years ago.  We’ve explored many worlds since that first meeting and become great friends. In addition to her shamanic practice focusing on sacred space design and tools such as the Medicine Wheel, Kat practices Reiki and The Bars/Access Consciousness, but her long-time passion is “The Work that Reconnects,”  a practice she discovered in the 1990s and studied in 2017 while on a year-long solo cross-country sabbatical.  “The Work that Reconnects” was created by Systems Thinking expert, Buddhist Scholar and Nuclear Activist Joanna Macy, who Kat had the honor of studying with while she was traveling in the Southwest.    Joanna Macy states that “The Work that Reconnects (TWTR) helps people discover and experience their innate connection with each other and the self-healing powers of the web of life, transforming despair and overwhelm into inspired, collaborative action.”  To Kat’s way of thinking “TWTR is a framework for approaching our deepest and most protected feelings about what is happening to our planet and its inhabitants.  It relies on attributes assigned to the four cardinal directions as a platform for integration, within and with one another.”    Kat has more than 35 years of community-based facilitation and group work; she left her management position in State Government in 2011 in support of the Great Turning.  She conducts workshops in private settings and for corporate as well as non-profit groups. She lives in Augusta and can be reached by phone or text at 207-446-8099 or by email at katbeau50@gmail.com. For more information about The Work that Reconnects, visit www.workthatreconnects.org.    *No classes or ceremonies will be offered in August; please keep an eye out for September events and offerings happening in September and October here at Avalon Acres!

Walking makes you wise. The guidance one can receive while walking about in nature, putting one foot in front of the other, is nothing new of course; different cultures all over the world know that fresh air coupled with movement “clears the head.” Charles Dickens walked twelve miles a day around London for his writing break. This spin around town as a bi-ped did not require Dickens’ stroll to be ‘in nature’ although that is where I receive most of my guidance. And, if I can get more specific: climbing a mountain is a sure way to feel grounded, guided and altogether energetically re-set.

Although our big walk is usually taken once a week at Little Ossipee Mountain, this week I wanted to introduce my pooch Molly to the beach! She’s never been to the ocean before and it was time to take her. In addition to introducing Molly to the beach, I myself wanted to commune with the ocean. We’re made of the elements and, at times, our mental, physiological and spiritual alert systems crave them: FIRE transmutes old, worn-out patterns and sparks creative energy; AIR re-introduces us to “fresh thinking” and stimulates mental functions; EARTH works to ground us and stabilize our often taxed brain and body; and WATER welcomes in flexibility, flow and a return to our emotional truths.

This pull to the ocean may not have been all that mysterious: Living where I do now, in the most idyllic, high-vibing rural paradise of my dreams, EARTH is very present. Was I possibly feeling too grounded? Perhaps there’s been some emotional territory I have been avoiding that I sensed water could ‘unjam.’ All water is symbolic of the Feminine but the ocean especially is BIG MOTHER ENERGY. Maybe I was missing my mom (who I haven’t seen in well over a year, almost two!) 

A bit more about the paradise I have the privilege of stewarding with my husband Michael: Avalon Acres (as we have deemed it) is fifty acres of mostly woods with farmland and wildlife trails. There’s an apple orchard, wide open fields, vegetable gardens and mature landscaping. The old farmhouse has charm and ‘alarm’–always plenty of things to improve! And we’re on a dirt road–nice and quiet. In other words, this ‘property’ is truly a sanctuary. The word ‘Avalon’ means ‘isle of apples;’ the legendary Avalon is where King Arthur retreated to have his battle wounds nursed by the irrepressible Morgan Le Fay, his half-sister, who was assisted by her bevy of talented high priestesses. Morgan and her eight sisters healed Arthur–body and soul–restoring him to health and enabling him to return to his duties as King. In Arthurian legend, Avalon became associated with magical beings and mystical experiences, where the secret Mysteries of the Feminine were alive and well, where personal gnosis [self-revelation through devotion to spiritual matters] and reverence for the Earth were freely practiced. Those who sought a different kind of healing than what the court physician could provide found themselves making a pilgrimage to Avalon. 

Avalon Acres, in Hollis, Maine, has a similar vision. We have mighty big dreams to execute and foresee this ‘isle of apples’ to also be a place where those who are feeling “embattled” with life might come to be restored. When the only safe place to go during Covid was OUTSIDE, the natural world leapt to greet us, hold us, and welcome us back. We are at home in nature because we are nature–not separate from anything else that also lives and dies under the sun. We forget that the pacifier of Netflix [or, fill in your preferred entertainment] used to come in the form of words leaving the mouth of a trusted elder, a wise grandmother or a experienced traveler. We humans would listen on pins and needles to these words with nothing to interrupt the storyteller but the sound of a popping fire or stifled giggles at the amusing parts. Once upon a time, we lived outside, among the furry faces and weather, with an eye to what Bear was eating and how Crow was flying. We had a common aptitude, a connection to nature because we did not see ourselves as any different. 

I’d like to return to this All-Knowingness with the natural world. And so the guidance I sought prior to Molly’s beach introduction was around how to NOT feel overwhelmed with the job of executing the vision that Michael and I have for our Avalon. We want to garden and maybe have some animals; we foresee renting the barn out for private events; he wants to re-invigorate his Naked Shakespeare ensemble and dreams of the Bard’s words spoken under the stars; I want to hold vision quests for all of my clients and friends who need that type of sustained spirit-saturation in a safe container; we’d like to sell our produce, maybe make apple cider and have yoga classes, open-mic music nights, writer retreats, Highland games, fundraisers for the community–the list goes on!! There is a lot of potential here but we can’t do everything (not all at once, anyway). Plus, there’s no magic cave with unending amounts of money in it–we need to be strategic. Dreaming Big for two risk takers is the easy part but we need to prioritize!

Earlier in the week, I’d had a near panic attack thinking about the to-do’s–not just with the aforementioned Dream-List but the work of owning a big property. Only eight months ago, we lived in a tiny, posh, maintenance-free condo in Portland. This change has been massive, to put it lightly. My panic attack was right on time–I was consumed with all there is to do. It’s easy to do, isn’t it? No matter what our ‘to-do’ lists hold, it weighs on us. 

So feeling the panic, I asked for help. Not sure what other people do but when I get stressed, I pray. Spirit was real clear: “You are always striving, barreling to meet that ‘perfect day’ in the future, when everything is ‘all set’ all taken care of. When the to-do list is done. When there’s no more thinking. Striving towards that imaginary day in the future only pulls your energy away from Your Present Wholeness.” This made so much sense to me! I think many of us ‘strive towards that perfect day.’ We intend to improve our life by enacting certain choices we hope will bring stability, pleasure, happiness, a sense of accomplishment. So, how do we avoid striving (and the energy sink it perpetuates) and still get things done? If we expect to see our dreams and visions realized, how do we not strive? 

When we left for the beach, this was what I was hoping to get some perspective on. Before we were even half-way down Broadturn Road on the way to Pine Point, I had been given two answers to this question! Life’s Instruction manual, courtesy Spirit. 

Number 1: The first thing one must do to avoid taking too many trips into the future is regular embodiment exercises, preferably ones that involve an awareness on the breath. Yoga, kundalini yoga, Tai Chi, Qigong. Even dancing for long periods will anchor the energy of the body IN THE BODY (where it belongs). It’s not the body that strives and yearns for that imaginary day in the future when things are perfect–it’s the mind that does that! The body is limited to cells and blood and bone and bodily functions. It’s happy to live in the vitality it harbors. The mind, on the other hand, can do either–stay in the present (in the body) or truck off down the road into the future (or the past-). The body can’t leave the body (nor does it want to). What Spirit was telling me was that I barter away access to my energy when I think and ruminate and worry too much about the future, or ‘all there is to do.’ What counters that tendency is the practices listed above. (Great news! I love yoga and dancing and Qigong!) 

Number 2: Do every task, even the very mundane ones, with Gratitude. When we bring a sense of appreciation to the action steps of realizing dreams (or washing that sink full of dirty dishes-), our hearts pop wide open. When our hearts are open, we are present. When our hearts are open, we are present to our Present Wholeness! It is super hard to escape the moment when your heart is open. Try it sometime. Try to leave the present when your heart is spacious, not constricted with worry or grief. And when you are in deep gratitude for What Is, your heart is open. And there is always something to be thankful for. 

And so, I commit to trying this. It’s really not  that difficult when you think about it. I’d rather stay in my Present Wholeness and have easy access to my body’s vitality. The present is where we make decisions and that is where the decisions we make get carried out! There is no perfect day in the future; only the perfect Now. 

See you at Avalon. And Blessings to you from Father Sky! Enjoy the longest day of the year on Sunday June 20th!

Today, May 11th, marks the New Moon in Taurus. A new moon is when the Sun and the Moon are sitting side by side to each other. We do not have the sun’s light shining upon the moon, as they are next to each other in the sky, therefore it is considered “dark.” In two weeks, there will be a full moon, when the sun shines upon the moon, revealing that which have been planted at the new moon…

The 9 Pillars of the Divine Feminine came to me during a new moon meditation. The new moon in Libra, October 2018, to be exact. It is remarkable to think that the Pillars came to me via Athena, the Goddess of Wisdom, Justice and Mercy, at the time of Libra–the great Balancer. If you can imagine the scales of justice held by Athena, you have a picture of the nature of that new moon.

Our moon today is in the sign of Taurus, the first Earth sign of the Zodiac. If Aries is “I AM” then Taurus is “I sense.” It is, in fact, a tremendously sensual sign, and time. A new moon wants us to slow down, to be quiet. The metaphorical “seed planting” means to set an intention, to watch the purpose of that intention grow with the moon. In Taurus, we are invited to appreciate the Earthy pleasures of being alive, to sit and take in a beautifully manicured garden, to walk slowly through that garden touching each and every one of the flowers, to send deep appreciation to the natural world.

In this meditation, I invite you to get comfortable, and sit somewhere quiet. Take some nice long breaths before hand and imagine you have a root stalk between your sit bones. Send its column of connection down into the Mother. You may even want to lie down for this meditation, and burn some incense. Taurus is ruled by Venus and anything we can do to make ourselves feel more beautiful, cozy, and at ease is a good thing to cultivate at this time.

In this meditation, you will meet the Spirit of the New Moon in Taurus to seek guidance on what kind of “seeds” [intentions] you are in most need of planting today. Be open to what she has to share–we are prone to “know” what we think we need; Spirit often operates on a different level than that! So relax, sit back and breathe!

To listen to the New Moon in Taurus meditation, click this link.

EMBODY YOUR POWER, EMPOWER YOUR BODY!

What does it mean to be “embodied”? What does it really mean to be “empowered”?

We hear this a lot lately. “Embody your work.” “Embody the light.” In fact my website’s tagline is “Embodying the Divine Feminine”! And I have been dropping my fav mantra a lot lately: “Be empowered by your choices.”

What exactly does that mean? How do we hold and carry power without misusing it? Is it even something we can wrestle down and “contain”?

To me, it seems we have forgotten the intelligence of the body in contemplating these things. We are constantly looking for ways to calm down, slow our roll, stop worrying, breathe, be light, spread light, shine. We spend a lot of time assessing how we’re doing on our professional or spiritual paths, constantly “taking our temperature.” We have been fed certain ways to conform to others’ ideas and expectations of us; this is an exercise of the mind, a way the ego can “figure out” how to improve. Figuring out, boiling down, and controlling ourselves and our images is the ego’s favorite task (a close runner up is making sure Other People do not see how weak, insecure or neurotic we are).

HOWEVER. Ego energy is just one system that we humans have access to, and we need that system working a lot less in this time of deep change. Ancient cultures (and some not so ancient) spent hours drumming, chanting and dancing away their worries. And “worry” here is a bit of a misnomer—their cosmology informed them that they needed to dance and sing into the night to appease their Gods and Goddesses—you know, so they could eat, so their soil would grow things, so their babies could be born healthy. In fact, they left the worrying behind after the fire died out, after their bones ached with ecstasy, after their hearts were filled with the balm of community. They knew they had done what they were called to do; the next day, there would be another important issue to address, and their bodies likely got involved with solving that problem too.

Nowadays, we often “go work out,” to “stay fit” and “look good” as opposed to allowing an exhilarating expression of the body to be experienced. Although committing to a regular exercise routine is important (not to mention the benefits of all those endorphins), the body wants to return to an active role in our lives as a center for spatial intelligence, a megaphone for intuitive capacities, and a reliance on the incredible rhythms it houses that are much, much, much older than Planet Fitness.

Yoga does a fantastic job with this; so does dancing, as music easily goes beyond the internal censor. And over the last several years, I have especially been fond of hula-hooping. The kid inside of us is instantly intrigued, if not downright excited to see the skinny circle dancing around the midriff of the hooper.

As an adult, hooping for me has taken on the obvious health benefits but I also incorporate certain mantras, some yoga moves, and a focus on opening the heart with conscious breathing throughout my hooping sessions. This important step helps open the pathways between the intelligence of the body, the wisdom center of the heart and the brain. If we want to empower our bodies by embodying them, we can make the needed connection between brain and body via heart, thereby helping to facilitate other ways of practicing consciousness.

As a healing practitioner, I have seen how energy gets stuck, creating distortions and blockages for the body and spirit, which then create malaise, anxiety and ill-health. There is something truly dynamic in giving people the tools and guidance they need to make this body intelligence awaken inside of them, so all systems work together. The act of loving your body—especially for women—is a radical act. It reclaims what the ancient ones knew about these vehicles for our truth: to never, ever take them for granted.  

As an advocate and teacher of the 9 Pillars of Embodying the Divine Feminine, I share #8:

8) Temperance/ Sacred Sexuality. This is the time to ground consciousness. You cannot be a light bringer if you are escaping the intelligence of the body, the womb. If you are altering yourself regularly, this task will be difficult. If you body-shame, this task will be difficult; if you engage with your body in ways that make you feel unworthy, denigrated, degraded or otherwise less-than-sacred, this task will be difficult. Eventually, if the ratios of grounding consciousness and polluting your holy vessel are thrown too far off course, the task of bringing light will be out of reach, impossible. Take immaculate care of the only thing that is truly yours.

That last line bears repeating: Take immaculate care of the only thing that is truly yours.

We do pretty good eating our veggies and getting our heartrates up on the treadmill but what more could we do to acknowledge that our bodies are our ‘holy vessels’? I feel that making consciousness align between mind and body, in a supportive community of others who also want to move, is a great place to start this practice of respect, of honoring our vehicle for Spirit.

Plus, hula-hooping is fun! And who knows when the gym will open…

In my “Embody your Power, Empower your Body” hooping series, we will learn some basic moves, get a great work-out, and be in a loving, supportive community that is naturally socially-distanced righteous!

I purchased my first hoop from Tracy Tingley, the “hooping mama” of Hardcore Hooping. Tracy is an incredible person, giving of her time and energy to lighten the world up in many ways. She will even join us on occasion, and if you find that you love hooping as much as I do, she will make you a hoop. (*I will have plenty of hoops available for class).

The location (outdoor venues) and times are listed below, and we’ll start the first week of August and go through the first week of September. And! The first 2 weeks of classes will be FREE! There’s really nothing to lose but a little around the middle.

___ Evergreen cemetery (5:15 PM on Tuesdays: 08/04, 08/11, 08/18, 08/25, 09/01)

___Bug Light (7 AM on Wednesdays: 08/05, 08/12, 08/19, 08/20, 08/26, 09/02)

___Western Prom (6 PM on Thursdays: 08/13, 08,20, 08/27, 09/03–*no class on 08/06!)

Hope to see you there! Bring a friend, test out a hoop, see if grooving on your beautiful self is the right thing to do… (IT IS!)