How are you feeding yourself this summer? Time to load up on the greens! Our Milkweed at Avalon is being throughly enjoyed by these soon-to-be monarchs!
LUGHNASA GREETINGS FRIENDS!
The fires of Lughnasa, or “1st Harvest” as it is known in Ireland, Scotland and Wales, are about to be lit! Summer, for our ancient kin, was a time of WORK, of toiling under the hot sun, of praying to the weather gods or capital-G god (depending on what century-) to ensure rain would come. But by the first of August, they were ready to celebrate their hard work and start harvesting the ripening fruit! What a wonderful feeling it must have been for them: “Yah, we get to feed our families!”
There’s all kinds of work in the world, isn’t there? Some might think writing is ‘work’ too…and I suppose you’d be right. But as the old adage says: “Do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.” In other words, writing is not work for me. Nor is shamanic healing. Nor is teaching college students how to write more efficiently. Nor is holding the monthly circle we host here at Avalon, Wise Women Talking. Nor is watering all those plants…nor is harvesting! (now weeding: THAT’S WORK!)
But seriously: how many of us get to say we really, truly, LOVE our work? I spent YEARS not loving my work as a medical assistant at a big medical practice. Wow, was that stressful, mentally and emotionally draining, and a LOT OF OUTPUT. However, the doctor I worked for was one of the very best in his field, had patented endoscopic equipment, taught incoming fellows and made A LOT of people feel better. I’ll bet he didn’t see what he did in the world as work but rather why he was put on the Earth.
Is it that ‘work’ has a bad reputation? Might the meaning of work need to be re-cast? Work does not, should not make us miserable. But sometimes our “paycheck work” is not our passion; some of us must do our passion “on the side.” In fact, no matter what kind of work you do, sometimes you have to take one for the team and give up a cushy job for one with health insurance (or to be closer to an ailing parent, or find one where the kids can enjoy a better school system or, or, or-). Maybe you or your partner get ill and you have to stop working. This feels disempowering, even if you “hated” your job. Better to be WELL and go to a crappy job than get sick…and be forced to stay home.
We Americans spend a lot of time working. Working is highly valued in our country. God forbid you be “out of work” and get the glance of pity or, worse, judgment. Why do people automatically assume that if someone is “out of work,” they really must have done something bad. Only lazy people are out of work, right?
No! Really highly motivated, dedicated employees get dismissed or “canned” every day. There are a lot of endings happening right now, both in our personal lives as well as on a much broader scale. And most folks who “lose” a job could share a litany of explanations as to why this befell them. Even though the phenomenon of losing a job happens to nearly everyone, at some point, why do we feel so compelled to defend ourselves, to assert our value, skill, aptitude?
Because the workplace is where most of us gain our value, understand our purpose in the world. But there’s other kinds of work we are also contracted to do. Recently, I was instructed by one of my spirit guides about the nature of the “work you were sent here to do.” As someone who, at the ripe age of seventeen, vividly recalls crying on the bathroom floor at our home in Hope Mills, North Carolina, pray-screaming at God to please, please, please show me how I can serve you, I’ve always wondered what “my work” in the world was. However, Spirit does not paint you a crystal clear picture of how to serve your best self to the world–not at seventeen, nor at fifty-three.
The message I received about the work I was sent here to do went something like this: “All you need is inside of you, in your safe, soul place and in your heart. You can get trampled, pulled in and trapped in any number of narratives out there. But what is YOUR narrative? What is the treasure map of you leading you towards?”
What a wonderful invitation! We DO get to write our own stories! It is so easy to get pulled into someone else’s narrative, hoping to gain approval, acceptance, or even love. How many times did I get pulled into the narrative of a boyfriend, family member or even friend? I’m sure my intention was pure, likely “wanting to help.” But my spirit guide was saying: Let’s look at the map you HOLD, the one that your soul designed. What’s the storyline all about? What plot twists are coming up that might prove extraordinary?
We forget that being gifted a message such as this is ‘work’ too. I feel an obligation to “work the energy” of this revelation and to honor what my spirit teacher has shared with me. But: it feels like a lot of work to turn away from “dependable narratives!” For now, I’m trying to surrender to the wisdom I sense it holds. And to imagine that treasure map with me wherever I go!
If you feel like you’re struggling through your own narrative, make sure it’s YOUR narrative. Sometimes we need to change the story we’re telling ourselves–for it may be outdated, delinquent in its relevance, and even harmful for who the soul is trying to usher out into the world.
WARNING: when you start to tell yourself a new story about WHO YOU ARE, things on the outside will change. Some relationships may drop away; some habits will crisp up in the hot wind and blow off. You may even find yourself ready to quit a (reliable, financially solvent) job that just does not suit who you are anymore.
As Pam Gregory likes to say: Life is an inside job. Consider the work of the evolving soul. There’s no better work than that!! Surrender to the fact that all you NEED is INSIDE OF YOU.
Happy Lughnassa! May abundance and harvest blessings find you…
I was reading an astrology report the other day and it mentioned “since we are now living in the decade of post-truth.” It made me wonder: Will the “decade of post-truth” become the century of post-truth?
The thing is: We ARE in the throes of a great awakening, although it feels like the last vestiges of complete destruction. Dismantling means something new MUST BEGIN.
But…most of us are asking questions like this: Will we have a democracy next year at this time, or will we join a host of other countries in this world that are ruled by a Machiavellian authoritarian?
What, exactly, will we tell our grandkids about what we tried to stop, what we fought for (but lost), what we changed, if anything?
I’m not generally a doom-n-gloom kind of gal. Anyone who has read this newsletter in the past couple of years knows I believe strongly in the adage “Where your focus lies, therein goes your energy” [and this, then, becomes your reality]. I’m a strong believer in “Mind Is The Builder” [Edgar Cacey], and that what we think about, we manifest.
I also believe that our actions must line up with our values. For me, it is the only way to truly live in integrity.
And so, it’s time to review WHERE you are putting your energy. This doesn’t mean we turn away from “what’s happening in the world” –how could we? But I am inviting you to be cautious about how much doom-scrolling you might be doing. Nothing thrives when it is out of balance. Are you balancing your doom-scrolling with long walks in the woods, helping out your ailing mom with her flower bed, writing even a wee little check to MOFGA, so we can ensure quality organic produce here in the state of Maine continues? Align with YOUR values…
I am bringing this up because I was in a meeting the other day with a father of a trans-teen;being the step-mom to a child who identifies as gender non-binary, this father and I always check in to see how everyone is doing, what we’ve recently learned, and new resources we want to share. When he mentioned getting a visa for Canada so he’d know that his child would be safe come election day, I was a bit shocked. Shocked but not surprised…as an alternative healer who could easily identify as a ‘white witch,’ who is married to a Jewish man and has a gender non-binary step child, it’s crossed my mind to worry come election day as well. Because we were in mixed company, I chose not to pursue any follow-up questions. To be completely honest, I didn’t want his fear to infect me. I could feel the vibe of excessive adrenaline, a sure sign of fear-based thinking and “building.” [Mind is the Builder].
Being hyper-vigilant about ensuring the safety of his child was, clearly, a priority. Every parent has that priority. On my ride back to Hollis that evening, I started wondering if Charlie needs to go to Canada. Do they think about running, if the protections the LGBTQ community has worked so hard for evaporate? Would I leave, if I could, to live in a country where these freedoms (among others) might be better protected? Charlie has already told me they aren’t going to vote, seeing that neither candidate is worthy of their vote. (That’s another newsletter-).
Back to my short, shocking conversation with my work colleague: It IS MY PRIORITY to not let people who are operating out of hypervigilance to “infect” me, just as it is HIS PRIORITY to make sure that his kid gets out of the country, somewhere safe. Everyone has their own agenda, their need to make life go a certain way. I’m not interested in putting my head in the sand but I’m also not building a bunker, making my “get-away” backpack full of freezer-dried ravioli and peach roll-ups.
So how do we maintain vigilance for what we think is right and just AND keep the sacred humming in a HEALTHY balance, pursuing in full throttle the things that bring us to wholeness?
To me, for me, the things that “bring us to wholeness” is the only way–what could be superior to WHOLENESS? Democracy, as Cornel West put it so eloquently many years ago, was always an experiment. Countries crumble, and so do governments. Is it sad? Hell yes. I’m sadder for the planet…but I don’t let that suffering debilitate me. I can’t.
I suppose what I really want to say is: Where we put our energy MATTERS. It matters so much for a greater project to take hold. That is why, after 10 years of only showing this download to a select few people, I’m sharing it with a wider audience. It’s called “The Wave” and I’ll set it up for you:
In October of 2013, I was participating in my last session of Shamanic Initiations. Our 4-day closing work and ceremony was being held at my beloved Borestone. I’m forever grateful to my teachers, Dory Cote and Barbara Bloecher, for the opportunity to participate in such deep work and to have the experience of their tutelage these many years.
One of our journeys was to travel through the Void and find a Master Teacher. I don’t know exactly what the journey question was, probably something like “What can you tell us about the nature of the universe?” We were to take a trusted guide with us; my guide at the time was a Japanese samurai named Hoshi.
Below is the information that the Master Teacher shared, and that I’d like to share with you. It has been edited for clarity and conciseness:
THE WAVE
Journey with my upper world teacher, Hoshi, to a Master Teacher, Saturday 10/05/13
We were dropped into the Void, which was both black and full of little light particles. We floated down onto a man working at a big stone desk. He was an old man–long white hair, a long white/gray beard. Although he was sitting, you could tell he was very tall. He also had really long fingers, and was sketching. On closer observation, it was clear it was sacred geometry.
Finally, he began to speak:
‘Circles, rhythms, cycles, orbs. Everything is a circle. All is in a cycle. The sacred walk is walking itself.’ [This is what I recall verbatim; the rest is summary]. He said that Earth was at the end of a long cycle, and that the apex of that cycle was at its breaking point. He then went into the wave analogy:
The Earth’s present cycle was like a wave. The light workers were at the top of the wave; those choosing a dark path at the bottom of the wave. The dark path people were necessary to create the tension that builds the wave up, in a way of pushing the light workers to get focused. There are a bunch of people in the middle however which he called ‘yet decided,’ and they are suffering the most now. He implied that this great cycle would be able to come to full fruition once everyone decided which part of the wave they truly wanted to be part of, and that one end was not ‘better’ than the other. He then said again, ‘The Sacred Walk is walking itself.’ He said that when the Earth community has filled the capacities for these ratios, that is the BREAKING POINT of the wave, and a new Earth can be born.
I asked if other realities can see this happening, and if they were helping. He said there were several other beings watching and sending light to the process in order for the wave-crashing to be more loving to the planet. Then he made this analogy: ‘Like how you people christen a newborn baby? They are sending light to wash the new born Earth.’ He then added that every time anyone drums anywhere on Earth, we are sending a vibrational hello to the other dimensions/realities/beings. [end journey]
I’ll resist trying to interpret too much of this, or add in my 2-cents for how this information hits me now, in 2024.
I hope you find some solace in these sentiments. Afterall, the sacred walk is walking itself.
Are you, too, screaming “FINALLY!” as you gaze upon the crocus, the dandelion, the tulips? Although the tulips haven’t actually bloomed yet, I have the leaves. The leaves have shot up in our perennial bed here at Avalon and there is just something that warms my heart to see them. Something akin to…well, relief. Spring DID come! Did we doubt it would? Well, if you’ve spent at least a few years in Maine, sometimes you do wonder!
Overnight (it seems), the forsythia bloomed and –be still my heart–so did the pink blossoms of the magnolia tree. The chickens appear to vacillate between fussy and punk-ass; Molly and Pippin officially have Spring fever. WE ARE WAKING UP! The world around us is groaning delight in colors, scents and sounds. The heart of the land, the sea, the rivers and the sky finally get to have a coming-home party and ask “Well, now, how have YOU been?”
Where will you meet them, these jesters of the landscape that surround us? Are you stopping–really stopping–to welcome the robin back? Have you eyed that bike of yours, promising to pump up the tires and take a spin but really aren’t sure you’re ready to “get out there”? Is your social calendar exploding? Sometimes, this can be a good thing or a not-so-good thing…
What do I mean by all of this? There is always a ‘flip-side’ energetically to each season. Although Spring does beckon us to awaken, come back to life, be re-born, the underlying message enveloped in those urges is one of ACTION. But maybe you’re stuck. Maybe ‘action’ sounds like a nightmare to you. There is an uptick in suicides in the spring, and there’s a reason for this: the transition is HARD for some. The unspoken (and external) pressure to crawl out of your shell means “bye-bye shelter.” When we no longer have the protective layer holding us together, keeping us “tucked in,” we are exposed, vulnerable to the sights and sounds (and demands) around us.
So I suggest easing into it. EASE yourself into the Spring season with a few markers of self-care, a few mantras that SUIT YOU. Here’s some gentle suggestions:
__Let your no be ‘no, thank you’ and your yes be ‘hell yes!’ As Anne Lamott reminds us, ‘No’ is a complete sentence. You do not need to explain yourself to anyone, if you decline an invitation.
__”My energy is my energy and only my energy” is a great mantra for anyone who is highly sensitive and tends to pick up the energy of others. Spring is a great time for boundary-making because the explosion of life sort feels like it knows no boundaries. Make your own.
__With the increase in light, you might think getting up earlier than usual (or doing more after 5 PM) seems normal. Well, it might be–eventually. But if you feel like you’re pushing yourself, use that early morning sunlight to journal, write your dreams down or take a quiet walk around your yard. SUNLIGHT does not mean “Ok, go!” This is a left-over vestige from the many generations of our ancestors who believed “the sun is up/time’s a wasting.”
__Get accustomed to asking yourself: “What would serve my body BEST at this moment?” We are now in the time of Taurus! The Bull. This energy is one of earthly embodiment, of stability [“four on the floor” like bull], of stillness. Does your body need to shake off a frustrating conversation? Then go dance! Take a walk. Does your body need to REST, unburdened, unbidden, under the covers, all freaking week-end? Then do that.
__Speaking of Taurus, this is the first sign in the Zodiac ruled by Venus (the other, Libra). Venus is all about the beauty of love and the love of beauty. Where do you find beauty? Taurus asks us to name the SIMPLE things in life we find beautiful. Counting your blessings is a sure way to stay in the positive lane and allow this transition into Spring to be one of ease.
Sure, Spring is a time to re-set. But remember: YOU know yourself better than anyone, and your pace might look different than the explosion of color and change around you. As DEER spirit told me at our recent drum making ceremony last week-end, “The relationship you have with yourself is the most important one of all.”
Shine On,
Mary Katherine
PS. The suicide hotline is: 988; if you are hoping to find a therapist, the best way is to: 1) check out this link [Psychology Today] or Better Help. You might also be looking for a different kind of healing and re-set. I recommend the following shamanic practitioners: Dory Cote, Martha Williams, John Moore,Nancy MacPhee or any of the others on my Resources page of my website. I am also seeing clients again, starting on June 1st!
I thought this newsletter would be difficult to write but once I sat down with pen to paper, the words came easily. Why? Because I believe the difficult experiences we have in this life are meant to teach us something, guiding us to a higher expression of our best selves. If you’ve had an experience that was difficult but were able to glean something valuable from it, welcome to your highest expression! The Ezee-Passes are for the toll roads, not life. No one is exempt from the hurdles that this human form requires of us.
My best self is one who inspires and teaches others; it does not surprise me that my Ostara newsletter would come out with a theme of reinvention and renewal…but also assertion. With Spring comes Aries, the 1st sign of the Zodiac and the essence of “I AM.” On March 19th, we will move out of Winter and into Spring, giving our thanks to the elders of the North Direction as we bid them farewell and greeting the new day of the East. This is a time of rebirth, emergence, and even revelation.
And there is no greater revelation than cozying up to one’s mortality.
Now I know a lot of people at this point in my 52 years who have had ‘close calls,’ unfavorable diagnoses and a flush of other 9-Lives type of accidents–myself included. But I want to share a Tale of 2 Cancers with you not so much as a warning tale but rather a gesture of inspiring you to show up and be heard, talk loudly if you think you’re being ignored, assert what you know is true. Because it may just save your life.
In December of 2008, I had a vaginal ultrasound for a diagnosis of ‘pain with sex’ or if you want to get fancy, dyspareunia. The ultrasound revealed a ‘burst ovarian cyst’ and my doctor said we’d watch things, that it was probably a one-and-done. Painful sex continued, and so I sought a 2nd opinion. This time, I wanted to go to an OBGYN, not to the facility where my PCP and 40 other doctors practiced. Luckily for me, at the time I was working at Portland Gastroenterology and we had good insurance–I could go see whomever I wanted. Specialists were covered!
So, in January of 2009, I went to see an OBGYN and had another vaginal ultrasound. This time, the radiology tech took one look at the screen and said, “It’s not your ovary that’s giving you the problem. It’s your fallopian tube.” She was quite candid about describing the ‘hotdog’ size of my fallopian tube, suggesting that it should really look more like a string.
Well they didn’t even let me go home without giving me a big shot of antibiotics in my arm and a 2-week supply to take home with me. The OBGYN said the fallopian tube ‘must be infected.’A follow-up was scheduled in 3 weeks so they could do another ultrasound to assess. Hopefully, this course of antibiotics would treat the raging infection I had.
3 weeks later, another ultrasound. No changes on imaging. Another course of antibiotics, with a 6-week follow-up. Back in 6 weeks, another ultrasound. By this time, I was getting a little impatient and worried. Although there appeared to be a slight decrease in the size of my fallopian tube, it didn’t look like the string formation they were expecting.
“This is a tough one,” the doctor said as she wrote out yet another prescription for antibiotics. I took the script, stuck it in my purse and asked her if we could do a biopsy?
“Well, that would just destroy the tube. I’d have to remove it in its entirety.”
I waited for more explanation. “Is there any harm in doing that? I can live with one, can’t I? I mean, these antibiotics don’t seem to be, you know, fixing the problem.”
She seemed to be contemplating this course although I could tell she wasn’t sold on the idea. Finally, she said, “I suppose we can just remove it. But let’s try one more round of the antibiotics first. And, let’s put you on my surgery schedule now because it fills up, just in case.”
Great. I took the antibiotics (again!), no change. So, on July 29th, 2009, the good doctor who I had to convince to try something different removed my fallopian tube. Results? Serous tubal intraepithelial carcinoma, if you want to get fancy about it. Fallopian tube cancer.
As anyone can tell you who’s had cancer, you suddenly have 5 new doctors and a LOT of appointments. On October 13th, I had an abdominal hysterectomy with cervix, ovaries, 17 lymph nodes, omentum from both sides of my abdominal cavity and the other fallopian tube removed. Lucky for me, there was not any more cancer to be found. Yah!
I was 38 years old, and it took me a long time to feel like cancer wasn’t going to sneak up on me and shout ‘Boo!’ in my ear. Anyone who’s had a cancer diagnosis and lived through it will tell this.
And then we have Jan 29th of this year. I had been walking around for about a month, noticing that a freckle on my face was bleeding. On and off, no biggie. However, I wasn’t doing anything to make it bleed. My grandmother, who was a nurse, used to say, “Keep your hands away from your face! That’s how germs are spread.” So I hardly ever touched my face, and knew I hadn’t scratched myself.
I called my dermatologist. I love this guy! He is so sweet. I go see him once a year because my mother, who is heavy on the Scottish genes, has had 3 melanomas. He got me in the following week.
A few pleasantries, a few light-hearted jokes. He always asks about the farm, so I told him about the chickens, the new kitty, the Sweet Suite. The whole time we’re having this conversation, he’s looking at my face with one of those magnifying lenses with the little light on it. Finally, he steps away from my face, slips the magnifying glass into his scrub pocket and says, “I’m not worried about this.”
Oh, ok. So, do faces just bleed, out of the blue? And you know what? I almost said “Great, see you at our annual visit.” But something would not let me hop off that examination table. Something would not let me be on my way. Just like with my OBGYN, I had to press for other options.
So often, in uncomfortable moments, it’s easier to make a joke instead of blatant confrontation. So I made a joke. “Well, what should I say to people when they ask me ‘Do you know that your face is bleeding?’”
He smiled and may have said something else but I wasn’t moving. He then said, “Well, let me just scrape a little off. It’ll take 5 minutes. We’ll send it off to the lab.”
This time, it was your garden variety skin cancer: basal cell carcinoma. Very treatable, very common. Great! And last week, I breathed through the cutting and digging and sewing-me-up at Plastic and Hand. I was lucky, again.
But that luck is BECAUSE OF ME, both times. In other words, if I hadn’t pushed, probed, asked for more, asked for something different, it is quite possible that I may not be here. Maybe not so much for the skin cancer but what if I had been satisfied with the supposed ‘burst ovarian cyst’? What if I had been ok with never-ending courses of antibiotics? What if I thought bleeding freckles were no big deal?
It struck me last week that of the 2 times I have had ‘cancer scares,’ I had to advocate for the best thing FOR ME. 100% of the cancer scenarios I’ve experienced in this life were because 100% of the doctors weren’t on point, I WAS. Don’t get me wrong–they get it right MOST of the time. But I am here to tell you that if something doesn’t ‘sound right,’ it probably isn’t.
Doctors do not have crystal balls (no one does). But Creator gives us a voice. We must speak up if we expect to be heard. What you have to say may not always be popular, but it may be the life-saver you give to yourself.
And: it will matter TO YOU TO SAY IT. This Spring, harness your inner Aries! Stand up and protest, assert your will, and make your feelings known. As my daddy used to say, it’s the squeaky wheel that gets the grease.
Brigid is shown here “putting Winter to sleep;” art by John Quigley, Printed in Ireland, 2000
This winter, I’ve been listening to the audio book, My Name is Barbra, on my way to work. It is Barbra Streisand reading her memoir, which must have taken years to pen–she’s had quite the life! If you grew up in the 70’s like I did, your mom may have played Barbra Streisdand’s records one after the other, like mine did. So I kinda feel like Barbra is part of the family.
The great thing about listening to an audio book is that your brain (and eyes?) don’t have to work quite as hard; you can just listen. The pure joy of listening, of receiving information in the form of images, of a narrative–and that voice!–is heavenly. I’m not sure who helped her edit but you can add “Great Writer” to the list of her many talents.
SO GORGEOUS–inside and out!
Last week, I think it was around chapter 35 or 36, she explained many of the juicy details about making A Star Is Born. Her crazy boyfriend Jon Peters was jealous of Kris Kristofferson. The director was a jerk, who apparently tried to sabotage the movie by selling certain “filthy lies” to the gossip columnists. Barbra shares that she was exhausted after the movie wrapped and did not want to do any movies for a while. She needed a break, so she took one. Admittedly, she notes, “I got bored after about three months.” Then, she confessed, she needed a project.
Her project turned out to be remodeling a one-story “ugly tract house I used as a small sound studio.” Throughout the book, she’s always recounting what she wore to this event or that party in great detail; she has a penchant for antique clothing and, as she puts it, “old things.” So it was no surprise when she tells the listener, “I didn’t want to tear the house down, as ugly as it was. That would have been too dramatic, and a lot more work. I wanted to fix it up, re-do it. Besides, you got to use what you are given.”
USE WHAT YOU ARE GIVEN. Wow! The multiple meanings weren’t lost on me. Barbra begins this delicious memoir of her life in Brooklyn, and shares that she was told, “No Jewish girl with a nose like that will ever see herself on the big screen.” Can you believe it? Aren’t we all glad she didn’t listen to them! And God gave her a VOICE, but also a lot of chutzpah! Those beautiful songs, the enchanting on-screen performances, the literally millions she has given away to charity–ALL OF THEM (and more) would have never been realized had she not used what was “given” to her–her natural gifts of performing and singing. She never went to college; she took 1 or 2 piano lessons but reports that her family, or rather her single mom, couldn’t afford to continue with the lessons.
She just knew she wanted to act. Particularly, on Broadway. And that is exactly what she did. To make ends meet–before she got her big break with Funny Girl–she sang in a nightclub in Manhattan called the Bon Soir. She just kept pushing those doors open, kept persisting. And she wasn’t afraid to ask, “But what if we do it this way?” It made me wonder if one of her ‘natural gifts’ was determination. Is that possible?
There have been numerous places throughout this book that I thought I might have to pull over and have a good cry. Not because anything that Barbra was saying was sad–although there are sad bits in it. No, it’s because I get so MOVED! So incredibly enraptured by what ONE LIFE CAN DO, what one woman is capable of! It’s the epitome of inspiration! No one can say she has wasted one minute of her life…
And so this multi-layered “Use what you are given” line really, really stuck with me. It made me ask myself: Am I using what I was given? Have I taken any of my God-given talents for granted? Is there a dormant talent which was not nurtured enough when I was young? Was there someone who told me I would never do such-and-such, as those who told Barbra that her nose would keep her off the big screen?
Which of those messages did I take in, and adopt as my truth? What door have I yet to bust open for myself, afraid of what I may discover, find, or reclaim?
In addition to HIGHLY RECOMMENDING this memoir of Barbra Streisand’s, I invite you to ask yourself the same questions. Are YOU using what was given to you? It could be your voice, like Barbra’s. What about your metaphorical voice, the voice of your truth, the voice of your wisdom? What new heights are you willing to go, knowing that the only things in life you truly regret are the risks you DON’T take?
That last bit is Ann Margret’s line in Grumpy Old Men. I guess the movie stars are acting as my muses today!
Shine On, Mary Katherine
UPCOMING EVENTS and AVALON UPDATES
Sat 02/03 (11 AM–2 PM)
Imbolc: Making an Altar to Brigid at the Sacred Waters
AT CAPACITY for this event! Pls join me and Kristi for future ceremonies, like Lughnasa on 08/03
Join the Zoom room by 12:45 PM ; our focus will be on acknowledging our gifts (God-given and those we’ve worked darn hard for-); Email me for Zoom link (I will send out to regular attendees the day before)
If you so chose, here’s a little journal prompt to enhance your circle time:
How does anyone know what their gifts are? How committed are you to seeing your “superpowers” uplift others and your community? What conditions need to be in place in order to have your natural-born gifts and talents thrive?
Come explore ways we can transcend the energy of victim archetype – one of the 4 universal survival archetypes. Despite the baggage that accompanies the word, the victim archetype, like all the other archetypes, is neutral – neither good or bad; and it can be a resource when we learn to navigate its energy as it shows up in our lives. This workshop will utilize the Work That Reconnects, designed by Joanna Macy and incorporate nature and mirroring exercises
Cost $111, location: Avalon Acres; please MARK YOUR CALENDAR for this special day-long, deep-dive event! Kat and I will be putting together a more formal event page soon! Stay Tuned!
AVALON NEWS & UPDATES
__Sweet Suite
We’re oiling the walls (who knew you had to treat pine?) and fashioning a cabinet around the fridge. Bed, sink, and comfy wingback chair are installed!
To my Beta-Testers: Please be patient! Probably looking at over-night bookings by early March 2024
__CSA’s! Are Available for the 2024 season
Don’t you want to support delicious, Maine-grown food? If you are wondering how you can enjoy nutrient-dense local food and support our efforts here at Avalon, please consider buying your CSA from Avalon. We thank you!
Delivery options available! We know everyone who supports us doesn’t all live in Hollis! I’m in town three days a week for my job, and am happy to drop off your box AMAZING! The Sweet Suite looks fantastic! Thanks to the Re-Store, it has a few pieces of comfy furniture too! Stay tuned for booking availability STILL WITH ME?!
__Snow Shoe at Avalon: Trails are always open, always free!
We even have a rudimentary map! Send us a quick email at avalonacresofhollis@gmail.com if you’d like to experience our winter wonderland or just stop by!
__ If you’d like to support Avalon Acres another way…
Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, I’d like you to take a moment and drink in this good news story. Goodness knows we all could use one of those!
This past September, I traveled to Kentucky to participate in a 5-day Shamanic Intensive designed by one of my beloved shamanic teachers, Barbara Bloecher. This was my second intensive with Barbara in Kentucky, and it was an incredible experience which fed my soul on many levels. Barbara has quite the shamanic community down there and I was blessed to meet several of her students, collaborators and fellow practitioners. It was one of the highlights of my year.
There was one woman who I met named Laura. Laura told me a story that burst my heart wide open, and a story I have the privilege of sharing with you.
Laura lives in Louisville, KY with her husband Paul and their 13-yr old son, Joseph. She is the Business Manager at a non-profit organization called JustFaith Ministries, which writes and facilitates social and racial justice work. This was her 3rd intensive.
The following is the story she told me at the intensive which I asked her to write down for me:
“Last year, around this time, I was taking the same route daily to check mail at a PO Box for the ministry I’m employed with. There was a particular off ramp where a gentleman stood with a sign and I would see him several times a week. There was a particular instance where I knew that if I saw him again, I would stop and ask him if there was anything I could do for him to make his day better. The next time I saw him standing there, I rolled down my window and said, “I’m stopping by Walgreens. Is there anything I can get you to make your day a little better?” His answer was powder deodorant and ear plugs. The honesty of his answer is what stuck with me more than anything. While I was at Walgreens, I also picked up a bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter Christmas Trees. When I stopped back by to drop his items off, he was elated and so excited for the candy.
I stopped to talk to him a few more times before Christmas last year and once, gave him a Christmas Card with $60 in it. When I was at the ATM pulling the money, I asked myself, what am I doing? Yet, I felt it in my gut and heart it was the right thing to do. He almost cried when I handed it to him, with my phone number. The next few weeks brought the coldest winter I think I’ve spent in Kentucky and I thought about Stefan daily and wondered how he was. I knew that he stayed at the Salvation Army shelter in the evenings and over the course of our friendship, learned that he would have to leave the shelter by 5am and find warmth until he took the bus to his panhandling spot, spend all day there and then hop the bus back to the shelter for the 5pm line up. His schedule fascinated me because I learned that this is what kept him moving and hopeful.
After Christmas, I saw him again and he told me that the $60 that I gave him went towards turning his phone back on. He said he had lost my number and needed it again. After that day, we communicated, almost daily. I’d take him breakfast or lunch. I’d sit under the underpass in my car and he would talk through my window. We formed a friendship through the window of my car.
One day, I noticed that his gloves were full of holes and that his hands were red and chapped. I began asking him what he needed and it was everything. He had nothing. This is the day I started the S and Friends wish list. Over the course of two weeks, the amazing people of my spiritual and Facebook communities and well as family and friends, donated enough through the Amazon wish list to provide him with clothes, shoes, a new rain coat, an umbrella, towels, pajamas and so much more. They also provided these items for a few of his friends, on the streets.
One day, I asked my husband, Paul, if S. could do some work around our house and this led to us having him work for us all Spring. He did so many tasks that my husband and I let fall behind due to certain circumstances in our lives that we were working through. S. helped us as much as we helped him. Before long, the neighbors were talking about how nice our place looked. Other neighbors began hiring him. A friend of Paul’s sold him an old truck for $1000. This gave him the ability to drive and work. Eventually, a friend of mine hired him full time and he is still working for him to this day.
S. still lives at the shelter. He calls us when he has questions about his vehicle or needs advice on other things. He’s almost like a son that has gone away to college. My son, Joseph, has been part of this journey and has grown to love S. as well. The two of them talk football and video games. It’s a beautiful thing.
S. was the first person that I asked if he needed anything. He really was the beginning of the journey. I believe God had a plan in this to keep me focused and committed.
[I asked Laura what she thought the solution was to house-lessness and the encampment sweeps that several cities across the nation are forced to do. Here’s what she wrote:]
“The question regarding sweeping the camps and alternatives has always left me at a loss. I’ve helped people that have just had their camp swept and have been wandering the streets trying to acclimate. It isn’t pretty. I don’t know the answer. I think about it all the time and I just don’t have it. Sometimes, the city of Louisville gives warnings. Sometimes they don’t. When they do give warnings, there are organizations in town that help the camps move, which prevents the people from losing everything. That is the worst part about sweeping. People lose everything they own.”
[I asked Laura what myth people get wrong about the unhoused; this is her response:]
“[The myth people get wrong] I learned through meeting S. Not everyone on the streets is a drug addict. Not every pan handler is making hundreds of dollars a day. I was so fascinated by learning, over time, about his [S.’s] schedule and what it consisted of. He made enough to eat and get a pack of smokes and take the bus every day. And he did that for years. He worked odd jobs by people he would meet panhandling but they never amounted to anything that provided him a stable environment. He’s a good person. It’s been a year and he’s a good friend. He’s genuine and loving. He’s the hardest worker I’ve ever met. I’m thankful everyday that I met him and he became a part of me and my family’s life.”
What assumptions have you made about people? I know that as hard as I try not to judge people, little assessments still come out, even if they are never voiced or acted upon. Sandra Ingerman, my shamanic teachers’ teacher, says that thoughts carry energy, and are bound to manifest one way or another.
What experiences have I missed out on, because I judged someone?
I wonder what the world might be like when we are all able to carry the best thoughts about everybody–including ourselves!–around in our heads and hearts. How might our actions then change, as Laura’s did, when she was brave enough to ask a simple question to a ‘total stranger’?
This Yule, give the best of yourself to someone. Anyone. They will feel your attention, your care. And they won’t forget it!
FEATURED PRACTITIONER: DEBRA BLUTH
Are you looking for that perfect Maine-made flower essence, tea or herbal remedy for the nature-loving loved one in your life? Do you need a little something to help you restore from a long year, or support your immune system through the holidays? Let me introduce you to Debra!
Debra Bluth is a CCH is a classical homeopath, herbalist, and flower essence practitioner with a private practice in midcoast Maine and online. She makes many of her own remedies. She also works through Delta Gardens, a center for flower essence research and practice in NH, and some of the essences she makes are sold through Delta Gardens. Debra also teaches herbal and flower essence classes and workshops, and recently has been teaching at Viles Arboretum in Augusta. She has history as a choreographer and improvisational movement artist, and improvisation and contemplative movement practices largely inform her work to this day. If she’s not with clients or classes, you will find her in the woods and with the plants. To connect or for appointments, call 617-999-7765, email seedandlegend@gmail.com, or visit www.seedandlegend.com.
*Mark your (summer) calendar! Debra and I are working on a day-long retreat here at Avalon that will involve plant identification, connecting with the spirit of the plant, and dancing the essence together as a group on the land, post walk. We are very excited about this! Although we have not nailed down the specific week-end, it will likely be the 3rd or 4th week-end in July!
Take a SNEAK PEEK!
at the 2024 calendar at AVALON ACRES!
[Although I have not yet made web pages that go along with these events, please MARK YOUR CALENDARS for these exciting offerings in 2024!]
02/03 IMBOLC CEREMONY (with Kristi Dawson)
03/23: SHAMANISM AND BREATHWORK (with Brett Aldrich)
06/21: JOURNEY DANCE and SOLSTICE SPIRIT BATHING (with Amylia Jayne)
07/21: (*this date is flexible, we have to see what the flowers are doing): PLANT WALK and FLOWER ESSENCE DANCE (with Debra Bluth)
08/03: LUGHNASA CEREMONY (with Kristi Dawson)
Offerings To Be Scheduled: Healing with Horses (with Emily Brooks, my neighbor!); Transmuting Victim Consciousness (with Kat Beaudoin); FALL Nature Immersion Wander (with Nancy Anderson); Avalon Acres Open House and Bonfire; Acts of Kindness circle (with Jeff Edlestein); ON-GOING Monthly Wise Women Talking circles (with Nancy Cole); Astrology and SoulWork (with Amanda Painter); Drum Circles (with Darlene Harvey)
And if we EVER GET SOME SNOW….
UPCOMING EVENTS AT AVALON
WISE WOMEN TALKING
SNOW SHOE!
SATURDAY DECEMBER 30th
1PM-3:30 PM
Let’s take our talk into the wild, snowy landscape of hemlock, pine, birch, maple and oak and feel the very last of 2023 leave our bones…
Arrive before 1 PM to get settled and change into your snowshoes. We’ll hit the trail together and walk in silence for a little bit, contemplating these “inner landscapes”:
__Our greatest accomplishment in 2023 (be it physical, mental, financial, spiritual or otherwise!)
__Our hardest lesson of 2023 (but well worth it!!)
__What inspires our Souls
__How do we practice simplicity amidst the chaos of these times?
We will pause in the woods at a designated “power spot” to discuss the above and speak to anything else that needs to be shared and witnessed. Offerings will be given to the land and a song will be offered as well to the Spirit of Avalon.
After heading back to the barn, we will gather for tea and crumpets (likely poundcake). Participants will be on their merry way before it gets dark!
IMBOLC: Making an Altar to Brigid at the Sacred Waters
With Fellow Celtic Shamanic Practitioner, Kristi Dawson
Saturday, February 3rd, 2024
[details are forthcoming about this ceremony; Kristi and I are coming up with some special rituals and considering how weather may play a role! Stay tuned!]
YULE 2023/2024: A JOURNAL PROMPT FOR YOU!
Still with me, loves? Great. Let’s do some writing.
I LOVE THIS TIME OF YEAR. Probably not for the same reason that a lot of people do but that’s ok. What I love is: the ‘JANUS SURGE,’ the opportunity to stand at that sacred threshold of the old and yet-to-be, the feeling that we have ‘made it through’ another year. Janus is the Roman God of gates, doorways, beginnings, duality, and passages, who could look backwards and forward at the same time. I also feel that time stands still here at Yule (and Solstice means ‘Sun Standing Still’). It is a time-out-of-time where our busy routines can be set aside, where we can take stock of the finer treasures of our lives. Surely a season of giving, it is also a time to GIVE YOURSELF STILLNESS.
Giving yourself the gift of TIME, dip that quill in ye olde ink pot and pick one (or both!) of these prompts:
__Taking Stock of Treasures: As you contemplate the past year, list your greatest accomplishments, whether they are accomplishments of the mind, body, heart, or pocketbook. What negative pattern did you finally break? Who did you forgive? What new routine did you incorporate that enhances your life? Did you get a new look, finally throw out ALL the socks with holes? WHATEVER you did that feels like a personal feat, a measure of your strength, write about it in detail. We never give ourselves enough credit for our small or large accomplishments.
__Dreaming Onward: Imagine it is December (date you’re reading this) 2024. And you’re about to sit down and do the above journal prompt about all the great things you did, acquired, mastered or otherwise rocked out of the park in 2024. What’s on the list? Pretend you are ALREADY THERE, taking stock of your amazing achievements and treasures of 2024. After writing the list, take a moment to look at this imagined 2024 life. What are you really excited about accomplishing? What gets your heart rate up on this list? Circle it, make a collage, paint something with words and symbols that represent that feeling, that accomplishment. And put it somewhere you will see it often.
HOLIDAY GIFT IDEAS for that LOVER OF BOOKS!
Do you know this guy? This is my friend and fellow writer, Clif Travers. Clif got his book of short stories, The Stones of Riverton, published this year! And IT IS FABULOUS.
Clif Travers is a visual artist and writer living in Portland, Maine. His writing has been featured in Underwood Press, Freeze Frame Fiction, Coffin Bell Journal, Crack the Spine Anthology, Dime Show Review, and Sonora Review, among others. Clif received his MFA in creative writing from Stonecoast at the University of Southern Maine, and he teaches creative writing at Writerfest in New York, The Writing Center in Gloucester Massachusetts, the MWPA in Portland, Maine, and Maine Media in Camden, Maine. Clif just started his new post this week at Portland Magazine as Asst. Editor/Writer!
My dear sweet husband, Michael, is working hard to establish Avalon Acres as a producer of delicious, organically grown food. It takes A LOT to grow food, much less the sustainable way [“no till” practice] that we do. One of his highlights this year was getting our beautiful produce (and eggs!) to the Woodsford Corner Farmers Market in Portland. He met some other farmers (yah!), made some new contacts, and introduced Avalon to greater Portland.
But Woodsford Farmers Market is in its nascent stage of establishing itself. If you love fresh, Maine-grown food and want to support the local economy, please consider donating to their campaign to keep the market going in 2024!
Happy Summer! Look at that Lucky Ole Sun. Did you know that the ONLY tattoo I have is of a sun, OUR SUN, OUR STAR! The one and only. The life-giver. The purifier. The WARMING AGENT. A ball of fire…
I got the tattoo after seeing the Jerry Garcia Band perform the song, “That Lucky Ole Sun” at the Charlotte Coliseum, in November of 1991. There was something about Jerry crooning the lyrics, “That lucky ole sun/ Got nothing to do/ But roll around Heaven/ All daaaaaayyyy” that made me feel as if I was up there with the sun, rolling around, listening to the show from a higher perspective.
It was one of those moments, that, well, makes you want to go out and get a tattoo. And the sun is something, isn’t it? If you reside where I do, in Maine, there’s been a LOT of rain in the past month. I LOVE RAIN, ok? The blessing of rain showering us with water allows us to keep harvesting food. To quote my shamanic teacher, Dory Cote, “Without rain, we wouldn’t have a planet.”
But now with the Solstice, we are firmly in the days of Belenos-lots of light! PLEASE bring on the light! Lots of shining light, to see more, to feel more of the heat and perhaps toil more (or less, depending on your perspective). However, not everybody is a “summer person.” A client recently said to me, “I’m just not grooving on this yang energy. It’s a bit much.” I understood: Summer is masculine energy. Doing, going, socializing, building, ACTION! Winter is the Great Priestess’s time. And so I find it interesting that with the celestial event of the Summer Solstice, we cross the border into the South Direction, which is associated with the Child, innocence, and honoring our pain. I also see the child in her self-righteousness, bearing a sword of justice, as if to say “You can’t hurt me, back off!” Interestingly, we also cross into the astrological sign of Cancer at the summer Solstice–the cardinal sign of Water, the Mother, the moon, feeling our way through things.
So: Masculine Yang-Daddy is not standing alone at these times and he will not heave his dominion over us unilaterally.
Maybe he’s just trying to heal himself. What’s that? Healing the masculine wound of dominance, of wretched “take” mentality, of power-grabs that are, quite frankly, shutting down life here on planet Earth? Let’s herald that in! And we all perpetuate and participate in these masculine systems of oppression and control.
Until we say No. Stop. No More. The name of my healing practice, Nine Pillars, refers to areas of adjustment AWAY from these over-bearing masculine energies of control and dominance and towards a RE-INTEGRATION of the more feminine principles. Yes, that’s right: RE-INTEGRATION. It wasn’t always like this–YANG didn’t always rule. Some may not want to imagine how the human species “organized” themselves around spiritual matters before Jesus showed up but Goddess worship and pagan practices have been in place for a very, very long time. Try 30,000 years.
So, in an attempt to honor our crossing into the South Direction of the child of play, and a reminder that without Mama Earth pumping out the delicious food we enjoy so much, we wouldn’t even know what a Summer Solstice was and without Father Sky raining down the wet stuff, we’d never see the color green of any pine, fern or rosebush because we simply wouldn’t be alive, I’ve included in this newsletter Pillar # 6, “Ecology,” as it was downloaded to me verbatim by my guide Athena, on the new moon in October of 2018:
ECOLOGY:
“Even an animal knows better than to shit where it sleeps. The desecration is unfathomable. To tip the scales back to balance will take great effort on many different levels. The law level, the farming level, seed cultivation, clean water efforts, and of course cleaning the air. Where there is massive destruction, there is massive potential for new birth. Diversity is key. There cannot be a spectrum if we are contented to sit in the dark. Stop “appreciating” nature and start realizing you are not separate from it.”
As I write and revise my manuscript about the 9 Pillars, I’m realizing that I could have written the entire book about this one pillar. Because, none of the other ones will even matter if we ALL don’t regain sanity around how to live more sustainably on this planet.
I had a disturbing vision the other morning. You know those pre-consciousness moments where you’re not entirely awake but you’re not fully asleep anymore either? Well, I had a vision of our descendants going to a museum that featured jet planes and a cruise ship. The young people who were touring this museum were gob-smacked as they read on the little displays how much fuel the jet required for a trip from New York City to Denver, or how much garbage the cruise ship produced for just one trip around the Caribbean. They were saying to each other, “Can you believe your grandmother got in one of these things, this plane, to go on something called a vacation?”
When I fully woke up, my heart felt heavy. As I contemplated this vision,I was reminded of our early land-owning white people in this country who also owned slaves, black bodies they saw as something they could possess. Today, we simply can’t fathom it. How could they? We say to ourselves. But that is exactly what our children’s children will be saying about us: How could they, knowing what their actions were doing to LIFE.
That lucky Ole Sun indeed. Who wouldn’t want to “roll around heaven all day”? Playing, working, loving, hurting, repairing things here on the planet is hard work. It takes a courageous soul to heed Athena’s wisdom. But there is hope in her admonition; I especially like, “Where there is massive destruction, there is massive potential for new birth.” I believe that even the smallest change, the smallest act of conscious loving we can do for the existing life systems–including our own–is a worthy action, an honorable action. It is time for this COLLECTIVE change to take place. We all have sat on the sidelines for too long.
I wasn’t going to include this last bit but I think I must: ARE YOU responsible for Mother Earth’s vitality? Do you think it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to live in a way that does as little harm as possible to Her?
Shine On,
Mary Katherine
PS. Speaking of changes, many of you already know (through the world of social media) that I have started a new, full-time position at UNE as the Writing Specialist with the Student Academic Success Center. This comes at a GREAT time for me to level-up in my teaching and writing skills. I have a dreamy schedule: 3 days in person on the Portland campus and 2 remote days at my home office. But I’m not the only one adjusting to a new job! Michael is now the new Executive Director of the Midcoast Symphony Orchestra. We’re both feeling grateful and looking forward to a new normal…
Out celebrating our new jobs at Bunker Brewing in Portland
THIS DOESN’T MEAN I’m not seeing clients. Oh boy am I. I have my Saturdays booked out for July, and I do remote sessions. In fact, here’s a wonderful testimonial from my client Corinne in Topanga Canyon, California, offered with her permission:
“Healing my mind, body, and soul with Mary Katherine has been nothing short of magic. I began with in-person sessions when I was at a terribly low point in my life. I told her I couldn’t even feel my own spirit anymore. Tangibly, I was living in a tent, had health concerns, was taking anxiety medication for the first time in my life, and was working four jobs. Several months later I moved across the country to begin again, and honestly I was skeptical that maybe my sessions wouldn’t be as powerful from afar. I was so wrong! MK and I meet about once per month and she always provides me an inspiring mixture of wisdom from herself and our guides. I’m now in my own house, off meds, have one really awesome job, and am actually excited to move my body again (including opening my heart to love). Just the other day I remarked to her how not only can I feel my spirit again, I seek to expand it! She is a light worker and ally like I’ve not had before.”
Interested? Intrigued? I offer 30-minute free consults over the phone, if you’re wondering if shamanic healing and reiki is just what you need…call me: 207-939-6863
UPCOMING EVENTS and CLASSES
HULA-FIT
ANY LEVEL Hooping: Wednesday evenings at 6 PM-7 PM at Avalon (starts July 5th–Aug 30) Drop-ins welcomed! Sliding scale: $5-10
HULA-FIT Hooping: Saturday mornings at 10:30 at Avalon (starts August 5th and ryan through Sept 16*) Must sign up for the series as Hula-Fit is most successful in developmental stages; $50 for 5 classes (*class will not meet on Sept 9th)
My experience with offering HULA-FIT to Bonny Eagle Adult Education was a great success! And I want to continue to offer hula-hooping both as a fun, recreational activity and as a work-out.
I’ll be offering 2 different levels of hooping over the summer (see above description) and a few FREE CLASSES at PINE POINT BEACH on select Friday nights. Click here for more details!
LUGHNASA CEREMONY and FIRE FESTIVAL
Co-hosted and co-designed by Kristi Dawson Smith
Saturday, August 5th
Lughnasa, which is celebrated on August 1st (and traditionally for several days around the 1st of August) is named after the Celtic God Lugh, whose name means, ‘blinding light’ or ‘a flash of light,’ according to my sources (Caitlin Mathews, “Celtic Spirit: Daily Meditations of the Year”) On this “1st Harvest” we will build a fire of “melting our troubles,” generate “play” in the style of boasting, story-telling or other “Lugh-like” talents, and share in the seasonal treats of the harvest–Avalon’s fresh veggies and a bit of mead!
When: Saturday, August 5th, 5 PM–UNTIL
Where: Avalon Acres in Hollis, Maine
Cost: FREE!
What to Bring: A comfy camp chair or lawn chair, any potluck item you’re especially proud of to share (think “family recipes”), water/water bottle, an altar item that represents your most significant triumph in this life, and anything that helps you feel like LUGH: a sense of being confident, prideful, irresistible, charming, colorful, distinguished, optimistic and strutting your stuff!
**If you’re traveling from a good distance to attend, please know you are welcome to stay on the land in your tent or RV. We do have (2) bedrooms that are free to stay in, and a big barn to throw your therma-rest down.
Who doesn’t love a good bonfire? We’ve scraped together a LOT of brush over the last several months and it is TIME TO BURN it!
Come on out to Hollis on Friday, July 7th for some summer fun! Bring a friend, a lawnchair, a dish to share, some water and we’ll provide other light refreshments. Although this is not a ‘fire ceremony’ I am happy to stand witness to anything you need to let go of, letting the fire transmute it. Well-behaved dogs are welcome, as are musicians with their instruments and voices! All ages are very much welcome…Stop by or stay all night. (no need to RSVP)
FREE! CHECK IT OUT! NEW CIRCLE OFFERINGS AT AVALON!
__Talking Circles and Council –begins Thursday, July 13th at 6 PM–until. For more information, click HERE
__WISE WOMEN TALKING –every 2nd Sunday of the month, starts Aug 13th from 2 PM – 4 PM. For more information, click HERE
Why hold Talking Circles and Council?
We are now living in a time where we are being pelted with information from every direction (and alas, other forms of wisdom are being drowned out). Some information is good to know; other information is absorbed by us when it isn’t helpful yet we “take it in” simply because it’s there. Some people are yearning to be with others in community who are curious about people’s lived experiences, interested in hearing different perspectives, and are hungry for a space to express freely.
**REMINDER**
“LOVE ALL, SERVE ALL” is a great mantra to live by and I try to do what I can, when I can. That means bartering, trading, and, on occasion, moving my massage table into the barn so any client with challenges climbing stairs can still have a session at Avalon. In fact, the energy in the barn (pictured below) is quite amazing, and on this particular day, we were serenaded by chirping birds!
And finally…
The Nature Immersion Wanders at Avalon in May proved to be a transformational, soulful experience for the participants (and myself and my co-guide) and I look forward to doing more! If you or someone you know would like to “merge” with the spirit of the land, do some serious slowing down and be held in a sacred way with guides skilled in the art of mirroring, then please reach out and let me know! I’ll put you on my list for late summer/early Fall.
Here’s a lovely testimonial from one of the Wanderers:
“…Mary Katherine and Nancy created a safe space for each to explore unlimited possibilities for ourselves that day. I personally set an intention to allow and access (Avalon) Land with an open hearted question of What messages have you for me? Little could I imagine the immediate welcoming messages from White Pine, Fern, Mullein and Oak. On return, the task of sharing this experience to ‘others’, I felt empowered in the safety of Circle. I shared my stories from my Wander and their messages were all pertinent to me, and yet the entirety of my intention was met not only by the Nature Beings, but also through the guides, Mary Katherine and Nancy. I think this is the Magic I took away that day. It was an US experience, for we are not separate, are we? ” ~ Nancy Cole, Shapleigh, ME
We can’t please her no matter what. The coffee isn’t Fair Trade, the bed a little too firm and the shower pressure “just okay.” We’ve overlooked the details this house guest of grief picks up on. Her particular tastes, wants–the needed things!–and her locked stare on the enormous hole that a loss has made works to make us edgy, out of sorts and above all, terribly vulnerable. It’s only in time that we come to thank her for her gifts.
She also comes with the gift that we may have been unaware was overdue: the stripping away of the mundane, as if our entire bodies were dipped in a bucket of turpentine and the weeks, months, years of chipping paint disintegrates in a second, burns our skin, forces our eyes to squeeze out their necessary brine. She takes the unnecessary completely away and then scours, scraps, santizes. She then beckons us to be the nurse on duty: How will we care for our cleaned-out wounds, will we figure out how to wrap the bandages and apply the healing salve?
Depending on the nature of the loss, and what it might trigger inside of us, will determine what must be rehabilitated inside of us. Instead of muscling through, we cave inwardly, silent, still, immobile. In that cave, we pick up a needle, a thread and start to sew a cloak, a cape of survival. If we are very lucky, it is a garment that BECOMES us, not one we don at times of devastation. We become the medicine beyond our grief that loss left. In this, that fussy, needy house guest is brilliant, wise beyond her years.
And so I was reminded of these things about ten days ago. Excuse all of the mixed metaphors of the above paragraphs but a dismantling of reality will do that to a writer. On March 9th, Michael and I went down to Boston (Cambridge, actually-) to see one of my favorite singer/songwriters, Emily Scott Robinson. The plan was to leave on Thursday on the 3:30 bus, hop on the T at South Station and find the inn where we were staying before dinner–all of which we did, although I just about had a panic attack on the T. NOT a fan of being tucked into small places made of metal with a bunch of strangers–but that’s just me! After checking into the Friendly Inn at Harvard Square (packed with spirits, BTW-), we hustled over to the Russell House for dinner, which was lovely, if not a bit loud. I had oysters and a salad (and a dirty martini) and Michael had a salad, veg risotto and some wine. I’d been looking forward to the trip for a long time, that Friday, March 10th, was the start of my Spring break from UNE. After canceling Thursday’s classes, my vaca had started early! Yah! Michael, having grown up in Newton and having attended MIT, was right at home and feeling the familiar vibes.
We got to the Sinclair about forty minutes before the show started. Hardly anyone was there, and so we got right up front, inches away from the mic. I was so pumped, so excited! However, to my great disappointment, Emily only played four songs all night. She was touring with other singers this time–Alissa Amodor and Violet Bell–and although the mixed talent was appreciated, I was going to see her. The crowd was a little weird, too. Is it the sober curious movement? Surely all those Harvard kids are used to letting their hair down. ‘Subdued’ was an understatement, and my hoots and hollers and singing along got me some eye-rolls and sideways glances.
The show ended at 10:50 PM, and, with my hopes dampened, we made our way back to the haunted Friendly Inn. I know it’s silly, but I was honestly, truly upset. I had wanted to be taken into the soul of Emily Scott Robinson through her music, her songs–they’d broken me open when I saw her on November 6th, 2021, in a little mountain town named Sparta, North Carolina. Emily is a NC native, like me. She grew up in Greensboro–where I was born–and moved out to Colorado chasing dreams (yup, me too). I’ve always felt a visceral connection to her and on that fateful night in Sparta, I got to meet her, chat, throw my arms around her and tell her that she was the perfect mix of June Carter and Joni Mitchell. So, yeah. ‘Disappointed’ is an understatement. We got into the room (roasting!) and I lit some sage to ban the ghosts, blabbing on about the ‘false advertising’ we’d been subjected to. (*Emily was the headliner so I do feel justified in complaining about the measly four songs). Finally, I washed my face, climbed into bed and shut up.
The next day, Michael said to me, “I’m sorry last night wasn’t exactly what you’d expected. What can we do to change the channel?”
“Just take me home. I want to get out of here and go home,” I said as I stuffed my backpack. “Like, now. No breakfast, no showers. Let’s just go!”
And so we did. We made the 10 AM bus back to Portland and got back to Avalon by noon. Gone for less than 24 hours. Our house-sitter texted that she’d left around 11:15 AM, and that Molly had been walked. I was looking forward to taking a long walk with Molly–too much sitting on buses and Ts! I went upstairs to change into my exercise clothes and that’s when I heard it: a wail I will never forget as long as I live. For a second, I thought maybe Michael had started to chop wood for the maple boil and he’d slipped and really injured himself. I did not know my husband could make a sound like the one I heard that day and, depending on your perspective, it may have been easier to take had he chopped off a finger.
In our absence, our hens who had been left in their cozy coop, had either been terrorized by an animal or had turned on themselves–they were all dead. Three of them had their necks torn out and two were just dead. We had not asked our house-sitter to do anything with them; they had food, water, a heat lamp that was on a timer. Plus, we knew we’d be back before anyone could say Avalon Acres.
If they got spooked, and freaked out, then they very well could have killed each other. When chickens turn on each other, it can be for a variety of reasons: Pecking order got out of hand, overcrowding, bullying (different than pecking ), a sickness/a sick chicken, boredom, not enough protein in their diet, stress. Chickens also need to get out of their coops at least once a day, despite not liking the cold or wet. They need things to peck at, to scratch; in our chicken yard right now, those things consist mainly of patches of snow in various stages of melting and refreezing. We also learned that once a chicken sees the sight of blood, they kind of go berserk and lose it– a chicken frenzy.
Instead of going further with details, rationalizing the mysterious circumstances or wallowing on the page in the canyon of guilt Michael and I both feel (it DID happen while we were gone-), I want to highlight those gifts the needy houseguest of grief left us with. On a personal level, I had to work through old feelings of perceived unworthiness: Who AM I to think we could pull off this farm thing? Look what happened because of us silly novices! I don’t deserve the privilege of the rural life (and on and on). Added to this litany of self-abuse, I was triggered from a past life, or lives: in several past lives, things had gone badly in my absence. Whether it was returning home from plundering, fighting or exploring, I have had plenty of experiences in past lives of coming home to find nothing left and the dead all around. With the backlog of guilt from not being able to protect what was mine from these past experiences, my invisible tee-shirt for this life announces, “Not on my watch!” I got you, don’t worry with me on the scene. I’ll be there, By God.
The tragedy brought to the forefront a need to re-evaluate the many different roles we’ve fallen into. In other words, we’d siloed ourselves in certain duties and responsibilities, all the while neglecting the ‘team-work’ aspect of running Avalon. This unfortunate event gave us a chance to review those roles and re-commit to doing more as a team–shared vision, shared responsibility. For many of you reading this newsletter, you know that Michael possesses the Divine Masculine so beautifully: ACTION, rational thought, building, weighing options and risks, seeing the long view with a very big dose of vision thrown in. Me? I could sit under my favorite tree and count pine needles, be contented to drum under the full moon and light the ceremonial fires round and round the calendar wheel. Had we not communicated effectively about what the chickens needed? Had we failed them, and ourselves, with some unspoken detail or undersight? How did falling into our siloed duties play into this tragedy, if at all? I gathered eggs, helped to clean the coop from time to time and tossed them scratch but maybe I was leaving too much for him to manage.
Maybe, maybe, maybe. Speculation is a game we humans can play all night long; as long as there’s human imagination and the force of guilt locked and loaded, that game can go on ad nauseam. But at some point, you have to stop. You have to have mercy on yourself. You have to forgive.
That is one of the hardest things to do, it seems. Many of us feel that if we forgive ourselves, it means we’ve moved on– a hint of exoneration seeping down our faces along with the tears. I can never, ever forget what happened to our beloved chickens, AND I will move on with a renewed respect for owning and caring for domesticated animals. I will move on with a refined sense of direct communication with my husband, and a deeper acceptance of our different communication styles. I will move on with even more willingness to turn my vulnerability into the medicine I need to grow. Death blows one open and urges us to move on with more knowledge, more skill and more understanding.
Because if you don’t learn from bad things that happen to you, what is the point of going through it? From the soul’s perspective, all it wants to do is grow. The last time I checked, spiritual growth and soul evolution generally require some pain, sometimes some suffering, oftentimes, some loss. We get to whittle ourselves down to the most concentrated version of compassion that our humility can withstand. And that stingy, fussy, needy houseguest of grief knows that all too well.
We had an awful thing happen here at Avalon and we are learning from it. I can be proud of my ability to let the courage of brutal self-examination set my course moving forward. Our hearts are still breaking for “the girls” and as with any trauma on this scale, things won’t ever quite be the same. Things will be different with how we work with this land, how we honor and respect the risks that come with a rural lifestyle. I must believe that is a good thing, and I truly believe that Fortune Favors the Bold. We were emboldened to leave our life in Portland, our tidy condo with zero responsibility, and our friends to begin a new adventure and to carry out a dream. I would not trade that for anything. The gifts, this time, for daring greatly have come in unsightly, uncomfortable packaging. But they are gifts all the same.
Thank you for reading this story of loss. If something has gone away for you, if something has been lost, if something has left or died because you couldn’t protect it, please do not blame, shame or speculate. Be Human, and know that you are not alone in your pain.
Welcome that house guest in. Her neediness will pursue you until you surrender. Trust me: She is wise in her peculiar ways.
“No One is Free Until We Are ALL Free” ~ Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
U.S. resident, 1787: “Do we have a Republic or a Monarchy, Dr. Franklin?”
Ben Franklin, leaving the Constitutional Convention: “A Republic, if you can keep it.”
Dr King’s declaration about the nature of freedom is almost philosophical in its tone while Ben Franklin’s infamous quote comes with a warning, ‘if you can keep it.’ When I included the King quote in one of my Freshmen English paper prompts, most 18 year olds were not really able to grasp the implication of how ‘no one’ can be free until ‘all’ are free. It takes an immense amount of empathy and awareness to contemplate that, a lot of listening and perhaps asking hard questions; and to Franklin’s point, “keeping” an entity as foundational to freedom as a REPUBLIC is the whole point–a Republic needs good caretakers. These precious democracies do NOT “keep” themselves. Government, civil rights, freedom–they aren’t “ideas;” ONLY in practice do they have any meaning at all. Only in the Good Will of the citizens can they even thrive.
I could wax poetic for a long time here today about the precariousness of our democracy, or as another great thinker among us, Dr. Cornel West put it, “the great experiment called democracy.” We’ve come a long way…and yet. I’m not the first person to observe that things in this country are moving backwards, that progress also could be added to that aforementioned list of ideals. The fight for the rights of ALL people that Dr. King advocated for (and died for) is still our fight. We are still trying to keep our Republic.
Or are we? Many feel deflated, worn out, hopeless. Many believe that politics is a low-vibing arena of bi-partisanship that they really aren’t interested in sullying themselves in. Personally, I trust (and am more interested in) what happens in my LOCAL environment as far as governing goes, and how to affect change. It’s just more relative, more pertinent to my experience.
As bad as it is, many of us are grateful to live here and not some other country. I know I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else. And as I grow older, I’m curious about how the application of freedom does, in fact, get carried out. Were we the people Dr. King and Dr. Franklin envisioned as the executors of justice, of civil rights, of freedom? How are we measuring up as the lucky Caretakers of a Republic? Does injustice, oppression and discrimination happen to ‘other’ people or does it have to happen to us directly for us to get involved?
None are free until all are free. Thank you, Dr. King.
Find out today where your water comes from. Find out who is on your school board. Reach out to a neighbor and see if they need their driveway shoveled. Be the Citizen you imagine exists here in our land of the Free.
Shine On,
Mary Katherine
I HAVE 2 REMINDERS and 2 NEW OFFERINGS!
Reminder #1: There is still time to join my Time Machine Mavens class! I can take ONE MORE STUDENT for this class on Past Lives and how to learn from them through the written word. For a fuller description, check out my website page! Starts Jan 24th (6 PM Zoom) and runs for 4 weeks
Reminder #2: DRUM MAKING WORKSHOP with Jane E King! Make your own Medicine Drum with an extraordinary teacher and ceremonialist. All-day event takes place at Avalon Acres on Saturday March 25th; for more info, check out my website page! An incredible experience, if you’ve been wanting a drum
NEW OFFERINGS!
“It is time to gather your tribe”
What is your soul trying to reveal to you? Are you a woman rising up to the occasion of shedding the old and proudly wearing the vestments of a seer, healer, teacher, path-maker, bard or other kind of mover-n-shaker?
Do you crave the company of others who are dancing their inner light for all to see, unafraid, uninhibited, and very-much overdue?
To speak your heart’s desires in a soulful, safe container with others who are setting little fires of bold love in their precious lives is much needed–and from what I have witnessed in my clients–much appreciated when the container is available. That’s why I have designed an opportunity twice a month for women to gather in such a way.
Women in ancient times used to gather to do their work together–washing at the river, pounding wool, grinding corn, sewing and weaving. As they worked, they sang, they talked, they gave advice. In our current technological age where everyone is a broadcaster and memes with Kermit the Frog give us our daily “advice,” it is my belief that something deep inside us women is calling us back to sit together, to share and hear the stories of others. When one or more are gathered in a way that is meant to move us beyond the mundane world, the work of the heart is initiated…and the soul gets its needed floor time.
On The Persian Rug Series will take place twice a month (the first Thursday evening of the month and the 3rd Saturday morning of the month) at my Portland office, 640 Brighton Ave (with the exception of April 6th*); in these circles we will:
Have council to share stories and witness others
Guided meditation if the circle falls near a holiday
Witness triumphs, lessons learned, and downloads
Do energy work for anyone needing a healing boost (*although you do NOT need to be an energy worker to attend)
On occasion, Tarot or Oracle readings
The dates for our circles are as follows:
__Thursday, Feb 2nd 5:30 PM- 7 PM (IMBOLC! Guided meditation to Brigid)
__Saturday, Feb 18th 10:30- 12 Noon (New moon Ritual)
__Thursday, March 2nd 5:30 PM-7 PM (Intention setting for Sacred Discernment)
__Saturday, March 18th 10:30 AM- 12 NOON (Spring Equinox!)
__Thursday, April 6th AT AVALON! (Drum Circle under the FULL MOON! Arrive by 6 PM, end time “until”)
__Saturday, April 22nd 10:30 AM-12 NOON (*this is actually the 4th Sat of the month; Earth Day and guided journey to GAIA!)
COST: Suggested Donation $10-$20 [if you need a spiritual boost and cannot afford this sliding scale, please contact me directly & ask about a trade]
RSVP: is Required! Please RSVP as space is limited (6-7 ppl) at my Portland office. We will sit, well, ON THE PERSIAN RUG! So please bring a back-jack, comfy cushion, pillow or yoga bolster. Tea will be served upon arrival and an altar will be set.
**Sending your PayPal or Venmo donation saves your spot; if you plan on attending, please remit at least 48 hours in advance. Keep these dates with descriptions handy and do reach out with any questions! ninepillarshealing@gmail.com or (207) 939-6863
Our first circle on 02/02 will be IMBOLC! How exciting to commence this series with Brigid, the Celtic Goddess of Healing, Hearth & Home, Smithcraft and Poetry…
Hope to see you in circle!
NEW OFFERING #2:
OUTDOOR NATURE RETREAT
with Snow Shoe at Avalon Acres
Water Song Ceremony by Stony Brook
*followed by lunch!
Friday, Feb 10th, 9am -1 PM
What secret might you hear in the forest of Avalon? Do you know how hungry the trees are for your admiration? Is it time to let the sacred waters wash away the residue of painful memories, signaling the new iteration of human you are becoming?
If you need a forest soak, communion with a soulful community, or to realign your body with the tones and colors of Mother Earth, this Nature Retreat at Avalon is for you!
We will also be learning and singing the Water Song, or as it is known in the Northern New England Native American tribes, “Nee-Bee-WA-Bow.”
A morning spent on the land, a council in the barn, an honoring of the flow of water–the source of life itself–will be what fills your tank. A delicious vegan lunch ends our time together.
WHERE: Avalon Acres, 167 Mansion Rd, Hollis, ME
WHEN: Friday, February 10th, 9 AM- 1 PM
WHAT TO BRING: Snowshoes, water bottle, journal & pen, appropriate clothes for outdoors, and click-sticks if you have them (I have plenty-)
COST: $45 Remitting payment via PayPal or Venmo saves your spot; RSVP at least 48 hrs in advance
Well, happy December! I, for one, never thought we’d see the 12th month. Does it feel like there was like–I don’t know–4 years packed into this one?
One of the hardships and mental drains that defined my 2022 was the brutal but much needed review of who and what I truly wanted in my life, especially in terms of relationships. Recognizing a relationship isn’t what it used to be is difficult. On one hand, you may be feeling the pain of ‘what once was;’ you likely have some confusion around what to do, if anything, to make it viable again. You may feel some horror at the prospects of letting it go. However, from a strictly theoretical point of view, if it’s really not working anymore, letting it go should be a relief, right? Don’t we strive to participate in relationships with people who honor our needs (and we honor theirs), appreciate our quirks (and we appreciate theirs!) and celebrate the trusted, on-going moments of growth that only a loving, respectable relationship can provide?
I wish it was that easy, or even that straightforward. 2022 has been a work-in-progress sorting out which relationships fit into the above-mentioned profile and which ones do not. An utterly exhausting exercise in and of itself, it was a double-whammy to realize some of the relationships I was trying to salvage were with folks who really weren’t that interested in fighting for our relationship or in figuring out why things were broken, stale or unsatisfying.
Or maybe they, like me, just didn’t know how to end it. If you read my last newsletter, then you’ll remember that a massive cleaning-of-my-psychic and spiritual houses has been underway since the end of May. I don’t think I was quite ready to grasp that this sanitation process was to be applied to a handful of friends, some of them very dear to me.
And breaking up with a friend can be as messy and just as painful as breaking up with an intimate partner or lover. In fact, most people really do not have a clue as to how to compassionately have a friend-breakup. Oftentimes, you just slip away from each other, the ‘recognition’ that something has devolved between you not addressed at all. But I think you’ll agree that unspoken words of betrayal and loss still haunt us, even if the slippage feels benign. The effect of not acknowledging something that once stood sacred in our lives will take up residency in our oldest, darkest places of hurt. I think this may be because those shadowy caverns are our childhood places. Places where the little girl or little boy who wasn’t asked to sit at the lunch table with others lives. It’s where the one who wasn’t picked for kickball lives, and the one who did not receive an invite to the party. Our ability to actually ‘grow up’ is based on how successful our social bonds were when we were learning about the world, and we learn early on that rejection hurts.
Because I received so much gratitude and kudos for bearing my soul in my last newsletter, I’m going to try and re-assert some of that vulnerability in this one. With such a commitment to authenticity, some of you might not like what I’m about to say. Please know it’s only my opinion, and my intention is merely philosophical: for you to think about the troubling and nuanced ways of how we all bear or break our relations with other human beings.
I believe canceling someone from your life is a cop-out and naming anyone who doesn’t jive with your energetic reality as someone who is ‘toxic’ is also a grave disservice to your very soul. Relationships happen to be the exclusive penthouse wherein the soul has the opportunity to grow. Without meaningful relationships, life would be miserable! And we’d know nothing of substance about ourselves. Without difficult, sometimes challenging relationships, our hearts would never deepen and our ability to truly build the megaphone of compassion would be lost. Relationships–intimate partner ones, family ones and friend ones–are our lives’ wisepointers. They show us what lessons we came here to learn, what karmic contracts to work through. They stretch us emotionally and sustain us when we need it the most. And they also teach us that the seduction of “getting our way” is a default setting designed to protect and defend. A hardy relationship is one which has seen and weathered a variety of storms…and revels in its own happy container when the seas are calm.
And that’s why ghosting and unfriending and canceling people from your life is dangerous and could result in the upset of a half-realized human. The repercussions are far-reaching but there’s a bigger issue at play: our propensity to avoid people who do not share our particular perspective and to only gravitate to the ones who mirror our own values works to create the deadly polarization we’re presently experiencing in our country (and beyond). Is it possible that the polarization epidemic has given rise to the cancel culture, or is it the other way around?
Just to be entirely clear, I am not advocating for anyone to stick around for abuse, violence, neglect in a relationship or to stay in even an atrophied relationship. But if you do agree with my assertion that relationships are the school teachers of our lives, why then is it so easy to give up on them? I want to also recognize that not all relationships are necessarily forged in the fires of trust, loyalty, levity or even friendliness. With the ubiquitous nature of social media and the dizzying communication tools of texting and email, we are “in touch with” a whole lot of people these days. But do we really have solid relationships with these people? Not likely. It’s easy to surface-feed on “friends” these days. So, perhaps some of the relationship wreckage is due to the fact that the relationship in question really didn’t have good footing in the first place.
I have talked to so many people who have experienced friend break-ups this year, many of them confounded as to what they “did.” If you’re feeling ignored, snubbed or otherwise unsure about a friend, it might not have anything to do with you. It’s 2022! That person is probably just busy/distracted. But it’s human nature to assume that we did something wrong; also, we can go to the dark place with these ruminations. I’ll add that as a matter of checking in with yourself, if you are feeling ignored or forgotten, ask yourself: Who am I ignoring? Who have I forgotten about? If you’re feeling unseen, you might be putting the energy out there in the cosmos. I believe ‘what comes around goes around.’
As a matter of spiritual hygiene, I went to my upper world guide with this conundrum. My heart still hurt so deeply over the two friend break-ups I endured this year and none of my rituals, ceremonies or prayers were really doing much to heal the loss. And so, Athena–the Goddess of Wisdom and War–gave me some very simple but wise action steps to take that I’d like to share with you.
In the event that you (or the person you are in relationship with) have recognized that the relationship is starting to wither or has weathered some uninvited change, then acknowledging this fact is the first step. This can be as easy as saying to them (or texting!), ‘I’m sensing some distance creeping in between us and I’m wondering if you’re feeling it too? Would you be up for a chat?’ [DO NOT discuss or explore what could be going ‘wrong’ over your phone or email! No!]
Athena then explained that one of two likely outcomes after acknowledgment would present: 1) Reassurance, or 2) Reveal.
In Reassurance, the person who sensed that the relationship was amiss is, well, reassured that All Is Well. A classic case of “I’ve been stressed/busy/overwhelmed” might be the reason; reassuring the person that they did nothing wrong is essentially the purpose of this tack.
In Reveal, something is indeed amiss in the relationship. This stage of exchange is for both parties to hear the others’ perspective, explore where the breakdown happened (communication, assumptions, trigger) and to own whatever role each played. Listening with the ears of the heart is crucial. You absolutely want to avoid the defense position here, and it’s best if you have some non-violent communication tools up your sleeve in order for this conversation to be as helpful as possible.
Once the Revealing has taken place, Athena explained that there are then another set of outcomes which will play out: Working Through It or Honor and End.
In Working Through It, heartfelt apologies are the first step. It’s important to not get bogged down with why something happened the way it did, as ongoing explanations do signal defensiveness. Both parties agree to resolve the issue(s) with forgiveness first and clear action steps to act more responsibly in the future. For instance, if it was a communication mis-fire, perhaps you talk about what you will do in the future to change your language choices. Identifying needs–and speaking them–is also a stop to make in this phase, and will help to dictate the needed action steps.
However, there is another option: Honor and End. This stage is appropriate if you both have realized that Working Through It is not an option. There could be a myriad of reasons for this: too much time has passed; respect has been irrevocably lost; positions on what to do to resolve the issue might be in opposition to each other; the karmic contract is up and therefore, the desire to carry on simply is not there. Although not a complete list, it covers many scenarios.
When we are too impulsive to cancel someone in an effort to extract ‘toxicity’ from our lives, we are robbing ourselves of honestly healing from a relationship that ends. This “flowchart” offered by Athena makes the process a little more gentle, and a lot more holistic. Goodbyes are never easy but they are part of life. No one is exempt from loss.
It takes someone brave to capitulate to this process. And I’m fairly certain that the friends I’ve lost this year would still be people who needed to move on from my life even after going through these thoughtful steps. However, we’d have healing and closure to take with us on our respective journeys.
I am so thankful for this instruction from Athena and pray that, in the event that another misfire happens in a relationship I care about, I’ll have the courage to walk through these steps. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.
In closing, I want to wish everyone a very blessed Yule season. It is the time of quiet contemplation, of rest and of dwelling beside the teacher of darkness. May gentle self-inquiry be with you!
Embodying the Divine Feminine 